I've Been Possessed, But What If I Get Pregnant First? - C90
#90
That familiar face was none other than Cha Yuwon. Cha Yuwon was standing next to Kwon Taebeom, looking up at him and smiling brightly. Suddenly my heart sank and I felt my legs go weak. My head became complicated.
‘Kwon Taebeom and… Cha Yuwon knew each other…? Then why…’
Why on earth did he pretend not to know until now?
Kwon Taebeom had never brought up the past to me. If he knew me, no… Cha Yuwon, he would have brought it up at least once, but he never did, not even once…
“Ah… my head, hic.”
Along with the headache, memories I hadn’t experienced surged up, messing with my head. Feeling like someone else’s memories were being forcibly shoved in, I hurriedly leaned against the bed and panted. Then I heard footsteps and hastily stuffed the photo in my hand into my pocket.
“Yuwon!”
As if I poured all my energy into that action, cold sweat formed on my forehead. As I trembled and let out abnormal breaths, Kwon Taebeom approached.
“It hurts… hic, my head, huaa… it hurts…”
Seeing him, the photo of him with Cha Yuwon came to mind and I felt indescribable pain as if my head was shattering into many pieces again. I couldn’t see ahead and didn’t know whose touch was on me. I just writhed, gasping for breath.
“Cha Yuwon…! Fuck.”
Kwon Taebeom hurriedly laid me on the bed as I trembled without being able to properly open my eyes. Breathing into my mouth and rubbing my hands and feet, the dizziness that felt like my breath would stop at any moment receded a bit. With hazy consciousness, I felt him touching me in a flurry.
‘Taebeom. Did you know Cha Yuwon…?’
“Yuwon.”
Through my slightly open eyelids, tears finally flowed out. Looking weakly at the flustered Kwon Taebeom calling me, I conveyed words I couldn’t ask inwardly.
‘The person Cha Yuwon likes, the hyung… was it you Taebeom? The man in Cha Yuwon’s memories then was you?’
“Nan-de, bring Doctor Choi to the main house in Gahyeon-dong. Right now.”
His face, rubbing my increasingly trembling hands, was tainted with worry. I gritted my teeth at the sight of Cha Yuwon reflected in Kwon Taebeom’s eyes. I couldn’t tell if the person he liked was me or Cha Yuwon.
‘Then what should I do…? Where… should I go?’
It felt like my decision to stay here by his side and become their family was all shattering to pieces. If he loved ‘Cha Yuwon’, not ‘me’, I was afraid of his reaction when he found out I wasn’t the real Cha Yuwon.
As if avoiding everything, I entrusted my body to my fading consciousness, ignoring his shouts calling me. I only hoped everything would just be a dream when I opened my eyes and woke up.
***
Although I told Yuwon I would keep it a secret from Father, I couldn’t do so as it was related to Hwarong. So while I went downstairs to answer Father’s summons about matters related to that, Yuwon had collapsed.
Taebeom laid Yuwon, who was panting from respiratory distress, on the bed and calmly examined him as Yoon Seolah had instructed.
Yuwon’s mind was in a precarious state, like loosely tied threads, she said. His distrust of people had deepened from that day’s incident, and he had no self-identity. Therefore, rather than receiving treatment without rapport with a doctor, the conclusion was that it would be better for himself, whom Yuwon trusted and relied on the most, to help him.
“Sigh…”
Taebeom looked at Yuwon’s fingertips, whose breathing finally returned to normal only after losing consciousness. Maybe from scratching the floor while collapsing, there was blood on his fingertips, and the palm of his hand with a bandage on it was also a mess.
“I’ll do this.”
He received the first-aid kit from Doctor Choi, who had approached at some point. Doctor Choi only gave Yuwon an IV and left, and Taebeom familiarly treated Yuwon’s hand.
Yuwon, who was fast asleep, had an expression without a hint of worry.
‘What do I do…?’
‘What should I do now…?’
He recalled Yuwon from the past, turning his back on that small, sobbing face on that snowy day. Yuwon’s youthful face, gripping his clothes and panting with a face that didn’t know what to do, shocked, tore Taebeom’s heart out by the roots.
At that time, he only thought he had to distance Yuwon from himself. Because he knew how much danger it would be for Yuwon to be by his side, he didn’t want to cast a shadow like himself on Yuwon’s life that shone brightly like sunshine.
‘It’s amnesia.’
‘…What did you just say?’
‘It’s an avoidant amnesia due to trauma and defense mechanisms. The memories may return, but they may not, and even if they do, there’s no telling when. The patient’s will is important.’
