If you don't love me, I will die. - Chapter 69

The door closed firmly as Viola Brontë stared blankly.

Watching all this from a distance, I rose from my seat, took off my crumpled hat, and approached Viola.

“It didn’t go as planned.”
“I was expecting that.”

Viola attempted a smile, but it wasn’t received as such.

When she left for the East, did she know she would become such a hated parent by her own child?

Viola Brontë left for the East when she was twenty-two, just after getting married and having a child.
A young age, indeed.
She was young enough to think chasing her dreams was more important than family.

So, it was understandable enough why she left Ania behind and went to the East.
But even amidst that understanding, there was something I couldn’t comprehend.

“May I ask you something?”
“Yes, anything.”

I took a deep breath and spoke up.

“I can understand going to the East at a young age… but I heard you didn’t send a single letter. Is that true?”

Viola couldn’t easily respond to my question.

But there was no look of confusion or injustice on her face.

It was a nostalgic gaze as if recalling a distant past.

“Yes. That’s right.”
“Why? You’re her mother.”

If she truly missed her.

If she loved my daughter and came back, sending a few letters shouldn’t have been so difficult.

“Was there some unavoidable reason?”

Perhaps someone, like Ania and I, had intervened, I asked, thinking aloud, but Viola only shook her head.

“No. Just… just.”
“If you say that, then there’s nothing more I can do to help. To forgive a mother who didn’t send a single letter… how can I say that to Ania?”
“That’s not it.”

After Viola’s statement, there was silence for a while, so I pulled out a chair and sat down.

Viola drank from the wine on the table for a while before finally speaking again.”

“I simply couldn’t muster the courage to do so.”
“Courage?”
“Yes.”
“Is courage necessary to send a letter to your daughter?”
“It sounds absurd, but that’s what happened.”

She let out a bitter, empty laugh before continuing.

“When I returned to the estate after five years of being away in the East, I wondered how much my recently born child must have grown… I returned with such anticipation. I was so curious about how much my beloved child had grown. But do you know what happened?”

I quietly shook my head.

“She didn’t recognize me. Ania hid behind her father’s back and smiled at me. I thought she’d recognize me as her mother… but to Ania, I was just a stranger.”
“So, you couldn’t send a letter… because of that?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

There was a depth of sadness in Viola’s eyes.

“I might have realized by then that it was too late to reverse anything. I didn’t know back then that being a parent means raising a child with love, not just giving birth to them.”

Viola said this and rose from her seat.

“Are you leaving?”
“I suppose.”
“For now… as a guest, please stay at the mansion. I’ll let them know in advance.”
“Thank you.”

Seeing her lonely figure hunched over, I sighed.

Pride and stubbornness could be so strong while having so little self-esteem.

The words ‘mother’ and ‘daughter’ fit them perfectly.

But at least there was a possibility.

Ania didn’t seem to hate her mother entirely. If she did, she wouldn’t have entered the restaurant in the first place.

Viola Brontë, who had thoughtlessly abandoned her child, wasn’t as thoughtless as I had imagined.

At the very least, she seemed to know what she had done wrong.

Compared to her husband, who didn’t even know what he had done wrong, there was indeed a possibility.

“What to do with these two…”

***

After returning to the mansion, I headed straight to Ania’s room, but she wasn’t there.

I knew exactly where she would be when she wasn’t in her room.

As expected, when I headed to the garden, Ania sat on a bench, gazing at the sky.
I approached her and draped a coat over her shoulders.

“Edward.”
“It’s still cold. You’ll catch a cold sitting out here. Especially with your health not being the best.”
“Hmm.”

Ania chuckled softly, but it wasn’t a particularly joyful laugh.

“Can we talk?”
“Yeah.”

Ania lifted one corner of her mouth slightly.

“Edward… I understand your feelings well enough, but I hope you won’t be like this anymore.”
“I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“That doesn’t matter, but… no matter what, I won’t ever accept her apology.”

This stubbornness… If only she could let go of it a little.

“I’m curious about the reason.”

As I asked, Ania turned to me, tiny teardrops forming in her eyes.

“If we talk, I’ll have expectations, and I know how foolish those expectations are, Edward.”

Ania grabbed my hand and pulled me closer.
I sat down beside her.

Her golden hair brushed against my body.

“How can I believe she won’t leave again? She left me alone for twenty years. How can we now suddenly live like any other mother and daughter?”
“She’s regretful of her actions.”
“If she was going to regret it, she shouldn’t have done it.”
“Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Can leaving your child behind be considered a mistake?”

Ania’s pupils met mine.

“If she loved me, she could have said so at least once.”
“But…”
“Edward. What if I were to leave for a distant place? What would you do then?”

I replied promptly to Ania’s question.
It was a question with no need for thought.

“I’d go after you.”
“And what about the business? The estate?”
“What does that matter?”

Ania chuckled and nodded her head.

“Good.”
“Ah.”

It was only then that I realized.
Ania had neatly set the trap, and I fell right into it.

“If you love someone, you can sacrifice anything.”

She was right.

For Ania’s sake, I quit smoking, and if she were ever in danger, I had the resolve to sacrifice my life to protect her.
Likewise, Ania, unable to receive love from me, was willing to choose death, throwing herself out of the window.

That’s what love is.

We already knew that.

“Mother doesn’t love me. She merely gave birth to me, and now that her interest in the East has waned, she came to see me. That’s all.”

With nothing more to say, I simply looked up at the sky with Ania.

The slightly chilly breeze of the spring night passed by us.

Ania shivered.

“Let’s go inside now. It’s late.”
“Yeah.”

The night was deep.

I strolled slowly through the mansion after seeing Ania off to her room.
Sleep didn’t come quickly.
In a few days, my week-long vacation would end.

I had intended to spend quality time with Ania, but now it seemed difficult to enjoy it.
More than that, I worried about what would happen if their relationship didn’t improve within the week.

A parent’s love is essential.

There’s quite a difference between children who are loved and those who aren’t.
Whether one grows up as a bright and dependent child or as an adult with perpetual anxiety hidden in one’s heart.

Ania was undoubtedly the latter.

Her father, according to Ania, would listen to anything she said but demanded the attitude expected of a nobleman’s daughter,

While her mother, Viola, left Ania behind and went far away, abandoning her.
It couldn’t be said that she was a child who received love and care.

Perhaps… her personality was because of her background.

With these thoughts in mind, I moved towards the room where Viola stayed and knocked on the door.

Since Ania had shut herself away, I figured the solution must be sought from her mother’s side.

“It’s Edward.”

However, there was no response despite my knocking.

Had she already left?

Despite this thought, I couldn’t imagine the woman who had come all the way from the East to find her daughter leaving so easily, so I knocked on the door again.

Still, there was no answer.

It seemed she had really left.
But as soon as I slowly opened the door and stepped inside, I couldn’t help but be startled.

“Viola!”

It was because Viola collapsed in the middle of the room, next to the small bedside table.

I rushed over and shook her body.
Still, there was no response.

“Lorendel!”

As I shouted, the mansion echoed, and before long, Lorendel and the still-awake servants rushed in.

They looked at the collapsed Viola and gasped.

“Fetch the physician! Right away!”

I lifted Viola and rushed out of the mansion.
Waiting for the physician would take too long.
It would be faster to go to the physician myself.

While I was rushing, Ania’s door opened.
Ania, who seemed unable to sleep, widened her eyes in surprise as she saw me carrying Viola.

“Mother!”