If You Want Me - Episode 98
<Episode 98>
“When you said you wanted to get married… You were waiting for an answer, weren’t you?”
“By the way, just like Secretary Bae, what’s up with today? It felt like both of you were pressuring me to talk about marriage as if you had planned it. I know that you and Secretary Bae didn’t collude to press me on marriage today, but it felt that way.”
There were too many things to consider before giving an answer right away. At least I was able to say it in front of Secretary Bae, but I was careful about saying it in front of Do-gyeom because it might mean rejecting him.
I was so flustered that I couldn’t say anything, and Do-gyeom let out a small sigh.
“Hah… I know you can’t give an answer just because I’m pushing, but I’m getting impatient. Sorry.”
“……”
As if trying to calm himself down, Do-gyeom took a sip of the sparkling drink poured into the glass. It was a clear fruit sparkling drink bought for a non-alcoholic option, but when he put it to his mouth, it looked as elegant as if he were drinking a high-end wine.
Seo-won was about to be captivated by his cool appearance like a scene from a movie, but tried to think rationally.
Of course, it would be nice to get married. You’ll be able to receive pheromones in a much more stable environment than now, and I like him too… Now that I’ve realized that he liked me before, not because of imprinting, my heart is leaning more and more towards that direction.
But… can I decide to get married on my own? Do-gyeom seems to think that only my opinion is the most important, but as I see it, there are so many other things to consider.
Seo-won put down the knife and fork he was holding on the plate and carefully asked him.
“Hyung… But what if I say yes, but we can’t get permission? I think that’s important too….”
“Your mother?”
“No! Not my family… Your mother and father.”
Seo-won hurriedly shook his head in response to Do-gyeom’s question.
My mom was positive about me and Do-gyeom seeing each other. Of course, she asked why it had to be Do-gyeom, and showed a displeasure about the terrible heartache he had caused, but her opinion was that if they liked each other, they should try seeing each other.
So if I asked if I could get married, my mom would probably allow it… but when I thought of Do-gyeom’s parents, it felt like an insurmountable wall was blocking the way.
Most of the children that Do-gyeom’s mother brought to him as potential marriage partners were from families that were leaders in Korea, so I was sure I wouldn’t meet her standards.
Even if I worry and decide to get married… I don’t think Do-gyeom’s parents would allow it. When Seo-won asked that, thinking about it, Do-gyeom thought for a moment and then agreed.
“They’re not the type to give permission easily.”
“Then….”
“I’ll figure that out somehow, so just think about how you feel.”
Seo-won looked worried, but Do-gyeom answered lightly as if there was no need to consider anything else.
A confident and positive attitude was a good thing, but today, it felt a bit suffocating to think too optimistically without a plan.
“I don’t think this is something to be taken lightly….”
“I don’t think there’s a need to get scared and run away from something that hasn’t happened yet. Let’s not think about other things and just focus on us.”
Seo-won was afraid of the many things that would happen because of his choice, but he thought that what he said wasn’t wrong either.
If you worry too much about things that haven’t even happened yet, you won’t be able to take a single step forward.
Especially if it’s a once-in-a-lifetime choice, you shouldn’t run away because you’re afraid.
When I realized that I was pregnant with Do-gyeom’s child, I nearly ruined my relationship with Do-gyeom by running away. Now I knew that I shouldn’t run away.
“…Okay.”
When Seo-won nodded his head, saying he understood for now, Do-gyeom’s serious face softened a bit. He picked up the tongs on the table and naturally changed the subject.
“Should I give you more meat? It doesn’t seem like enough.”
“There’s still a lot left….”
“Is that so? Then eat a lot of pasta too.”
There was still a lot of meat left on the plate and I had eaten a lot of pasta. It was absurd to say something out of the blue, but delicious food was effective in lightening the mood. Seo-won unknowingly let out a laugh.
As he said, I wanted to focus on the emotions of this moment rather than anything else.
* * *
After the meal was over, Seo-won slowly began to watch Do-gyeom’s reaction.
There was no reason to come here other than to sleep together… and it was true that he was conscious of the atmosphere flowing that way again.
Sitting in a chair at the dining table, sipping water, Do-gyeom put the empty dishes in the sink and returned to Seo-won.
“Is there anything you want to do? Should we watch a movie?”
“Hmm….”
It would be nice to watch a movie with Do-gyeom. We had watched a movie together at the movie theater before, but we had never watched one cozily at his house.
