The Way of Life for a Terminal S-Class Hunter - C48
$48
My chin was grabbed and I directly met Seo-heon’s eyes. His dark pupils seemed to melt into the night sky, becoming deeper and sinking into blackness.
“I’m sincere.”
“So who are you going to say it is, that guy just now? Or that wet-behind-the-ears Shin Lee-han?”
Even if it was an excuse, I had no desire to involve others. I was especially worried about causing unexpected harm if I spoke to Seo-heon, who was reacting so strangely.
“I’ll tell you when the time comes.”
That time would never come, but I felt I needed to end this situation somehow. It would be fine since I wouldn’t be around by the time he brought up this question again.
‘Is it really okay?’
Perhaps Seo-heon thought of me more importantly than I realized. Until a few weeks ago, I felt I couldn’t be anything to him, but seeing his changed attitude now made me uneasy. At first, I thought he was acting this way because he valued me as a guild member, then due to the inertia of our long-shared time, and somewhat distorted relationship.
‘But if Seo-heon still has feelings of caring for me like a friend or family… if he still thinks of me as precious now…’
Then I needed to cut off the relationship even faster. I didn’t want my death to remain as excessive sorrow for Seo-heon. Rather than leaving Seo-heon to suffer after I disappeared, it would be better for me to become someone of no value at all, even if it hurt me.
“If you’re going to say it with that face, you might as well not say anything.”
“What did I do?”
“How am I supposed to react when you say you’ve found someone you like with an expression that looks like you’re about to cry?”
I answered “No,” but it was an empty cry. We spent a long time looking in different directions.
“I want to return everything to how it was, Woo-hyun.”
Cold air caused Seo-heon’s breath to come out as steam.
“To when we were complete.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Do you know how it feels trying to piece together a shattered glass bottle?”
It was an unexpected story.
“I know I’m being irrational, and even though I’m overwhelmed by anxiety that I won’t be able to do it in the end, that’s all I can do. Because that’s the only glass bottle I have.”
I was confused about whether Seo-heon was talking about our relationship now or something else.
‘Why are you bringing this up when I have so little life left?’
I felt resentful. And I held back from saying that the relationship you want is not at all the direction I wanted.
“Do you suddenly want to become a poet?”
I indirectly expressed again that I didn’t understand. Seo-heon also stopped saying things I couldn’t comprehend.
“Right. I guess I got spiteful because it seems like you’re doing well while I feel like I’m about to break up.”
“What?”
It was a truly sudden statement. Even today, the two of them were together and their feelings for each other didn’t seem to have cooled.
“Ho-jun seems to be catching on to our story.”
A chilling thought crept up my spine.
“Perhaps…”
Guilt and fear mixed, causing nausea.
“I don’t intend to hold you responsible. It’s okay.”
If they were breaking up because of our relationship to save my life.
“It was unavoidable, wasn’t it? Still, I feel sad that you say you’re distancing yourself because you’ve found someone precious.”
What should I do?
Indeed, Seo-heon was the person who knew best how to break down my resolve.
“What should I do?”
I managed to speak with difficulty. Even if there was no way to take back the spilled water, I needed to find a way to clean it up. With my head bowed deeply, I couldn’t even imagine how Seo-heon was feeling now.
‘Won’t it be okay when I’m gone?’
If possible, I wanted to leave immediately, but there were things I had to do. The dungeon conquest was an important mission for not only Seo-heon but our entire guild, so abandoning it and running away would be irresponsible. However, I couldn’t think of any good way to resolve the conflict between Seo-heon and Ho-jun that arose because of me.
“It’s a problem that will all be resolved if you just stay still. Don’t try to change any more.”
Don’t change any more. A sprout of rebelliousness wondering if I had changed as much as him raised its head, only to be crushed by the massive boulder of guilt. Was there a more difficult order than to stay still in this situation?
“Then why did you tell me?”
I couldn’t understand why he would tell me about a problem I couldn’t solve. If it was to stir up my emotions, it was successful, but it wasn’t good for Seo-heon either.
I guess he just thought it was something I should know. Because he doesn’t know my feelings.
“I’ll take care of everything, so don’t do anything.”
Seo-heon emphasized to me repeatedly. Those words sounded like a demand not to distance myself from him further, or a warning not to do unnecessary things and complicate matters. But this was just speculation, and I had no way of knowing exactly what Seo-heon meant.
