If you don’t love me, I will die. - Chapter 94

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Edward.

For young Ania, what kind of existence he was, adult Ania couldn’t remember.

Her childhood memories were faint.
Only vague promises or emotions remained.

The joyful stories he told or the vows of marriage.
Those memories lingered in Ania’s mind like small pieces.

But even with those small pieces, he was enough for Ania.

In Ania’s childhood, filled with severe self-loathing and dreadful loneliness, memories with Edward remained the only joy.

So, Edward wasn’t just a handsome man to Ania.
He wasn’t the eldest son of the deeply traditional and honorable knight family Radner.

Women who mistakenly thought they loved Edward for just that one aspect only seemed pitiful and shallow to Ania.

‘Edward isn’t the kind of man you all think he is.’

It was a sort of sense of superiority or perhaps possessiveness.
It was an emotion she couldn’t even explain.

Yet, amidst it all, Ania could understand one thing for certain.

If she couldn’t have Edward, her days of youth, the days that were a ray of light in her suffering, would all fade away irretrievably.

‘You’ll end up loving me anyway.’

To quell the rising anxiety within, Ania looked into the mirror.

Though she often looked into the mirror, the frequency seemed to have increased noticeably.

Seeing her beautiful reflection in the mirror, she couldn’t understand Edward’s actions.

Why wouldn’t he want such a beautiful woman?
Why?
Other men would go to great lengths just to talk to her.

However, unfortunately, Ania couldn’t know.

Human senses only operate around themselves.

Where the body cannot reach, one will not feel.
Where one’s eyes are not, nothing can be seen.

Thus, humans are truly selfish beings.
They can only think of themselves.

“Edward. I can’t do this anymore.”
“…Claire.”
“Don’t call me that way!”

Edward had already broken off five engagements.

To be precise, it wasn’t by his own will but rather at the other party’s insistence to annul the engagement.

“Ania Brontë… What’s with that woman? Why does she keep bothering me everywhere I go?”
“That’s none of my concern.”
“Lies! She told me everything. She said she would harass me for the rest of my life if I didn’t cancel the engagement with you!”
“Claire!”

The response was the slammed door.

“Phew…”

And he let out a deep sigh.

They got together so well.
He was sure it would lead to marriage.

It had to.

As the eldest son of the Radner family, he had to marry and establish independence to gain a foothold in the family.

But Ania Brontë.
What was she thinking?

There was a time in his childhood when he had loved her.

She was such a beautiful girl.

But that was long ago.
It was a time more than sixteen years ago.

It was a pleasant memory for Edward, but it was already a time he couldn’t even remember.

‘Did I ever give her a chance?’

Looking back, he vaguely remembered making a promise to marry her.
They had made a childish promise to love each other forever on the hill where the stars set.

He had dreamed, but that was all.
Ania sincerely accepted the promise from their childhood and wanted to marry him.

“She must be out of her mind.”

But Edward had no intention of marrying Ania Brontë.

Ania was undoubtedly a beautiful woman.
Anyone could call her a beauty.

The Empire praised her beauty to the extent that it became a rumor.
However, after experiencing it firsthand, it was pointless to call it a rumor.

Ania Brontë was truly a woman who could be called a witch.

She wouldn’t hesitate to do anything to get something into her hands…

So Edward had to make a decision.

Though Ania’s actions were frightening, he had to speak up himself.
Until then, Ania wouldn’t give up.

“Lorendel.”

As Lorendel, who was nearby, entered the room and bowed, Edward handed him a letter.

“Deliver this to the Brontë family and come back.”

Finally, he fell for me.
Thinking like that, Ania went to find Edward.

“Ania, I have no intention of marrying you.”
“…What?”

Edward said so before Ania even had a chance to sit down.

Because of that, Ania could only stand there and stare at Edward as if frozen.

“I have no intention of marrying you.”

Edward said as if he wouldn’t say it again, pressing down his emotions as if to force them out.

“Why.”

Ania felt like she might collapse right then and there, but she asked.
At least she felt like she had to hear the reason.

