The Country Life Diary of a Gangster's Secretary - c98

When he opened his eyes, an unfamiliar ceiling came into view. For a moment, he wondered where this place was, but as memories of last night came back one by one, Hyeseong loosened his body again. After exploding at Ihyeok yesterday, he had come to his aunt’s house looking for a place to go.

When he turned his head, an old clock he had seen even as a child was already pointing to well past 11 o’clock. He must have overslept without realizing it because he was so tired yesterday. Hyeseong let out a short sigh and closed his eyes tightly. It was still a bit hard because his heart ached and hurt.

“Shouldn’t we slowly wake Hyeseong up? If he keeps sleeping, he’ll be hungry.”

Then, his uncle’s voice came through the slightly open door.

“Oh, it’s fine. Let’s just let him sleep deeply.”

His uncle insisted on waking Hyeseong up, saying he wanted to feed him lunch on time, and his aunt started arguing, saying to just leave the tired kid alone. Hyeseong chuckled without realizing it and began to tidy up the blanket.

When he came out, the two who were bickering in the kitchen widened their eyes upon seeing Hyeseong.

“When did you wake up? Sleep some more.”

“Just now. I slept plenty enough.”

“Hyeseong-ah, wash up quickly and come out. Your aunt is preparing food so much that the table legs might break.”

“Yes, Uncle.”

Hyeseong, who had entered the bathroom, stroked his still swollen eyes. He felt like he had been crying a bit too often these days. He didn’t shed a single tear when he was young and should have cried.

When he washed his face with cool water and came out, a stimulating smell was really wafting from the kitchen. When he went inside, the food filling the table dazzled his eyes.

“Auntie, I can’t eat all this.”

“Just sit down first. Once it’s in your mouth, it’s meant to all go in.”

Hyeseong sat down, scratching his head. It seemed like starting from lunch today, his stomach wouldn’t be empty.

Having barely finished his portion, Hyeseong headed straight back to the blanket. Why was he so sleepy? Although he didn’t know if it was because he wanted to escape from reality, he kept wanting to sleep. Of course, his phone still hadn’t been turned on even once in the meantime. 

When he woke up well past 3 o’clock in the afternoon, his aunt was sitting at the living room table reading a book. Thinking the subtle scent of tea was nice, Hyeseong approached her.

“You’re awake?”

“Yes, I keep getting sleepy. I was going to help you two with work.”

“It’s fine.”

His aunt closed the book with a playful smile. It was the detective novel Hyeseong had read before.

“But where’s Uncle?”

“He went out for a bit with the neighborhood men. When he came home, he took everyone out saying he’d wake you up from sleep, really.”

“I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“What are you sorry for? Your uncle has been bragging about his child coming home after a long time anyway.”

Hyeseong laughed along with his aunt. But what was really important was missing from that laughter. His aunt carefully stroked Hyeseong’s hand and opened her mouth.

“Hyeseong-ah, do you remember when you were young? From elementary school, you never threw a tantrum or said you didn’t like something.”

Rather than doing it on purpose, it was a tendency learned early on. In a way, it was fortunate that the two had taken in him who had lost his parents. If it weren’t for them, Hyeseong might have had to wander around places like facilities as an orphan at that age. 

So he thought he shouldn’t cause trouble and had an obsession with growing up properly from a young age.

“On the day the school teacher contacted us saying you fought with a classmate and must be feeling very bad, do you know what you told your aunt?”

“What did I say?”

“You didn’t say anything. Both that you had a fight with a friend at school and that you were upset.”

Did something like that happen? Come to think of it, because of his slightly rigid and inflexible personality, he had experienced some minor troubles a few times at school where he was with immature same-age peers.

“I thought Hyeseong would tell me someday. Because you never said you were upset or having a hard time at all.”

“I… didn’t really have any hard times. Not enough for you to worry.”

Then his aunt’s mouth turned bitter.

“This kid. When you must have been struggling with college tuition and didn’t contact me even once, I was really disappointed, you know?”

“…You knew?”

His aunt held his hand tightly without a word. That’s why they say you can’t deceive parents. It seemed his aunt had deliberately not shown it or sent money, considering Hyeseong’s personality. If she had done that, Hyeseong might have felt hurt or had an unnecessary sense of debt.

“So, to be honest, I was a bit happy when you came to see me yesterday, Hyeseong-ah. The kid who never came to me saying he was having a hard time even after turning 20 came to find me.”

Hyeseong hung his head low. He felt pathetic for coming to see them after merely experiencing a breakup.

“Hyeseong-ah.”

“Yes.”

“You can stay here as long as you want before leaving. You know that, right? We’re always on your side.”

