The Way of Life for a Terminal S-Class Hunter - C1
$01
400 days left until death.
Most people would feel terror seeing this phrase. However, the fact that I didn’t have much time left to live wasn’t anything new to me.
From a certain day, I became aware of how much lifespan I had left. It was because I had a skill that could only be used by burning my life force.
“How much life force do you have left?”
Lee Hye, one of the healers of Ihwa Guild, looked at me nervously while clicking her pen. If she hadn’t been a hunter with the skill to detect abnormal conditions, I wouldn’t have revealed this secret.
Lee Hye, who learned the secret alone, started acting as a confidant without me even asking. Whenever she saw me, her eyes filled with worry, which made me feel guilty.
“Ten years.”
I didn’t want to unnecessarily burden her. As I skillfully told the lie, Lee Hye murmured, trailing off, “Ten years…”
Even though I had greatly exaggerated the number to reassure her, a darker shadow fell over Lee Hye’s face. The plan seemed to have failed.
“Shouldn’t we tell Guild Master Kang Seo-heon about this?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at those words.
Lee Hye seemed to think that if we just explained it well, Seo-heon would find a way to save me. But that was something you could only say if you didn’t know Seo-heon at all.
It was last year, right after we had finished a large-scale battle. We were exhausted and sat on the stone floor to catch our breath.
[Seo-heon, what would you do if I told you I only had 10 years left to live?]
Looking back now, I don’t know why I asked such a question. At that moment, I might have harbored a small, weak hope like a sprout.
I foolishly thought, ‘After 15 years of maintaining our friendship, wouldn’t I have at least a small place in his heart?’
[Oh my.]
Seo-heon gently tidied my hair and smiled bitterly. His sigh was full of regret, and my heart swelled with expectation. If he showed even a hint of sadness, I thought I might develop a desire to live longer.
[Then the difficulty of the subjugation missions 10 years from now will increase a bit.]
He was serious. His cold eyes told me so.
‘Was my value only in lowering the difficulty of subjugation missions by one level, nothing more, nothing less?’
I wasn’t a child who only learns that fire is hot by touching it, but foolishly, I only realized after hearing his answer. There was only one person who could enter Seo-heon’s heart, and it wasn’t me.
[That’s so like you.]
I forced myself to speak, turning my eyes away from the shattered pieces of expectation that had burst in an instant.
[Why would you suddenly make such a joke? It hurts my feelings.]
I nodded awkwardly, forcing a smile.
[I know. This subjugation must have been quite difficult. Suddenly, such thoughts come to mind.]
[Don’t carelessly say things like dying or such. It’s unpleasant.]
I don’t remember what I replied. I probably said I understood, or that I was sorry.
I clearly remembered that I had 1000 days of life force left at that time.
“Woo-hyun?”
Finding it strange that I didn’t answer, Lee Hye called out to me. It was rude to be lost in thought with someone in front of me. I quickly pulled up the corners of my mouth and nodded.
“I’ll do that depending on the situation.”
Though I said that, I had no intention of revealing my condition to Seo-heon. If he were to learn about my death, it should be at the funeral. It wasn’t for Seo-heon’s sake. It was the selfish thought that I didn’t want to see him unmoved by my death.
“If you feel any abnormalities in your body, you must come to the infirmary immediately.”
“Yes.”
I had no intention of coming back to the infirmary now. Seeing Lee Hye made me feel guilty.
“Vice Guild Master, hello. I heard you returned yesterday. Shouldn’t you have rested before coming out? You’re too diligent, really.”
As I left the infirmary, guild members who spotted me greeted me with bright faces.
“Hello. I have some things to report. Thank you for your concern.”
I was also glad to see familiar faces after being away from the guild for a week due to a business trip. However, it was difficult for me to speak as casually as the other person. I had tried to fix my shyness, but personality doesn’t change easily.
“I heard your performance this time was no joke?”
“By the way, could you please complain to the Guild Master about stopping these foreign trips? What joy do we have in coming to work without you, Vice Guild Master?”
The friendly guild members responded kindly despite my stiff replies. Creating the least awkward smile I could, I asked the question I had been most curious about since arriving at the guild.
“Thank you. Is Seo-heon inside by any chance?”