***
Regardless of my heavy heart, the next morning dawned. Time flowed equally for everyone, and even for me, with just a handful of sand left in the hourglass of life, there was no way to avoid it. Thanks to the afternoon meeting, it was possible to push aside distracting thoughts.
It’s fortunate. If there hadn’t been anything special today, I would have wasted the day just thinking unnecessary thoughts.
In the morning, I just repeated unproductive worries. It was fortunate that things would get busy from the afternoon.
“I think everyone gathered here today, except for Halo-ssi, has worked together at least once.”
Mi-yeon-ssi, who always handled important occasions, spoke politely. As she said, even I, who often traveled abroad, had worked with everyone here at least once – Seo-heon, Lee-han, Juhee-ssi, Seokju-ssi, Gangui-ssi, Gyeongju-ssi, Lee Hye-ssi, and even the backup members. Among them, Lee-han, Juhee-ssi, and Seokju-ssi were outstanding individuals who could aim for vice guild master positions if they went to other guilds.
“But as you all know, hunters’ abilities change and grow, so combat styles can change even after two or three months. Therefore, I judged it would be better to increase understanding of positions and then go into actual combat together at least once.”
It wasn’t common, but skills could be newly acquired as dungeon conquest rewards, and levels could increase as proficiency rose. Mi-yeon-ssi’s words were reasonable. This must have been agreed upon with Seo-heon. Mi-yeon-ssi was practically performing a role close to Seo-heon’s secretary or vice guild master.
“So what we’ve decided is…”
A commotion was heard from the building entrance. Mi-yeon-ssi, whose hunter rank was only D, probably couldn’t hear the noise outside, but she stopped speaking due to the disturbed atmosphere in the conference room. After about a minute, Kwon Ho-jun burst through the door with a bang.
“Seo-heon-ssi!”
At his appearance, some people looked disgusted, while others looked bewildered. Seo-heon coldly dismissed Kwon Ho-jun without taking his eyes off his documents.
“We’re in a meeting.”
“Are you not prioritizing me over others right now?”
Words that seemed odd for a quarrel between a loving couple mixed in and popped out. Having only seen Kwon Ho-jun being loved in Seo-heon’s arms, I was perplexed by this situation, following the previous incident. Moreover, I couldn’t understand how Seo-heon, who seemed to be at fault, was responding.
“I need an explanation. If you don’t come out right now, I’ll get angrier, so you’d better do something.”
Before storming out, Ho-jun scanned the conference room. After he left, an awkward atmosphere lingered in the room.
“Um… shall we continue?”
Seo-heon didn’t get up immediately, but tapped his fingers on the table. Uncontained irritation leaked through his expression.
“Let’s resume in fifteen minutes.”
Only then did Seo-heon leisurely rise from his seat. His gaze briefly fell on me before disappearing. I wasn’t the only one who thought the person who had always acted kindly towards Ho-jun had changed, as a brief commotion arose.
“What’s going on? I was surprised because he always kept a poker face no matter how much that Ho-jun guy caused a fuss.”
Juhee-ssi shook her head and sought agreement from Lee Hye-ssi sitting next to her. Lee Hye-ssi also expressed full agreement with her whole body, seemingly disliking Kwon Ho-jun equally.
“It was strange from the start how he accommodated everything, unlike our guild master. Has the honeymoon phase ended?”
I was the only one here worrying about their problem.
Of course. Because it’s my fault.
My anxiety must have shown, as Lee-han, sitting across from me, came over and grabbed my shoulder.
“Are you not feeling well? You look a bit pale.”
Just then, my phone, which had been repaired and returned, rang, and I stood up while lowering Lee-han’s hand.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll just go to the bathroom for a bit.”
“Want me to go with you?”
“Why would you go to the bathroom together? We’re not kids.”
To calm my churning stomach, I gargled with water and looked in the mirror. Fortunately, there wasn’t much difference from usual. I wasn’t too emaciated, nor did I look depressed. I needed to maintain this normal state at least until this quest was over.
After finally fixing my hair, I went outside to find Halo leaning against the wall. Judging by his posture, he didn’t seem to be planning to use the bathroom, but rather looked like he had been waiting for me.