“Do I have to tell you the reason? Really?”
“There’s no reason to refuse me.”
“Are you serious?”

Edward snapped in frustration.

Such an Edward was so unfamiliar to Ania.

It was frightening to see the man who was always kind to her and smile suddenly change like this.

“After ruining my engagement five times, you say you don’t know why? How can you be so shameless?”

What’s wrong with that?

“But Edward, I did it all for you…”
“Please, just…!”
“Those women don’t know you!”
“Don’t say such nonsense.”

Ania bit her lower lip lightly.

“What those women see… is your lineage. Your face and body! But Edward, I don’t need such things. Even if you’re not from the Radner family, I’ll still love you.”

Ania said as if making excuses.

But Edward just silently watched Ania without replying.

Then he sighed.

“Ania, you’re wrong.”
“What?”
“The ones who don’t know me aren’t my fiancées.”

Ania barely managed to suppress the urge to scream right then and there.
No one in the world knew Edward better than herself.

But Edward continued.

“It’s you, Ania Brontë.”
“No!”

Ania screamed. It was the moment when the anxiety she had barely suppressed rose to the surface.

“Only I know how kind you are, how sincere and strong you are, how kind and faithful you are to everyone! Only I know!”

Anxiety began to consume Ania.

“They don’t know. They only like Edward’s face and success.”
“But Ania,”

Edward reached out and grabbed the anxiety with his hand.

“At least those women didn’t try to ruin my life like you did.”

He slowly added details to the sketch that had been faintly outlined until now.

“Did you think I would love you after all that?”

The picture emerged vividly.

“There are many things more important than your appearance in this world. Wake up, Ania.”

Edward doesn’t love Ania.

The title of the work drawn by the anxiety lurking in Ania’s heart was just that.

No one loves you.
No one will remain by the side of such a dreadful human like you.

As Ania faced the closed door and was left alone, she sank to the floor.

And only then did Ania remember.

What all her actions, which she thought were love, truly were.
The deeds she committed were vividly etched in the place where the boiling desires had cooled down like lava.

Edward’s words were not wrong.

All the actions Ania thought were love were nothing but the bitter obsession for Edward.

But in the place where the bitter obsession had thickly lingered, only the misdeeds she had committed remained.

No matter how much she tried to scrub them away, traces remained that couldn’t be erased.

Ania finally realized that once someone’s heart leaves, it cannot be regained.

There would never be another man named Edward in her life.

That fact brought Ania unbearable pain.

To love someone, one must become someone who can even love themselves…

She realized it too late.

Perhaps if Ania Brontë hadn’t been so beautiful, she wouldn’t have been called the Empire’s greatest beauty.
Maybe then the world wouldn’t have treated her like a princess.

Or if Valentine Brontë hadn’t cherished his daughter so much.
Or if her mother hadn’t left her and taught her how to be loved.

Maybe things wouldn’t have twisted this way…
Of course, it didn’t happen like that.

“Just one more time…”

Ania prayed.

She wasn’t usually very faithful, but Ania prayed with all her heart.

“If I could have just one more chance.”

If that happened, she wouldn’t make Edward suffer.

Wrapped in the guise of love, she wouldn’t torment him.

As Ania bowed her head and wept, the world suddenly brightened.
Ania slowly raised her head.

“Ania Brontë.”

A girl was floating in the air.

With blue hair and blue eyes, she asked,

“Do you understand how to love now?”

Who was she?

Ania wondered, but she didn’t have the presence of mind to think about such trivial matters.

“Do you truly love Edward Radner?”

Ania thought.

It was love.
It was definitely love.

But she had been loving him in such a wrong way.

Now that she realized it, she understood it was obsession.
However, beneath the obsession, love still remained, and she regretted only now discovering it.

“I love him.”

She loved Edward.

If she could return before she ruined their relationship, she would do anything to take it.

“Good.”

The girl smiled faintly.

“Ania Brontë, you are a woman worthy of love. Well done.”

With those words, the world began to distort gradually.

Author’s Note:

“If you don’t love me, I’ll die…” Today’s episode marks the end of serialization.