“Yes, he’s inside, but…”
Just by their avoidance of a direct answer, the situation was clear. I suppressed a sigh that had risen to the tip of my chin.
“Thank you for letting me know.”
I bowed my head before they could finish their answer and headed towards Seo-heon’s office. After taking two deep breaths, I knocked, and a low laugh was heard from inside. The door opened slowly.
“Come in.”
Seo-heon approached me as I hesitated at the door and gently stroked my face. My heart pounded foolishly.
“Did you return safely without getting hurt?”
“Yes.”
Seo-heon’s voice really sounded like he was worried about me. I wanted to indulge in that sweet illusion, but the world doesn’t roll as one wishes.
“Seo-heon, haven’t you heard that worrying about Woo-hyun is the most useless thing in the world?”
A skylark-like voice shattered the illusion. The owner of the voice was Kwon Ho-jun, Seo-heon’s lover and a guild member.
“That’s true.”
The hand that had touched me moved away mercilessly as if it had never happened.
“Seo-heon.”
I called his name abruptly. Thinking back, it had been a long time since I called him by name like this. At some point, calling him by his two-syllable name became uncomfortable.
The name that came out easily in front of others became shy and hid when it was just us. I was afraid that fragments of emotions I couldn’t hide might be contained in his name.
“What is it?”
Seo-heon’s delayed response to my call was probably for the same reason. After a briefly surprised expression, Seo-heon smiled brightly and answered. His face, handsome enough to be mistaken for a celebrity, shone even more.
“I have something I want to talk about, just the two of us. I was hoping you could spare some time.”
“Gladly. Who am I to refuse?”
Although Seo-heon readily agreed to my proposal, it was clear that he found my words unexpected.
I wish he didn’t have such an attitude of agreeing to everything I say. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have misunderstood and nurtured these feelings.
‘No, it’s foolish to blame others.’
I corrected my thoughts that were spreading in a negative direction. The responsibility for my emotions lay solely with me. From the moment I started actively using skills that consumed life force, I decided that all choices and any consequences were my responsibility alone, and I shouldn’t blame anyone else.
“Should I leave?”
Kwon Ho-jun, who had been sitting quietly on the sofa, scurried over and grabbed Seo-heon’s arm. Due to their size difference, it looked like an animal clinging to a tree.
“I’m sorry. Woo-hyun says he has something to tell me.”
Seo-heon gently detached Kwon Ho-jun and whispered sweetly while matching his eye level. The atmosphere became as if I was interrupting the lovers’ rendezvous. A useless thought briefly crossed my mind that I should stop Kwon Ho-jun from leaving and give up my place instead, but it was quickly erased.
“Alright. But don’t make me wait too long.”
Kwon Ho-jun stood on his tiptoes and kissed Seo-heon’s cheek. I froze stiff, forgetting even to manage my expression.
Seo-heon, perhaps embarrassed by the display of affection in front of a friend, glanced at me while receiving the cheek kiss. It was impossible to pretend to be unbothered. So I turned my head away, escaping that gaze. The sticky gaze fell away slowly.
“Okay.”
After Kwon Ho-jun left, satisfied with the answer, an awkward silence briefly fell. I was afraid that I might be showing a jealous face that didn’t suit me, but I couldn’t tell what Seo-heon was thinking.
A chestnut bur with sharp thorns rolled around inside my chest. It was a pain that didn’t become familiar no matter how many times I experienced it.
“Come here.”
As usual, it was Seo-heon who ended the silence. He naturally took my hand and sat me down on the sofa.
“I wonder what business brings the cold-hearted Baek Woo-hyun, who’s always busy avoiding me, to seek me out first?”
Who’s cold-hearted? It was so absurd that I couldn’t help but laugh. As I struggled to open my mouth, Seo-heon stood looking down at me. His eyes, which had turned blue upon awakening, sparkled like the midsummer sea reflecting light. Looking at that made my heart flutter like a small boat on surging waves.
“You sit down too.”
“Why are you being so hesitant? It’s scary, wondering what you’re going to say.”
After confirming that Seo-heon sat down opposite me, I handed him the paper envelope I had carefully placed in my bag. Seo-heon received the envelope with a sullen expression, not even taking out its contents, and placed it on the desk, tapping it with his finger.
“What is this?”
“It’s my resignation letter.”