My straight roommate is so good - Chapter 43

Although he knew rationally that Qiao Song and that man were not familiar, Ling Jianshu still felt a twinge of jealousy in his heart.

If it were before, he would have rushed into the café and taken him away.

But now that Qiao Song didn’t want him to follow, no matter how anxious he was, he didn’t want to add pressure at that moment.

He stood outside the window for a while, finally clenching his fists tightly and forcing himself to leave.

Qiao Song noticed a drastic change in Ling Jianshu’s attitude towards him; he had become exceptionally cold, even to the point of being utterly indifferent.

Although they still lived in the same dormitory, Ling Jianshu hadn’t spoken to him actively like before for days.

Every time he saw him, he always wore a blank expression, his eyes cold, as if he were just a stranger.

One time, when they happened to cross paths on the road, he was about to greet him, but Ling Jianshu didn’t even glance at him and walked straight past.

He felt a deep unease in his heart; after all, Ling Jianshu had treated him so warmly in the past.

But he also felt that all of this was self-inflicted.

It was his own inability to overcome the insecurities and anxieties within himself that had pushed Ling Jianshu away just when they were getting closer.

He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, tossing and turning at night, either suffering from insomnia or repeatedly dreaming that nightmare.

No one loved him.

Ling Jianshu could also be cold to him.

A straight man’s attraction to another man was ultimately short-lived…

All these thoughts twisted around his heart like vines, disturbing him day and night.

No one could bear such days for too long; within two weeks, he fell ill.

At ten o’clock at night, after the practice room closed, he dragged his feverish body back to the dormitory and happened to bump into Ling Jianshu’s chest.

Ling Jianshu stepped back slightly, still maintaining a restrained distance.

Qiao Song felt discomfort in his heart; the tension he had been holding in for days finally broke down, and he fainted.

Just before he fell to the ground, Ling Jianshu caught him.

He reached out and touched Qiao Song’s forehead, feeling the heat radiating from where his palm made contact.

He furrowed his brows tightly and, without saying a word, carried him in his arms and rushed to the hospital.

The emergency room was nearly empty in the deep night, and the doctor quickly diagnosed and examined him. Fortunately, it was just a cold, and he wasn’t in serious condition.

After a busy period, Qiao Song finally had an IV drip and began to slowly recover from the fever. Ling Jianshu watched his pale face, his brows furrowed tightly.

After a while, Qiao Song’s consciousness gradually returned.

He first felt that he was leaning on someone’s shoulder, then slowly raised his head and saw Ling Jianshu’s chiseled face.

“Ling Brother…” Qiao Song murmured, his voice hoarse.

Seeing him awake, Ling Jianshu asked with concern, “How are you? Do you feel better?”

Qiao Song didn’t answer; he just stared blankly at him.

“Don’t tell me the fever has made you silly,” Ling Jianshu teased softly, reaching out to touch his forehead again.

It was only then that Qiao Song felt a sense of reality, realizing that Ling Jianshu was truly by his side.

Perhaps being sick made one vulnerable, or perhaps the tension in his mind had reached its limit; all the heartache that had been suppressed for so long finally burst forth uncontrollably.

Without thinking, he hugged him tightly, using all his strength despite his weakness.

Ling Jianshu stiffened, incredulous, and called out to him, “Qiao Qiao…”

“Ling Brother,” Qiao Song choked, “I’m sorry, I like you. I don’t want to be separated from you.”

“I—” Ling Jianshu was about to say something when Qiao Song interrupted.

“Please let me finish, okay? I’m afraid I won’t have the courage to say these words later.” he almost pleaded with him.

Hearing the tremor in his voice made Ling Jianshu’s heart ache inexplicably.

He nodded, saying, “Okay, I’m listening.”

Qiao Song took a deep breath, finally expressing his true feelings to another person for the first time:

“I’ve never received love from my parents since I was a child. I can’t believe that someone really likes me, especially someone as good as you.

“I’m afraid that one day you won’t like me anymore, and I can’t bear such a result, so I dared not get close to you.

“That day, Jiang Huaijin came to me. In the café, he told me he had loved a straight man, but later that straight man abandoned him. He said that straight men’s feelings for men are just a passing novelty.

“After hearing that, I became even more scared, afraid that you might feel the same way about me, afraid of gaining and then losing, and also afraid of never having gained anything…

“Ling Brother, I really don’t know what to do.”

As he spoke, tears continuously rolled down from the corners of his beautiful eyes, and by the time he finished speaking, Ling Jianshu’s clothes were already soaked with his tears.

Ling Jianshu sensed the love hidden deep in Qiao Song’s heart through the damp atmosphere.

He didn’t know how to describe his feelings at that moment; rather than happiness, it felt more like heartache.

Some say that love is often accompanied by a sense of indebtedness.

For the first time, he felt that he owed someone so much. Even though Qiao Song’s insecurities in childhood were not caused by him, he still regretted not having met the young Qiao Song, not having protected the love of his life from the very beginning.

Fortunately, it was not too late now.

He simply held him in his arms, decisively yet gently making a promise: “Qiao Song, I’ve never thought of leaving you, nor have I ever thought of liking anyone else. From now on, no matter whether you push me away or not, I won’t let you go. You’re the one who said you liked me, so even if you feel insecure, you can only feel that uncertainty in my arms. This way, I can hold you and help you get through it together.”

His determination was like a flame, finally dispelling the lingering gloom.

Qiao Song couldn’t stop his tears, but in his heart, he seemed to find a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in a long time.

As they left the hospital, the two stood on the roadside waiting for a taxi.

It was already very late at night, and the streets were no longer bustling with traffic; the city seemed to have fallen asleep, quiet and gentle.

Qiao Song held Ling Jianshu’s hand and quietly asked him under the dim streetlights, “Ling Brother, so what do we count as now?”

Ling Jianshu suddenly realized something, his fingers tightening, his heart pounding loudly.

He turned to gaze at Qiao Song’s beautiful brows and eyes, softly saying, “I don’t want to put pressure on you, so I want to hear you say it yourself.”

Qiao Song smiled slightly, biting his lip, and softly replied, “Then… how about considering being my boyfriend?”

To Qiao Song’s surprise, Ling Jianshu sighed and said, “Not considering it.”

His heart sank.

But immediately after, he heard Ling Jianshu add, “No need to consider; you have always been my dream come true.”

Qiao Song looked at Ling Jianshu’s earnest confession, suddenly feeling his heart race.

He couldn’t control the fluttering in his heart, standing on tiptoe and gently kissing his boyfriend’s lips.

Ling Jianshu held him tightly, deepening the kiss indulgently before the taxi arrived.

The evening breeze, carrying the breath of spring, swept across the empty streets of Lan City, through the flickering moonlight, and brushed past the lovers.

Qiao Song thought that there couldn’t be a better season than this.

Because from this day forward, he had someone to love.

(The End)