I've Been Possessed, But What If I Get Pregnant First? - Side Story 1
Side Story 1
Time flew by quickly while recovering from childbirth. It passed so fast that I didn’t even notice the seasons changing as winter went by. Experiencing childcare for the first time was much harder than I expected. They say having the baby in the womb is the easiest, and that was truly an unexaggerated fact.
After the baby was born, I couldn’t sleep properly or eat regular meals. Moreover, whenever Ho-ppang was even slightly unwell, my heart felt like it was being torn apart. I often spent nights crying in my hyung’s arms, feeling pained and upset.
“Woo-ah.”
“So cute…”
However, one smile from Yubum washed away all the difficulties. When I met eyes with the child blinking his clear eyes at me, I wished this moment could last forever.
Unfortunately, time didn’t wait as I hoped. Yubum, who was once as small as my hyung’s palm, grew quickly and was already approaching his 100th day. We decided to have a small 100th day celebration next weekend, inviting close acquaintances.
I knew time was passing quickly, but already 100 days? At this rate, we’ll soon be having his first birthday party with him in traditional clothes. I wonder what our Ho-ppang will grab at his first birthday? Seeing Ho-ppang grow so fast made me think of various things.
It would be nice if he grabbed a stethoscope or gavel symbolizing a good job, but since my hyung is already extremely wealthy, I personally hoped he would grab the thread, symbolizing a long and healthy life.
“Ow, oo!”
Lost in thought, Yubum in his car seat let out a small babble.
“Sorry. Daddy was momentarily distracted thinking about something else.”
“Boo-ah…!”
His dumpling-like hands in mittens reached out to grab the rattle. Seeing the child’s gaze fixed on the rattle’s head, I hurriedly turned it on.
Whether he took after my hyung or me, Ho-ppang had a gentle personality and was quiet, rarely crying over trivial matters. Thinking he made a sound because he was tired of waiting made me feel even more sorry and rushed. After fumbling a few times, I finally managed to turn on the rattle.
“Kyaa…!”
The rattle’s head emitted brilliant lights and a beautiful melody flowed out. I couldn’t put it in his hand because of the mittens, but when I brought it in front of Yubum, his beaming face looked delighted.
“Our Yubum is excited.”
“This is Yubum’s favorite song. The Stylish Tomato.”
I told my hyung while taking pictures of Yubum’s beaming smile with my phone. After saving the good photos in a separate folder with hearts, I was wiping the baby’s drool-covered chin when:
“We’ve arrived. Let’s get out now.”
“Ah…”
I looked up at my hyung’s voice and realized we had already arrived at our destination. I had been trying to ignore the heavy feeling since morning by focusing on the child and my hyung, but facing reality now felt overwhelming.
“Boo!”
Ho-ppang, on his first proper outing since birth, seemed to be in a good mood, waving his arms without realizing the rattle had turned off.
Except for Yubum’s hospital visits, we hadn’t gone out once during the past 100 days. I was worried he might catch a cold from the chilly wind, or that sand blown from far-off deserts might negatively affect him, so we stayed home. But we couldn’t stay home forever, and today was an unforgettable day, so we brought Yubum to visit Father’s house.
“You’ve come?”
Father, not missing even the small babble, noticed us and stood up.
“Father, have you been well?”
“Yes. Was the journey here difficult?”
“No, not at all.”
I had seen Father a few times since giving birth, but each time my heart felt heavy. Especially on a day like today, just seeing Father made me feel so sorry that I didn’t know what expression to make. My forced smile trembled.
Father said he already knew about my parents from my hyung. My hyung said he had already received permission and not to worry, but I didn’t want to hide behind him pretending not to know anything. So I came prepared to apologize to Father on behalf of my parents today, but actually seeing him made it difficult for words to come out. To be honest, I was scared. In the end, I let my forced smile drop and sighed inwardly.
“You don’t look well, are you alright? That Kwon Taebeom…”
Tears welled up at his kind gaze looking at me as always. I bit my lip hard and lowered my head, and my hyung behind me put his hand on my back and spoke for me.
