The Way of Life for a Terminal S-Class Hunter - C39
$39
***
After finishing the meal, I got up saying I would go home soon. Lee-han, who had been asking me to stay one more day, followed me to the entrance and held me back.
“Rest more before you go.”
“No, I need to work too. Thanks for making calls on my behalf.”
Still, not as much time had passed as it felt. I thought I had been asleep for a week, but only about 3 days had passed. Lee-han said he had contacted the guild saying I was taking leave due to personal matters.
“Hyung. You won’t tell, right?”
Lee-han asked, as if holding me back as I was about to open the door and leave.
“There’s nothing more to talk about. Why?”
I recalled Lee-han being suspicious about the reason for my illness. While knowing better than anyone what he was curious about, I pretended not to understand. Lee-han’s initial insistence on getting a plausible explanation seemed to have subsided, perhaps because I had fully recovered.
“Okay for now. Take care. Don’t overwork yourself again.”
Lee-han spoke in a jumble, seemingly uncomfortable with the casual speech. I didn’t bother pointing it out, since I also needed time to get used to Lee-han’s new way of speaking.
“Hyung.”
Lee-han called out to me once more. It was really hard to leave this house. I turned around with a “What now?” expression, and Lee-han spoke seriously.
“I’m just playing along again now. I’ll wait for you to tell me everything as it is.”
I had no choice but to remain silent.
Should I tell him that I don’t have much time left to live, even if I don’t talk about my skill?
It was difficult to choose which option would be better for Lee-han.
Should I pretend to leave suddenly and make him believe I’m alive somewhere? Would that be more cruel hope?
For the first time, I wondered how to explain death to someone other than Seo-heon. Because not many people liked me this much.
Death had accompanied me like a time bomb. In fact, I hadn’t really feared it much.
I had almost died once before.
On that hazy day I try to recall, we were in battle, and I threw myself in harm’s way, risking my life because I was afraid Seo-heon might get hurt. In my memory, Seo-heon was furiously angry and acted coldly like ice from the next day.
It seemed like something went wrong from that time. But even when I try to recall that battle, the hunters’ responses and the situation were such a mess that my memory cuts off like a broken radio.
“Thank you.”
I managed to break free from my reminiscence. Then I said goodbye to Lee-han, who was still holding me back, and went outside.
The outside air was cool. The road was clean, as if the rain had washed away everything that had piled up. My mood for going to work after two days was quite clear to match.
And as soon as I left the dormitory, a familiar doll stopped me.
“Woo-hyun. You weren’t answering your phone.”
The voice that always shook me came riding on the wind. Admirably, my heart had become more courageous and stronger than last week when it shook helplessly. Still, I couldn’t do anything about the trembling that felt like a young bird not yet ready to be born touching the inside of its egg.
“Yeah. My phone broke and I forgot to fix it. I sent a few messages to your guild communicator, but you didn’t respond.”
Seo-heon blamed me despite not checking his messages at all.
He’s the one who broke the promise, but anyone looking would think it was me.
I was really curious about the source of his confidence. And I was also the one who always gave in with a smile.
I even liked that shamelessness, didn’t I.
“I heard you took leave because you had something to do. And Lee-han relayed it, not you directly.”
“Yeah. I guess that was passed on to you? I had some personal matters.”
Seo-heon was showing signs of being subtly upset. It’s unlikely he’d be like this just because I missed one day at the guild, but there was no news of anything major happening in the meantime either.
“Why?”
A short question that was difficult to interpret flew in. Today, Seo-heon was making question marks appear frequently.
Seo-heon also told me recently that I’ve been hard to figure out lately.
Maybe we’ve unknowingly accumulated many parts about each other that we don’t know. Those parts might have piled up to become more than what we do know. If so, it was natural to feel questions about each other due to that gap. Time devours everything like a beast with its mouth open. We had forgotten that, immersed in familiarity.
“What do you mean, why?”
The atmosphere was chilly. I wondered if Seo-heon’s coldness was carried on the blowing wind, but soon realized it wasn’t. He was simply in a bad mood.
“Why is he relaying things about you?”
I sighed deeply. If it had been Seo-heon up until now, he would have tactfully apologized for not showing up at the meeting place, but today was strange in many ways.
“Seo-heon. Don’t you have anything else to say?”
“I’ll talk if you answer.”
