If you don't love me, I will die. - Chapter 84

Northern kingdom.

It’s a land of ice where even snowflakes freeze.
The people living there were called barbarians by the Empire.

And indeed, they were barbaric.
Perhaps it was because living in such a cold place made their hearts as barren as the land.

I headed north in a carriage.
Despite the family servants’ attempts to dissuade me, I pressed on.

I wished I could meet Ania first and talk to her, but the road to the Capital was even more dangerous than the one leading north.

The Empire is strong.

The fall of the Capital was in part due to being caught off guard
But Eldrigan should be able to solve the problems.

The road to the North was quite rugged.

While there were paths within the Empire’s reach, we encountered impassable routes as we neared the Northern Kingdom.

“From here on, we must move discreetly.”

We decided to move covertly from when we arrived in the northernmost territory of the Empire.

Fortunately, we received some good news.
Communications had been restored, and contact with the Capital was reestablished.

Given the circumstances, I couldn’t contact Ania directly. Still, fortunately, it was reported that Ania had managed to reach the palace.

Eldrigan vowed to protect Ania at all costs.

It wasn’t reassuring, but I had no choice but to believe.

For over a week, I slowly made my way north.

We occasionally faced inspections while passing through in the carriage, but with the help of Empire spies hidden in the Northern Kingdom, we managed to evade them.

After spending a long time in the cold… I finally arrived at Duke Yerchevitz’s mansion.

“Here we are.”

True to its name, the duke’s mansion was magnificent and grand.

The colossal fortress erected on the cliff proudly displayed its majesty.

I followed the path winding back along the cliff.

The narrow road, barely wide enough for a carriage, was completely obscured by a heavy snowstorm.

If the coachman made the slightest mistake, we would plummet straight down the cliff.

But I wasn’t afraid.

If I were to meet Duke Yerchevitz and manage to obtain the herb to retrieve my memories…

Actually, I’m not sure. Even if my memories were read, it wouldn’t make me the Edward that Ania loved.

But if I don’t act, nothing will start.

So, riding up the cliff, I arrived at Duke Yerchevitz’s mansion.

“Stop.”

Guards stood there.

“From here on is Duke Yerchevitz’s territory. You can’t enter.”
“Stand aside. I’ve come to meet Duke Yerchevitz.”

The guards asked cautiously at my words.

“…May I ask your name?”
“Edward.”
“…And your status?”
“Viscount Edward Radner.”

The guards’ eyes sharpened.

“An imperial dog?”
“Back off. This is no place for filthy imperial scum to set foot.”

It was the expected reaction, but I already had a plan.

***

Anya Yerchevitz. (TN: Why are all the names so similar.)

A dragon who once ruled the North in the distant past.

During the chaotic times of the continent, she was the mistress of the cold ruling over the North.
But as the Empire rose and peace ensued, she silently watched the world.

The peace she truly desired finally came to the continent.

But human greed knows no bounds.
They waste lives and ignite flames in pursuit of more.

Thus, Anya considered humans to be truly foolish beings.

What’s the point of creatures who can only live for a hundred years yet pursue such boundless greed?

“Futile beings.”

Nevertheless, Anya Yerchevitz found humans to be quite intriguing.

Unlike dragons, those tiny creatures had such short lifespans.
Yet, they paid too much attention to trivial matters and seemed to delight and sorrow as if they owned the world.

Anya didn’t possess such emotions.

Living for over 5000 years, she had long lost interest in worldly affairs.

Hence, Anya was very curious about human emotions.

The more she delved into them, the more complex, ephemeral, amusing, and delightful they seemed.

No matter how much she delved, she never grew tired of them.

“This was quite amusing.”

Anya glanced out the window of her study, returned the book she held to its shelf, and sought another book.

A tale that would resonate with her heart, of creatures that would move her.

“…”

However, time was abundant for a dragon who had lived for over 5000 years.

Over those countless years, she had perused numerous books on humans.

Naturally, she had already read all the books in her library.

Anya felt a deep sense of longing.

How much time would need to pass before she could find more enjoyable stories?

She ran her hand over the books on the shelf, then pulled out one book.

“Love and Dust.”

It was her favorite book.

A romance novel about a knight and a princess of a kingdom overcoming their status to find love in each other…

It was her favorite romance novel.

But it was a book she had read over a hundred times already.

The initial excitement had long faded.

Knowing the predetermined outcome of the two overcoming hardships and eventually marrying each other felt different from the first time.

“Ah… It’s boring. So boring.”

Anya eventually put the book back on the shelf and sat at her desk, taking out a quill and parchment.

She began to write slowly, one character at a time.

“But he was a dragon. Immortal, living for over ten thousand years. And she was a mere human. A small creature who couldn’t even live a hundred years.”