“Is everything prepared?”
Knowing my hyung was deliberately changing the subject, Father nodded and stood up, carrying Yubum. My hyung gently stroked my shoulder and then held my hand tightly.
We set off for the nearby columbarium in separate black sedans – Father’s car and my hyung’s. The sky was pouring rain as if mourning Mother’s untimely death.
The columbarium, not far from the city, was quickly reached after a short drive. We followed Father as he walked familiarly towards the building.
“Honey, I’m here.”
Father stopped, holding pure white chrysanthemums in one hand and Yubum in the other. I looked up to where Father’s gaze was directed and saw Mother’s photo for the first time. She was so young. Much younger than I expected.
The guilt I had pushed aside leaked out through my skin again. I couldn’t breathe and a strange sound escaped my throat. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, but my hyung beside me seemed to have heard it.
“Are you okay? Let’s go out for a moment…”
“I-I’m fine…”
I had to apologize today. And I had to ask for forgiveness, saying thank you for giving me my hyung, and that I’m sorry someone like me received his love. I bit my trembling lips hard and took a breath. Then I slowly approached where Mother’s photo was.
Seeing the young face that resembled yet didn’t resemble my hyung made my heart ache terribly. I tried not to cry because even crying felt too sorry, but tears flowed beyond my control.
“I’m sorry, hu… I’m so sorry…”
As I clutched my chest looking at the photo, my hyung’s hand on my shoulder tightened. Receiving his comfort felt too sorry and shameful to Mother, and I just cried. Incomplete words flowed out of my mouth like they were breaking apart, losing their form completely.
“I’m so sorry… hic…”
It felt like my chest was being torn apart. I wanted to ask for forgiveness properly without crying, to apologize on behalf of my parents to my hyung and Father here on this occasion, but tears just kept flowing.
“Child.”
“Father, I’m sorry, hic, I’m so sorry…”
“Yuwon.”
“All I can say is I’m so sorry… But I’m so, so sorry…”
Father approached me as I cried and wiped my tears. His calm face made me cry even more. I was so sorry. I was so sorry for making Father and everyone suffer because of my selfishness. And I was sorry for asking for forgiveness so late like this.
“You’ve had a hard time all this while, haven’t you?”
“…Hic, Father…”
I was afraid Father’s eyes looking at me might hold resentment. That he might be regretting. But Father was still looking at me with warm eyes tinged with sympathy. Father held my hand tightly.
“You’ve been through a lot, child.”
“Why…”
“Sometimes I resent them. It would be a lie to say I never do. But it’s not your fault.”
With those words, Father began a long story. He said that during the time when I had lost all my memories and my hyung was struggling greatly, my hyung came to Father drunk and asked for forgiveness. Seeing his son cry saying his heart wouldn’t beat without me, Father’s heart softened. After slowly revealing this story, Father finally looked at me and spoke.
“So I went to see you once.”
Father’s eyes looking at me seemed to be recalling past memories, focused somewhere else. After blinking for a moment lost in thought, Father soon turned his gaze back to me and held my hand.
“You were kind, gentle, and bright, just as Taebeom said.”
“Hic…”
“Enough to make me want to forgive everything and wish for your happiness with my son.”
“Fa-Father…”
“And how could I not love someone as lovable as you?”
Tears flowed at Father’s infinite love for me. Father must be having the hardest time here, yet every word and action considering me was so grateful.
“Yuwon, you are already my child.”
“Fa-hic-Father.”
“So stop suffering now. I don’t want to see my child in pain anymore.”
Father’s words made me feel comforted about everything. There was still guilt deep in my heart, but his kind words soothing my troubled heart were so warm.
As I cried loudly in Father’s arms, the rain that had been pouring as if through a hole began to stop. As the rain stopped and the clouds cleared, the sunlight that emerged warmly embraced us. It was warm. Warm enough to melt my frozen heart completely.