Seo-heon stubbornly held his ground. When he took such an attitude, it was better to assume he had no intention of backing down. So I decided to just give up rather than continue the conversation.
Originally, Seo-heon had also tried to contact me but was just unlucky, so there was no need for an apology. I couldn’t resent being pushed down in priority or blame the fact that the feelings we had for each other had different names.
“I have nothing to answer, so I won’t listen.”
I turned my head away from Seo-heon. It was my own way of expressing my intention.
“Something urgent came up on the day we were supposed to meet. I tried to tell you I couldn’t come, but you weren’t answering your phone so I left a message.”
A rare regretful voice stabbed me from beside my face. Thinking “No way,” I turned to the side to see Seo-heon with a contorted face, having failed to contain his irritation. Emotions overflowed from Seo-heon like water spilling from a broken pot.
“I went to your house after work, thinking you might be upset because of me, but no one was there.”
I’m not sure if he thinks I wouldn’t know what that “something” was, or if he thinks it’s not a problem even if I know.
“Your guild device you left behind was full of my calls, but when I tried contacting your device again, you never answered.”
Unrefined words pulled me into a swamp.
When was the last time I saw him pouring out words like this, as if making excuses?
Not since high school. No matter how many times I went back in time, no more memories came up. That’s why the current situation felt even stranger.
“And then the first thing I heard was that he said you were taking time off. And through an employee at that.”
“I didn’t know you came looking. But there’s no need to contact the guild master just because I’m taking a day off.”
Seo-heon only grew colder. Thanks to that, I naturally spoke rationally as well.
“Am I just the guild master to you? Why do I have to hear news about you from others?”
Seo-heon was running his hand through his hair with a tired face. The invisible wall between us kept getting thicker.
“Then let me ask too. Why do you need to know everything about me?”
“What?”
“We’re not students anymore, Seo-heon. We’re past the age of feeling possessive over friends. There’s no reason for you to be this angry just because we couldn’t contact each other for a day or two.”
I had lost that thing called possessiveness long ago. It was a natural progression since I had lost the right to possess you.
But now I don’t understand why you’re telling me this. I answered with these feelings.
Seo-heon must have subtly felt that I was trying to distance myself. He’s the most perceptive person I know.
“Is that so? Then you, Woo-hyun, made me misunderstand.”
“Why are you saying that?”
“You acted that way. Making me think I had possession of you, and then when I let my guard down, you recklessly throw away your life saying it’s for me. Isn’t that right?”
The timing was exquisite. Seo-heon brought the memory I had just recalled to the conversation table.
A misunderstanding… Right. Maybe my feelings of liking you looked that way.
Since it had come to this, it seemed we needed to gradually unload each other’s emotions before I leave.
I thought Seo-heon wouldn’t look for me anymore unless he needed me.
I thought I was nothing to you anymore. I wish you had kept acting that way. Then you wouldn’t be hurt at all even after my end comes.
Seo-heon suppressed his emotions while saying words that wouldn’t be heard inside.
“I guess I acted in a way that could lead to some misunderstanding since I don’t have many friends. I’ll be careful.”
“If you were going to be careful, you should have done it earlier.”
Our conversation went awry, just like our current relationship. We were no different from gears that didn’t mesh.
Shick-
Suddenly, something pierced through our space and flew towards me. As I instinctively tried to dodge, an ice barrier created by Seo-heon protected me, blocking it before the foreign object could enter the range.
“An arrow?”
Far away, an unfamiliar silhouette, perhaps a new hunter, was rushing over urgently.
“I’m sorry. I was checking the maximum telekinesis range and lost control. I’m really sorry.”
I had no intention of scolding the newcomer who was apologizing with a pale face from afar. Judging by the fact that there wasn’t even a crack in Seo-heon’s ice barrier, even if it had hit me, it probably wouldn’t have left a single wound.
“It’s okay.”
“Still, I’m really sorry.”
Seo-heon, who hadn’t even been looking at the apologizing person, reluctantly opened his mouth when he continued apologizing in a shrinking voice.
“You should be careful.”
I also flinched, reminded of our conversation just now.
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s fine, you can go now.”
As I was watching the hunter who kept looking back nervously even as he left, Seo-heon spoke again.
“Woo-hyun, those are the things you need to be careful of.”
Seo-heon paused before continuing.
“Don’t try to be careful with me. Ever.”