The Way of Life for a Terminal S-Class Hunter - C55
$55
“We’re going to Katie Bell.”
“Ah, I see.”
It was a place I had visited when I first joined the guild and needed to meet guests. It was quite a formal establishment – they wouldn’t refuse entry for casual clothes, but most people wore formal attire.
“It mustn’t have been easy to make a reservation.”
“I’ve been thinking I should treat you sometime.”
Have I done anything worthy of such a grand treat… I felt only embarrassed, thinking I had shown many unimpressive sides of myself recently.
“Let’s go in for now.”
We arrived at the restaurant after about 15 minutes by car. Without us saying anything, a waiter bowed and naturally guided us to our seats. It was a room with one of the few doors.
“Then, I’ll prepare the appetizer first.”
Well, I’d be busy until next week, and after that I’d be leaving the guild, so this kind of occasion wasn’t bad. Looking at the waiter’s back, such thoughts suddenly occurred to me. No, I should have told him first that I would be leaving soon.
Due to the extreme changes, preparations were lacking. In fact, I had already mentioned quitting the guild, so I had been avoiding it, thinking I could tell him after the dungeon conquest was over.
“I should have been the one to arrange a place like this, I’m sorry for only receiving.”
I broke the silence first while looking at the appetizer that came out with a simple introduction.
“Don’t think like that. Let’s eat first.”
I thought Lee-han might have something important to say, but contrary to expectations, the conversation continued casually. While eating the main course, we talked about how a subordinate recently brought their pet dog to the guild because their family went on a trip.
“At first, I asked what they were thinking bringing it, and people were bewildered, but by evening everyone liked it. It was too small to chase out, so it was troublesome.”
With Lee-han’s personality, he probably couldn’t have chased it out even if the dog had been big.
“Animals have that kind of charm.”
“Did you know? Dogs’ paws smell nutty.”
Lee-han spoke as if that day had been bothersome, but it seemed he had developed quite an interest in the dog. Given our profession, we mostly encounter monsters, so there probably aren’t many opportunities to meet such small and cute living beings.
“It does seem like it would be fun to live with a dog.”
“It’s hard to raise one when living alone though.”
I once spent a long time considering taking in an injured cat I saw. In the end, I took it to the hospital but didn’t have the confidence to raise it, so I found someone to adopt it after asking around.
“That’s right. It’s not easy for either of us.”
Neither Lee-han nor I had anyone living with us, so it was difficult to keep a pet. It’s not that I had no family at all. After the incident, except for my uncle, the relatives who had quietly pretended not to know me seemed to have contacted the guild occasionally after I joined Ihwa, but Seo-heon said he cut them all off. He asserted that it was better to be a complete orphan than to have shackle-like relatives who didn’t even care for you.
“Hyung, you knew my parents were problematic people, right?”
“Huh?”
The topic of conversation suddenly shifted to something heavier. Lee-han’s eyes showed he was calmly stating a fact he already knew, not testing me.
“Yes.”
“How did you know?”
“When we first met, you were so thin. It didn’t seem like you were just skinny from a growth spurt… I also saw some scars that didn’t seem recent. Actually, because the hunter corps I was in as a child was a place where exposure to violence was common, I recognized it right away.”
The fact that he didn’t look for his parents around was also in that context. Even if those people were alive, I hoped they would be rescued separately, and I had no intention of sending Lee-han back.
“It’s arrogant, but since I had saved you, I wanted to help you live well. Seeing that you didn’t look for your parents afterwards, I thought it might be better if they weren’t around. Looking back now, it was quite presumptuous. I was young then too.”
“No, your thoughts were right. I’m still grateful. I think there could have been bad things if my awakening had been earlier than the accident.”
Actually, I had secretly looked into his parents. It was said to be a household known for violence in the area. After becoming a hunter, there were shameless relatives who contacted him. At that time, I cut off those contacts. In doing so, I think I came to understand Seo-heon’s words to some extent.
“You were the only one who taught me it was okay to trust people. I’ve always wanted to say thank you, but…”
Suddenly feeling choked up, I couldn’t speak.
“No matter what happens, I’m on your side, hyung. I just wanted to tell you that.”
