The Country Life Diary of a Gangster's Secretary - c101
This chapter is paid for by Nemuru!
Predators like lions and tigers don’t run away when faced with herbivores. They had the strength to catch and eat them without losing, and it was their instinct to fill their stomachs that way. It was a natural law of nature.
Probably, predators wouldn’t choose to give up on such prey right in front of them. There was no need to. It was natural to eat them.
Cheon Hyeseong was like that too. Since meeting Kwon Ihyeok, he had never once thought about it. For instance, that he might have the same feelings as himself.
Like the natural law that was taken for granted, it was an obvious matter for Hyeseong too. It was in the same context as a newborn baby instinctively being drawn to its mother, or humans eating when it’s time and sleeping when tired.
He couldn’t think otherwise, and questions like “Why? Could it possibly be different?” were not allowed.
He wasn’t sure about the reason or process that led to such thoughts taking root. Perhaps it was possible because he knew Ihyeok’s behavior and views on relationships well.
But now, as this man hugged him with the strongest force yet trembled as if afraid, Hyeseong suddenly had this curiosity.
“Ahjussi… I was wondering.”
Hyeseong never thought such words would come out of his mouth.
“Do you… do you like me?”
It was so awkward that he stumbled over his words once before managing to complete a proper sentence. Then, the trembling he felt from Ihyeok gradually subsided. He loosened his grip on Hyeseong’s arms and pushed his shoulders away.
“…”
Ihyeok was staring down at Hyeseong. It was a bit difficult to interpret what that gaze meant. Unfortunately, as everything around was dyed in night, it was impossible to gauge his intentions.
How does Aunt live in such a dark neighborhood? Hyeseong scratched his head, feeling embarrassed for having blurted out those words. He hadn’t properly organized what he wanted to say yet, but he never imagined the conversation would lead in this direction.
Hah, then Hyeseong heard Ihyeok’s short sigh above his head. Although it was a very soft voice, it was relatively easy to hear because the surroundings were quite quiet. At the same time, Hyeseong felt his heart drop with a thud.
What had he just said? What kind of thought had he had? It seemed that everything he had felt from Ihyeok was just his own misunderstanding.
Hyeseong was glad there wasn’t a single streetlight around. Otherwise, Ihyeok might have seen his face reddened with shame.
“Ah… I’m sorry. Please forget what I just said. It was unnecessary. I…”
“I love you.”
“…What?”
“I love you, Hyeseong.”
Hyeseong slowly raised his head. At that moment, he thought he understood what it meant to feel like your breath was about to stop.
Ihyeok was looking at him. His eyes were strangely sparkling. Like the starry night sky above. It was a face he had never seen before. He looked like he might cry, or as if he had gotten rid of everything that had been frustrating him and felt relieved.
Above all, what could be felt from those eyes was preciousness. It was a face like someone looking at the most precious person in this world.
“…”
The moment he faced that expression, Hyeseong slowly began to regain his senses.
“Ahjussi, what are you… Um, I think I must have misheard something. That…”
“I realized it too late. How I feel about you.”
Ihyeok carefully took Hyeseong’s hand. The times he had taken Hyeseong’s hand first could be counted on one hand.
Of course, there was no occasion to hold hands when working as his secretary, and only a few times in college. Even then, it was only when treating an injured hand or suddenly appearing at a college festival to pull him out of the crowd.
Hyeseong remembered those few moments as clearly as if they had happened yesterday. More precisely, he hadn’t forgotten the moment and the sensation of Ihyeok holding his hand on those days. However, this warmth that Ihyeok was giving now was quite different from then.
“I don’t quite understand what you’re saying. So you’re saying you… like me…?”
Hyeseong asked again with a dumbfounded expression. No matter how many times he heard it, it was a statement he couldn’t get used to.
Who would have dared to imagine such words coming from that mouth? At least Hyeseong didn’t know. He never expected that after a big fight and disappearance, the words he would hear from the other person would be a confession of love.
“You said it yourself. That I hugged you instinctively because I’m an alpha and you were in heat.”
Hyeseong nodded with a blank face.
“Do I look like such a scumbag in your eyes?”
“Then why…”
“Because I like you. I already knew my feelings even before that. I was struggling with how to confess to you. That day too, I didn’t bring up the conversation to interrogate you about being an omega, but to hear the truth from you and confess my feelings.”
He had no idea. So when Ihyeok, uncharacteristically serious that day, asked to go eat and take a walk, it wasn’t with the intention he had thought?
“Of course, I had no intention of embracing you without permission just because I liked you when you were in heat.”
Ihyeok continued speaking, his face now much calmer than before. Even as he spoke, he didn’t forget to pull up Hyeseong’s cardigan that was slipping down to keep him from getting cold.
