If you don't love me, I will die. - Chapter 83

“Argh…”

When I regained consciousness, I was lying in my room.

My mind was foggy.

It felt like the morning after drinking heavily.
My stomach felt uncomfortable as if I were about to vomit, and a splitting headache tormented me.

It was indeed a terrible feeling.

After a while, as the pain gradually subsided, I saw the faces of Ei and Canella.

It took quite a while to figure out what had happened.

“Are you okay?”

Ei slowly helped me up from the bed.

I tried to push her hand away, but my body resisted against me.
I could barely open my mouth.

“…No.”
“Just rest a little. You’ll be fine soon.”

As she said, I closed my eyes briefly, and then my body slowly began to move.
My arms and legs felt rusty.

I immediately glanced at Canella.

“Why is my body like this? What did you do?”
“Calm down.”

Canella held out her hand.

“It’s just part of the process. There’s no major problem with your body.”
“But there is a problem with my body right now.”
“No, there isn’t. We separated your consciousness from your body and put it into your memories. So naturally, it takes time for your mind and body to recombine when you wake up.”

It was an incomprehensible story, but I accepted it for now.
It had already happened.

Besides, I wanted to read the memories in the first place.
What I had read was what mattered.

I asked Ei,

“The memories I read…Can you see them too?”
“No.”

Ei shook her head.

“I didn’t use magic this time, but a special potion. Only you could have read memories. So, I want to ask, did you find anything?”

I shook my head.

“No.”
“……..”

Seeing disappointment in Ei’s eyes for a moment, I asked again.

“Instead, I have a question for you.”
“What is it?”
“Can we do that again?”

The memories I read this time were different from the original ones.

I thought my questions would be answered, but more questions arose instead.

But I felt I could find out if I reread the memories.

However, Ei shook her head.

“It’s possible, but… it’s difficult right now.”
“Right now?”
“Yes.”

Ei seemed to hesitate momentarily as if pondering how to explain, and then she spoke.

“You know the situation with the Northern Kingdom invading the Empire, right?”
“Yeah.”
“To make the potion for reading memories, we need a special herb that grows in the northern region.”
“And we can’t get it now?”
“It’s not that we can’t get it. It’s just difficult.”
“Why?”

Canella, who was nearby, interjected into the conversation.

“Because it grows only in the territory of Duke Yerchevitz in the North.”
“Yerchevitz?”
“Yes. It’s a herb with very pure magical power, so it can only be cultivated by dragons.”

Dragons…

Realizing that such things existed, I stood up from where I sat.

“So, if we meet Duke Yerchevitz, we can get it.”
“It’s better not to do that.”
“Why?”

Canella furrowed her brow.

“Dragons are capricious. They generally don’t meet with humans who are not wizards.”

I immediately summoned magic, causing light to illuminate the air.

“I can use magic.”

Canella’s eyes widened with interest as she saw the light.

“…Still, it won’t be easy to meet him. Duke Yerchevitz is an arrogant and concted dragon.”
“But you managed to meet him.”
“It was obtained a long time ago.”
“Tell me how.”

Canella seemed hesitant for a moment before sighing softly.

“I can tell you, but it’s not easy. I am also interested in your consciousness, so if you manage to obtain it yourself, it would be appreciated… but be careful not to lose your life.”
“Don’t worry.”

I had no intention of dying before meeting Ania.

Swallowing those words inwardly, I listened carefully to Canella’s words.

***

Imperial capital, Khaledvar.

The palace, standing tall at its center, was dimmer than usual.

The central square of the Imperial Capital, always bustling with activity,
The streets where merchants used to loudly hawk their wares,
The flower shops, the cathedrals, the houses, the arboretum – all had lost their shape.

Moreover, the smell of blood permeated the streets as countless people had died.

Though the knights worked hard to mitigate the damage, it could not be repaired overnight.

“……”

Inside the reception room of the palace.

Ania, leaning against the window, also gazed outside with a deep sense of sorrow.

‘The Capital is like this…’

Ania felt guilty as she looked at the scenery.

A sense of helplessness that there was nothing she could do for those suffering there.
That helplessness gradually sank Ania deeper into despair.

“I want to meet Edward.”

Perhaps Edward, too, faced the fear of death like them.

The loneliness of being left alone in the world.
Horrible times that were previously unimaginable.

Then the door chimed softly and slowly opened.

Ania slowly turned her head to look at the door.

“Are you okay?”

It was Eldrigan.

He sat on a chair, placing a tray with cups and a pitcher on the tea table.

“No.”

At Ania’s response, he nodded silently.

A moment of silence passed.

“What about Edward?”

It was Ania who broke the silence.

“I still don’t know much about his condition. But there is some good news.”
“What is it?”
“Some people saw a man like Edward fighting at the gate.”
“…!”

Ania’s eyes widened.

Then, like dew gathering on leaves, tears began to fall.

“They said he defeated dozens of soldiers alone and then rode a horse out of the gate.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”

Although Eldrigan spoke like that, he knew rumors were unreliable.

The more they spread, the more distorted they became.

He hoped it wasn’t true… but there was a possibility that Edward could be among the countless piles of bodies.

“The communication office will be restored soon. If that happens, we can contact the Radner estate.”
“…yeah.”

Although she tried to respond with determination, all that came out of Ania’s mouth was a weak answer.

Ania kept having bad thoughts, even though she didn’t want to.
Despite her efforts, tears kept flowing involuntarily.
Her vision blurred, and her body trembled.

If Edward had really died… Ania didn’t have the confidence to continue living.

But she didn’t even know if she could follow him in death.

“Ania.”

Seeing her like that, Eldrigan gently embraced her.

“Don’t worry. Edward is not that weak.”
“Yeah…”
“Stop having bad thoughts. Would Edward want to see you like this when you meet again?”
“No.”

With Ania’s slightly brighter response, Eldrigan finally felt relieved.

“Rest well.”

With that, Eldrigan slowly returned to his study.

On his way back, he thought about Ania Bronte.

When she was young, she used to follow him around obediently.
No, maybe “follow” isn’t the right word.
She just didn’t want to be separated from him.

Perhaps she missed the warmth of human touch.

When she was young, she seemed so expressionless and listless, as if she would break at a touch.

At the end of her gaze, as she looked out the window, happy children were playing.
It was as if she were observing an unattainable world through a glass window as if admiring a painting.

That was the girl who suddenly changed after meeting someone.

Eldrigan didn’t know who that someone was, but now he had some idea.
The boy he had glimpsed passing through the Bronte estate.
Unlike himself, who seemed shabby as the Crown Prince, that boy looked dignified and brave.

Ania’s only friend, whom she had always talked to whenever they met.

Perhaps that was Edward.
A man with the courage to sacrifice his body and soul for the woman he loved…

“Your Majesty, all the advisors are gathered.”
“I see.”

But he knew.
Eldrigan knew he wasn’t the kind of person who could muster such courage.

How much must one give up to summon such courage as Edward did?

“Many things will change from now on.”
“We will move according to Your Majesty’s will.”
“That’s a scary thought.”

A sinking ship.
Sailors who don’t realize the ship is sinking.
Standing alone at the helm is the Captain.

To prevent the ship from sinking, he knows what he must do.

Throw the sailors into the sea and sink valuable cargo into the depths.

Only that…
It was the way to save the remaining sailors.

Eldrigan slowly opened the door to his study.

“Your Majesty!”
“Give us your orders!”
“Death to our enemies!”

They know nothing.

Of course, Eldrigan himself knows nothing either.
What will the words about to come out of his mouth result in…

All Eldrigan knew was that countless lives would be lost.