After going through that, Yuwon ended up erasing Taebeom. The sense of loss from facing Yuwon who couldn’t remember him and their memories was a realm no one could empathize with.
But in that moment, hope bloomed that he could let Yuwon leave him. He thought disappearing from Yuwon’s sight and not appearing before him so he could start anew was for Yuwon’s sake.
So he hid from Yuwon’s sight. Disappearing from his world, he watched over him, hiding in Yuwon’s shadow. It was cowardly, but it was the best choice he could make for the Yuwon he loved.
‘Oh my, child! Yuwon!’
That was until just before seeing Yuwon being carried into the ambulance with a limp body.
‘They say his memories returned.’
It was his fault for unconditionally turning away from Yuwon. He really didn’t know Yuwon’s memories would return while he removed all means for Yuwon to contact him and went on an overseas business trip.
When he belatedly checked his phone screen and saw the missed calls from Yuwon, it felt like his heart was dropping. He immediately headed to Yuwon’s house, but… it was already too late by then.
[Acute drug intoxication]
That was the diagnosis given to Yuwon. That piece of paper felt like it was punishing him. In the end, it was no different from him making Yuwon that way.
At that time, Yuwon’s limp fingertips kept crossing with the current Yuwon’s fingertips, making his head dizzy.
“Taebeom.”
“……”
“Taebeom?”
Yuwon’s brown eyes were looking at him. Taebeom blankly looked at Yuwon, who was calling him while sitting on the bed. Yuwon’s appearance, sparkling in the sunlight as if everything was a dream, seemed like it would disappear like a mirage.
“Taebeom!”
“Ah…”
“Why are you standing there blankly? Am I very swollen?”
He shook his head slightly, watching Yuwon rub his face and tilt his head.
“No, you’re pretty.”
That’s right. Cha Yuwon is by his side. Regardless of the past, regardless of whether Yuwon remembers their bygone days or not, it was enough if Yuwon was by his side. Just that one thing was sufficient.
“There was never a part of you that wasn’t pretty.”
At his words, Taebeom desperately kissed the lips of Yuwon, who blushed and smiled adorably.
***
“Sir, around what time did Taebeom say he’s coming today?”
Today, Kwon Taebeom went to the company for the first time in a while. I heard there was some executive meeting, but when I opened my eyes, Kwon Taebeom had already left the house.
“He said he would try his best to match it before dinner.”
“Okay. I see. Ah, this is big trouble.”
It was a rare time when Kwon Taebeom, who usually doesn’t want to leave my side even one step, was at the company. I had to find my memories. To do that, I had to chase Cha Yuwon’s past.
So I started acting to get a moment alone, but… even with my awkward acting, Mr. Myunghun seemed to fall for it. Making the most troubled face and trailing off, Mr. Myunghun rocked back and forth on his heels, waiting for my answer.
“You see… I left my emergency money at home.”
Of course, even I don’t know the actual existence of that emergency money. If the real Cha Yuwon had made something like emergency money, it’s there, and if not, it’s not.
“I still haven’t given Taebeom a birthday present.”
“Ah…”
“It’s a birthday present after all, so I can’t use Taebeom’s card or Father’s card.”
This time, Mr. Myunghun chewed his lips with a troubled face and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. Just a little more and he might give in…
“That… I heard giving a tie pin as a gift means proposing…”
Fiddling with my fingertips with a shy face, Mr. Myunghun’s eyes were blankly directed at my hands.
“Can’t I go for a bit when it’s right in front of me?”
After collapsing like that last time, Kwon Taebeom didn’t leave my side. If there were documents to handle briefly, he took me to the study, and if there was an inevitable matter, he left other men by my side instead without fail. As expected, Mr. Myunghun also looked troubled and shook his head.
“Well… Sir said to never go outside absolutely… I’m sorry.”
“Then I can’t propose…?”
“……”
“I can’t confess to Taebeom…?”
Mr. Myunghun, who pondered for a moment at my words, eventually surrendered with a sigh.
“Just 5 minutes.”
“Yes, I just need to get the money anyway.”
I blinked my eyes nonchalantly and tightly grasped the container I put in my pocket.
‘I’m sorry, sir.’
I felt heavy-hearted as if I was deceiving the men every time. Inwardly calling the men’s names one by one, I apologized with a heart of atonement. I’m so sorry to the men, but to further develop my relationship with Kwon Taebeom, I had to recover these messy memories.