“I feel sorry about that, but… I couldn’t help it.”
“What, what do you mean?”
“That day… you were so…”
Ihyeok sighed deeply again and rubbed his face.
“You were so sexy… so beautiful that I couldn’t not touch you.”
Hyeseong bit his lip hard. The fact that such words kept coming out of Ihyeok’s mouth seemed too unreal.
Yeah, could this be a dream? Was he finally going crazy and creating an unfulfilled fantasy in the form of a dream using his subconscious?
“I did it all prepared. I’ll take responsibility. Although the order got a bit messed up, I was going to confess properly too. If you didn’t accept me, I was planning to keep you by my side by any means necessary.”
Ihyeok added that on that day, he was surprised because the conversation went in an unexpected direction and he didn’t know anything about Hyeseong’s feelings regarding the rut incident.
Slap!
Hyeseong, who had been quietly listening to Ihyeok’s words, suddenly opened both palms and slapped his cheeks loudly. Ihyeok’s eyes widened in surprise.
“What are you doing!”
Ihyeok grabbed Hyeseong’s cheeks and lifted them up. It was always a clean and pale skin, but now the slapped areas were tinged red.
“It’s… not a dream.”
“Hyeseong.”
“Ahjussi, if you’re doing this because you feel guilty towards me, you don’t have to tell such lies.”
“What?”
“If you’re saying this because you feel sorry about my heat and what happened with your rut in England… I’m saying it’s okay.”
The conclusion Hyeseong drew from Ihyeok’s words was utterly nonsensical, but in a way, it was an unavoidable thought for Hyeseong.
While that love confession seemed unrealistic, if this wasn’t really a dream, what if Ihyeok was saying non-existent words and trying to take responsibility because he felt sorry and guilty for bringing things to this point? He disliked that even more.
It would probably feel a bit pathetic.
“Hyeseong, did you hear what I just said properly?”
“Yes. I heard it, but… I don’t understand.”
“What exactly?”
“The part where you said you like me.”
“What’s so hard to understand about that?”
Hyeseong averted his gaze. He wasn’t sure if it was incomprehensible or unfamiliar. But he really couldn’t believe it.
Rather, he couldn’t bring himself to believe it. To put it bluntly, it felt like standing at the edge of a cliff and being told by someone next to him that there’s a path ahead, so try moving forward.
Hyeseong was confused. He had always thought there was only one path to choose, one way to go. He had walked hard, sat down at times, stopped and turned back, but now suddenly another path that had been hidden appeared before his eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was a place he could walk on, or if it was really a path at all.
The scene of Ihyeok whispering love to him was unbelievable. It was strange.
“Because there’s no way you could like me…”
Ihyeok finally understood. That Hyeseong had never once made such an assumption.
That’s why, no matter how much he poured out his true feelings face to face, he couldn’t easily believe it. This attitude probably stemmed from having harbored a secret love alone for as long as six years.
Thinking about it that way, his heart ached with a tingling pain. While wondering how this usually sharp kid had come to adopt such a passive attitude, he also felt furiously angry realizing that he was the culprit who had made him this way.
How long had he left the kid to simmer alone? Why hadn’t he noticed his feelings earlier? He didn’t think he had ever been so angry with himself as he was these days.
“Hyeseong. Listen carefully.”
“Yes.”
Even in this situation, his proper responses were hopelessly cute.
“Do you know what I think when I look at you usually?”
“How would I know?”
“I think about wanting to touch you and hug you.”
Hyeseong’s eyes widened again. Ah, his earlobes seemed to have reddened a bit too. Even that embarrassment, as he looked around to see if anyone was there, was lovable.
“When you blush like that, I can’t think of anything but wanting to bite and suck your lips.”
“Wait, Ahjussi! We’re outside!”
“I just want you to smile at me, and if I could, I’d like to stop you from contacting that bastard Park Dohyun. I want you to have only me, to look only at me. Just like I do.”
Ihyeok poured out words to Hyeseong directly, without pausing or stuttering, with a calm face.
“Does it still look like I’m lying? Does it look like I’m pretending to be a kind adult trying to be considerate of you?”
“B-but for six years, you never said anything like this, not even once, and you never showed any signs…”
“That’s because I didn’t know then. That I was in love with you. If you want, I can tell you more, show you more. If only you can believe it.”
Hyeseong gulped. His pupils shook greatly. It seemed like his head was overloaded with a large amount of information hitting him all at once.
“I…”
Just then, a car slowly approached from the side. The car’s lights illuminated where the two were standing, and it gradually came to a stop next to the house, then the engine turned off.
“Hyeseong?”
“A-Aunt.”
The aunt who got out of the car was looking back and forth between Hyeseong and Ihyeok with a puzzled expression.
This chapter is paid for by Nemuru!