“Coldren couldn’t accept the woman’s love. Their times were too different. If anyone were to be left hurt in the end, it would be him.”

[Immortality and Mortality].

Anya found the world lacking enjoyable stories, so she created her own.

A love story between a dragon and a human.

The pain arising from their different lifespans and the beautiful love story of overcoming that pain and loving each other.

“Ah… I don’t know what to write.”

However, soon, Anya threw the pen aside and buried her body in the chair.

Having never experienced love, she didn’t know what to write.

“Love…”

Anya Yerchevitz pondered about love.

Humans expressed ‘love’ as ‘cherishing and longing.’

But it was a strange word to Anya.

Even if cherished, it would eventually fade away, and there was no need to long for it; one would meet eventually.

It was the anguish of what’s known as an immortal.

“Perhaps there’s nothing interesting to write about.”

It was during this contemplation.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

“Duke, a guest has arrived!”
“A guest?”

Anya, who was heavily burdened with the pain of creation, spoke curtly.

“I don’t meet guests. Send them away.”
“But… They wish to seek advice from you, Your Grace.”
“I don’t have time for that.”
“It’s not just any advice, Your Grace. It’s about relationships.”

At that, Anya’s ears perked up.

A small burst of cold air escaped from her nose.

“Let them in.”

Suddenly, Anya found herself rushing to the door and opening it.

“Let them in!”

***

“So, what is it that’s troubling you?”

Anya Yertchevich.

Despite the impression that she was a fierce dragon ruling the north in ancient times, she looked nothing more than a little girl.

Although I knew that dragons could take on human form using the polymorph technique, it was still surprising.

“Tell me.”

The aspect of being curious about human emotions was quite intriguing.

However, there was no time to focus on such matters.

I needed to glimpse into the deepest recesses of Edward’s memories as soon as possible.

If I see…

I’ll know the source of this feeling and if I’m truly someone who can be by Ania’s side.
If everything becomes known.
If I can accept it myself…

“Quickly.”

At Anya’s urging, I began to tell my story.

The times when we first met, the inevitabilities that led us to diverge, and yet how we came to love each other in the end.

Anya Yertchevich listened carefully to all these stories and diligently wrote them on paper.

Her expression remained stoic, but her pen exerted force in the poignant moments of the stories.
There was a strange excitement when Ania and I confirmed our feelings again.

It was almost unbelievable for a dragon who had lived for over 5000 years.

“That’s the story up to now.”

When we finished the story, Anya Yertchevich grasped my hand tightly in her tiny hand.

With an excited breath and a trembling voice, Anya said, “It’s truly a wonderful story!”

Wonderful.

I’m unsure what that means, but I understand this dragon loves a good love story.

“So now, I need that herb. I need to know who I am.”

Anya nodded.

“Of course. A dragon who can’t even provide one herb in such circumstances isn’t worth their salt.”

She used magic to open the wooden drawer in the room. A blue-glowing herb floated over and gently landed on my hand.

“Take it.”
“Thank you.”

The ease with which things unfolded surprised me for a moment.

I needed to hurry back.

After returning to my territory and reading the memories, I’ll find Ania in the Capital.
But as I was about to leave, Anya Yertchevich grabbed the hem of my clothes and pulled me back.

A smile appeared on the face of the dragon, which had been expressionless.

“It’s actually I who should be grateful.”
“Hmm?”

Though I didn’t understand the words, I nodded lightly and left the room.

I heard Anya’s voice behind me as I passed through the door.

“Promise me you’ll come back when you get married!”
“I will definitely come back!”

Maybe she’s a better dragon than I thought.

***

Anya closed her eyes gently after reading through the written words on the paper.

“What a wonderful story.”

At some point, she wanted to meet a woman named Ania Bronte.

Humans, lacking the insight of dragons, always seemed to think only of themselves.
They couldn’t understand each other’s hearts unless they were spoken, leading to misunderstandings.

Some might consider them pitiful creatures, but Anya didn’t think so.
That misunderstanding, that lack, was the beauty of humans.

Even without knowing each other’s hearts, they yearned for each other with one passionate emotion: love.

“The title should be like this.”

After scribbling on the paper with a pen for some time, Anya raised it with a smile.

[If You Don’t Love Me, I’ll Die]

Could there be a more fitting phrase for their story?

Thinking it was a well-chosen title, Anya Yertchevich immersed herself in writing.

Author’s Note (Author’s Postscript)
Now we’re really racing towards the latter part of the story!
The further the story progresses, the more I feel reluctant for their tale to end.
But since these characters have been given so much affection, I believe they’ll be remembered long after the story concludes.

Translator’s Corner

I am once again in need of your novel requests. Searching for new ones is rough.

-Ruminas