Now was the time. I shouldn’t just gloss over this with someone who trusted me.
“Lee-han, I have something I need to tell you.”
I didn’t intend to tell everything honestly. But…
“Actually, I’m planning to leave after this subjugation.”
“Yeah. You said you were leaving the guild. If possible, I’d like to follow you and change guilds too. Even if it’s somewhere I join later, that’s fine.”
I shook my head.
“That’s not what I mean.”
Lee-han’s eyes wavered. He seemed to have read the meaning from just a small clue.
“Hyung…”
“I’m going to a place where people won’t know. I won’t contact anyone, and I’ll live like I’ve disappeared.”
“Don’t do that. Why, is it because of that bastard? Why do you have to give up everything because of someone like that?”
Lee-han, who had stood up from his seat, came to my side and held my hand. I faced Lee-han without avoiding him.
“It’s not because of Seo-heon. I’m doing this because I have to do this for myself.”
“Then, take me with you.”
I shook my head again. Lee-han bowed his head deeply.
“Are you involved in some dangerous situation where your life is at risk or something?”
Secretly clutching my startled heart, I gave an answer that was neither truth nor lie.
“What could I possibly be involved in that’s like that?”
After staying silent for a long time, Lee-han spoke as if sighing.
“I like you.”
Then he hurriedly covered his face with his hands.
“I wasn’t planning to say this today… But I thought you might leave without giving me a chance…”
I was well aware that I was quite oblivious when it came to human relationships. Especially regarding matters of love. I had only looked at one person for a long time, so I didn’t know other ways of love, nor did I know how others expressed love.
Even someone like me could tell that Lee-han’s confession didn’t simply mean human affection. The reddened face, the flustered attitude, the words bursting out even knowing it wasn’t the right moment to speak… All were paths I had walked before.
“Lee-han…”
That’s why I couldn’t easily find an answer. I was a person who was going to leave, and Lee-han was a person who had to stay.
“I’m not saying this expecting any answer. Actually, I was planning to say this after preparing more and when you had distanced yourself a bit from Kang Seo-heon, and I know you just think of me as a younger brother.”
I knew too. Love doesn’t always start with expecting something.
“I know.”
“I know you’ll reject me because you only think of me as a younger brother. But please don’t reject me right now. Even if you’re going to reject me, I want it to be later.”
I cut off Lee-han’s words as he kept mumbling with his face covered.
“Lee-han, look at me.”
Our gazes intertwined. Because I couldn’t accept Lee-han’s feelings, I could paradoxically understand them.
“I understand everything you want to say. I won’t pry until you’re ready. But I won’t forget either.”
It might have been an irresponsible thing to say. But if it were me, I wouldn’t have wanted to hear words of thanks or apology.
“That’s what I liked about you, hyung. That kind of kindness where you don’t rush anything and wait a step behind.”
“That’s just how you saw me.”
In the brief silence, the sound of a fork scraping a plate was heard. Neither Lee-han nor I was eating, we just found it difficult to keep our bodies still.
“No matter what you say, the fact that I’m leaving won’t change. But Lee-han, I’ll wait until you’ve said everything you want to say.”
“Okay.”
No matter when or what Lee-han said, my answer wouldn’t change unless a miracle happened.
“I’ll be satisfied with just that for now.”
Lee-han’s face, which had been very tense, brightened. We scraped our spoons around until the dessert bowls were empty and then left the restaurant. I had a vague memory of what we talked about in the car on the way back. Lee-han probably felt the same.
“What about you?”
“I have somewhere to drop by for a moment.”
Lee-han, who had dropped me off in front of the dormitory, didn’t get out of the driver’s seat. When I said we could have just parted at the restaurant, he replied that he couldn’t do that.
“Then I’ll go in first.”
As I turned my back after saying goodbye, Lee-han lowered the window and called out to me.
“Hyung.”
He hesitated for a moment as if pondering something, then opened his mouth.
“Since I haven’t been rejected yet, I won’t just be a younger brother from now on.”
Lee-han paused briefly, then spoke with a smile.
“From tomorrow, I’m a man who’s about to confess to you, hyung.”
Then he drove off before hearing my reply. Lee-han’s wish was somewhat fulfilled.