81. If the Truth Cannot Save Us 1

At Clint’s question, Psyche was so shocked that she covered her mouth with both hands.

The small, worn leather pouch.

It was unmistakably hers, something she couldn’t pretend not to recognize.

She couldn’t understand how the contraceptives she made ended up in his hands.

She had been so careful, and it should have been difficult for him to even identify it as a contraceptive in the first place.

However, judging by his expression, it was clear that he already knew everything.

“Clint… how did you…”

“How could you do this to me?”

Clint suddenly raised his voice.

Psyche’s face contorted with distress.

“What should I do with you?”

In a self-mocking tone, Clint threw the leather pouch to the floor.

Psyche was bewildered.

She hadn’t anticipated that things would escalate to such a catastrophe before they even had a chance to talk.

Everyone knew that Clint was a man obsessed with having an heir, and contraceptives were unthinkable for him.

“Clint, I understand why you’re angry. But at least listen to my side.”

“Did you have fun deceiving me all this time?”

It seemed Clint wasn’t listening to Psyche at all.

He had believed in Psyche.

He had hoped that she would believe in him too.

Even if he couldn’t expect complete trust or faith, he had wished that she would rely on him at least half as much as he trusted her.

Was he that unreliable as a man?

Of course, he knew from the beginning that their relationship didn’t start with trust.

At first, he needed a woman to fend off Rachel.

Noblewomen in the capital didn’t want to oppose Rachel, so he needed a woman who knew nothing, someone who would just fill the position of the Duchess.

He thought it would be better if she had no family to return to. Desperate people tend to cling more to their positions.

Moreover, having no family meant fewer entanglements of interest, making it cleaner from Clint’s perspective.

He didn’t want to rely on the woman’s family, given his status as a duke.

In that sense, Psyche was the perfect fit for the role.

Even though she was driven to the edge, she didn’t seem desperate, which wasn’t what he had initially wanted, but Clint admired her dignified demeanor.

Psyche was…

A beautiful woman.

Her cold, moon-like silver hair and gentle appearance. She exuded a charm that was both cold and warm at the same time.

Anyone would praise her as a beauty. Her pale pink eyes, which matched her silver hair, reminded one of a lake under a setting red sun.

Her deep, intense eyes, like red jewels set in her white, clear skin, and her delicate frame created a mysterious atmosphere.

But it wasn’t just her appearance that Clint liked.

Her dignified attitude despite having nothing, her appropriate humility that didn’t look down on herself. These qualities made her seem more noble than any noble in the capital.

Perhaps that’s why he liked her from the day they first met.

Not just because she perfectly met the conditions he was looking for.

“I lost my parents when I was young too.”

Clint felt an inexplicable feeling as he listened to the woman speak calmly about her tragic past.

Was it a sense of shared suffering?

Although Clint himself didn’t realize it, he had been drawn to her from their first meeting.

That feeling soon transformed into a possessiveness, a desire to keep her close.

He didn’t understand the source of this emotion, but he knew he wanted her.

So, when he learned that Rachel intended to harm Psyche, he tried to protect her in his own way.

And…

He found it easy to see traces of his mother in Psyche.

In truth, they weren’t alike at all.

Yet, for some reason, Clint thought of his mother.

The woman who was his first love, who he desperately wanted to look at him.

But who had never once looked at him, the cold-hearted woman known as his mother.

Thinking of her, Clint closed his eyes tightly.

It felt like the past tragedy was repeating itself in his life.

His vision went black, and then he felt as if he was returning to reality.

How had things come to this point?

He couldn’t express his dismay to anyone, so he just clenched his fists tighter.

How old was he back then?

Around nine years old?

That time, long past, felt like a distant memory.

However, the events of that day were so vivid that he could recall them clearly even now.

At nine years old, a boy who hadn’t yet matured, he felt like he was facing the biggest dilemma of his life, feeling as if he would die from it.

He couldn’t sleep or eat as he worried, and eventually, he decided to confess the truth to his father, the Duke.

He believed it was the only and best choice he could make.

On his way to the study of his father, the previous Duke, the words his father had repeated to him endlessly echoed in his mind.

“You will be a Duke one day, so conduct yourself properly.”

“Wherever you go, don’t do anything that would bring shame upon you.”

These were words he heard every day.

The previous Duke wasn’t a particularly kind father; in fact, he was very strict.

Even though Clint was the rightful heir to the Valentia Dukedom, his father never truly acknowledged him.

It was because Clint’s mother wasn’t a noble.

The previous Duke’s marriage was a significant scandal in noble circles. The fact that the Duchess wasn’t a noble was a major issue. When the previous Duke was still a young lord, he fell in love at first sight with a woman while out for a breath of fresh air.

They had a passionate love affair and, despite the strong opposition because she was a commoner, they married.

But unfortunately, their love didn’t last forever.

His commoner mother couldn’t understand the Duke, who was always busy with his duties, and she didn’t fit in with the noble ladies.

“Your mother always tries to cling to my heels, unable to do anything on her own.”

“I hope you don’t inherit that trait from her. You can’t become a Duke with such a weak attitude.”

The Duchess, lonely, clung to her relationship with the Duke, and as a reaction, the Duke distanced himself even more.

When the Duke attended parties alone, the Duchess would be in tears, clinging to him when he returned. Her tears were mostly due to her suspicions.

However, the Duke despised scandals and never kept mistresses or concubines.

High-ranking nobles keeping mistresses or concubines would cause significant social upheaval, so he avoided it. But the Duchess’s constant lament about love seemed tiresome to him.

“It’s tiresome. Knowing the truth changes nothing.”

“The truth? The truth is that I no longer have any affection for my wife. Does that make you feel better?”

He didn’t hesitate to hurl insults at the Duchess and often belittled her instead of comforting her.

And this attitude naturally extended to Clint.

From a young age, Clint felt the pressure to satisfy both his parents.

His mother projected her unmet love for the Duke onto Clint for surrogate satisfaction, while the Duke had fits whenever Clint showed any traits he deemed unworthy of a noble.

Clint always felt like he was precariously balancing on the edge of a cliff.

The feeling that one misstep would send him plummeting haunted him every night and every morning.

The issue was something Clint witnessed a few days ago.

He had been practicing swordsmanship late and was returning to his bedroom from the training grounds.

On his way to return the horse he had ridden during his morning riding lesson to the stable, he heard the sound of a man and a woman laughing.

At first, he thought he had misheard. But as he got closer to the stable, he could hear their intimate conversation clearly.

And unbelievably, the woman’s voice was his mother’s.

The coquettish laughter and seductive conversation were unbearable to listen to, and even at his young age, Clint instinctively knew their relationship was improper.

Yes, his mother had ultimately been unable to withstand the Duke’s coldness and had an affair with a knight who courted her.

At first, Clint tried to ignore it.

He felt pity for her, wondering how lonely she must have been.

Most of all, even to young Clint, his mother never seemed happy when she was with the Duke.

But in that brief moment, the unfamiliar man’s presence made his mother look happier than ever.

That laughter haunted his dreams, tormenting him.

Clint knew he couldn’t bear this burden alone.

So, after days of agonizing over it, he decided to confess to his father, the Duke.

To prevent his mother’s mistake from bringing disgrace upon everyone, he thought informing his father was the best course of action.

At that time, he believed so.