Hyeseong had no intention of saying why he had come here. That he had someone he immensely loved, but it was hard to completely cut off those feelings, so he had broken down like this. And so he had come.

“…Yes.”

But someday, even if not now, he made a promise to himself to definitely tell his aunt about these feelings he had suppressed deep inside.

* * *

The phone rang briefly. Ihyeok reached out his hand and fumbled around.

[Hey, are you sick or something? Why aren’t you coming to the office?]

After lightly ignoring the text sent by Kang Seongjin, Ihyeok slowly got up. The Seoul house he was visiting after a long time was literally a mess. Various liquor bottles rolling around and clothes strewn about. Glass cups were shattered at some point, with shards scattered all over the place. 

Ihyeok stared at the scene for a moment, then picked up his phone as if possessed and pressed a familiar number.

– The customer’s phone is turned off…

“Damn it!”

Ihyeok slammed his fist on the table. Bottles on top fell down one after another from the impact.

It had been since yesterday. All contact with Hyeseong was cut off.

Blankly watching Hyeseong turn his back and leave, saying he hoped he wouldn’t follow, Ihyeok quickly came to his senses and chased after him.

But Hyeseong swiftly got into a taxi and disappeared, and by the time he brought his car, he had long vanished. Since Hyeseong had turned off his phone, he went straight down to Seo-in City to find his house, but all that greeted Ihyeok was the cold air and the faint, familiar pheromones lingering weakly inside the house.

“Hah.”

Ihyeok leaned his body against the sofa, letting out a deep sigh. Hyeseong had disappeared. In front of him, at that. Even if he tried to search all the places he might go, he couldn’t think of any places Hyeseong would often visit in the first place. 

A sense of helplessness suddenly came over him. What did he even know about Hyeseong? He felt miserably pathetic for not being able to think of a single place the kid would go.

He immediately called Dohyun as well, but all he heard was that Hyeseong hadn’t even contacted him, let alone gone there.

When he closed his eyes, all he could think of was Hyeseong’s face, hurt and shedding tears, making him feel like he was going crazy. He felt like he would really do something if he didn’t at least drink. 

He had no intention of hurting Hyeseong at all. Even more so, no intention of making him cry. In the first place, yesterday’s conversation had taken a completely different turn from what Ihyeok had thought and expected.

If Hyeseong didn’t reveal himself being an omega, he had no intention of waiting any longer. Ihyeok realized what form these feelings he had with Hyeseong for 6 years had actually taken and stayed within him, so he embraced Hyeseong who was in heat.

He had intended to take responsibility and wanted to keep him by his side. He wanted to touch him whenever he wanted, have conversations, give him all the expensive and nice things, and love him.

Like an idiot, he had gone around and around without realizing his own feelings, but even if it was a bit late, he still wanted to cherish that kid now.

<I was the one who spent your rut with you.>

But the whole situation began to flow in an unexpected direction. The reality of the memories he had arbitrarily forgotten and then.

<Who would want to burden the person they’ve had a one-sided love for for nearly 6 years like that?>

Hyeseong’s feelings that he had failed to look back on. The heart that Ihyeok had dismissed as just a precious younger brother and didn’t look into, Hyeseong had noticed early on and had been cherishing it. Quietly and inconspicuously, he had been loving on his own without being flashy.

“I was such a damn piece of trash.”

Ihyeok uttered a self-deprecating remark. With what kind of heart had Hyeseong been treating him all this time? The moment he became aware of his love, he felt like this, unable to control it and feeling like he would explode and in pain, so how long had that kid endured it?

One side of his heart felt numb. The sensation he was experiencing for the first time in his life was sheer agony. Ihyeok picked up his phone again. There was no hesitation in his fingers as he searched for the number.

Hyeseong had clearly said it. To talk later. Cutting off all means of contact and disappearing was a first this time, and that could be interpreted as not showing himself for the time being.

If he were an adult, the right thing to do would be to wait for Hyeseong to gather his heart and calmly attempt a conversation. 

– Yes, hello…

“Deok-soo-ya, I have a favor to ask.”

Yes, if he were an adult.

– What is it?

“Hyeseong has disappeared. I need to find him.”

I’m sorry, Hyeseong-ah, but I don’t think I can be a good adult. If you hide with determination, I intend to find you with determination. Even if you say you’re sick of me and want to escape, I can’t let you do that now.

Ihyeok ended the call and slowly got up from the sofa. His heart still felt heavy, as if a heavy stone was weighing on one corner of it.

And Ihyeok knew. That all of this could only be resolved by having Cheon Hyeseong completely.