About to nod, Seo-won recalled something he had been curious about when he went to his house before and asked.
“Instead of that. Can I… see your photo album?”
“Album? You can look at it, but you already know all my old looks. Are you curious?”
Do-gyeom asked, tilting his head as if there was no particular reason to look at it.
It wasn’t wrong. Since I had seen him since childhood, I was familiar with his childhood appearance. For Seo-won, his childhood appearance was more familiar and impressive. Nevertheless, Seo-won wanted to see it.
“We haven’t seen each other for quite a long time. And you took pictures of my old photos too….”
“That’s true. I’ll show you.”
Do-gyeom quickly agreed, as if there was nothing to worry about, and took Seo-won into the room.
It was his room that I had seen a few times, but every time I came, I thought it felt quite different from the room I had seen at the mansion.
His room, where he lived alone after leaving the mansion, had a strong sense of being simple and modern. Recalling his room at the mansion, which had a strong sense of looking shabby, it seemed to be the difference between the room his parents had decorated for him and the one Do-gyeom had decorated to his own taste.
While Seo-won was looking around, rolling his eyes here and there, Do-gyeom rummaged through the bookshelf and took out a thick album. He put the heavy album on the bed and gave Seo-won a look.
“Come over here.”
He naturally led them to lie side by side together to look at it. At those words, Seo-won stopped looking around the room and leaned against the bed.
Lying on his stomach, he suddenly worried that he might be pressing on the baby in his belly, but he didn’t recall the doctor telling him not to lie on his stomach. It was the first time he had lain on his stomach since his belly had grown a bit, but it was much more comfortable than he thought.
After he lay down, Do-gyeom lay down next to him, and he felt the mattress being pressed, realizing what had happened. He was so focused on thinking about the album and Chaltteok that he didn’t realize they were lying on the bed together.
He was inwardly nervous that the atmosphere might flow into something strange, but fortunately, Do-gyeom didn’t seem to have such thoughts and immediately opened the album.
“But it won’t be as fun as your photos.”
“I’m not looking at it to have fun….”
Seo-won answered timidly to Do-gyeom’s words. He didn’t ask to see the album expecting a funny or ridiculous appearance from Do-gyeom. He just wanted to see the side of him that he hadn’t seen before.
Although he replied like that, as soon as he opened the album, he could understand what Do-gyeom meant by “fun.”
The photos in the album were not the clumsy and new appearance of Do-gyeom that Seo-won had expected. The young and innocent-looking Do-gyeom in the photos seemed to have been forced to take photos with unfamiliar people at his parents’ business events.
As if he noticed that Seo-won had understood the flow of the album, Do-gyeom flipped through a few pages a bit awkwardly and said.
“But the ones taken when I was studying abroad might be a bit better.”
“Oh, I want to see those.”
Seo-won showed excitement at Do-gyeom’s words. If the album had continued to feel like this from beginning to end, it would have passed without any gain, but it was different if it was from when he was studying abroad.
When Do-gyeom suddenly left to study abroad, there was a gap of 6 years. During that time, he had never seen him at all, and even when he was his partner, he never dared to bring up how he had lived during that time. He thought it was a clear overstepping to be curious about the years he hadn’t seen, as a mere pheromone partner.
At Seo-won’s reaction, Do-gyeom flipped the pages in a bundle. From a certain point on, the background and the still atmosphere completely changed. It was his appearance during his study abroad, as he had said.
“It starts from here.”
“Yeah.”
Since it wasn’t a long time ago, there wasn’t much difference in his appearance or a sense of youth. However, what was definitely different was his style.
Now, he often wears suit styles because he participates in many public events, but at that time, he often wore loose-fitting sweatshirts or hoodies. For Seo-won, who often wore uniforms or suits, it was an interesting aspect.
In particular, the photo that caught his eye was one of Do-gyeom in a gray hoodie, jeans, and a basketball tucked under his arm. His hair, which didn’t seem to have anything applied to it, and the hair blown by the wind were natural.
He looked cool in a different sense than the current Do-gyeom. Even though it was the same person, it was hard to take his eyes off him as if he had fallen in love at first sight. He was staring blankly, forgetting to react, when Do-gyeom glanced at Seo-won and asked casually.
“Do you like me better back then?”
“What?”
“You couldn’t take your eyes off, so I wondered.”
I do like it, but… if you ask me if I like it better back then, that’s not quite it.
I liked his current appearance and his previous appearance. From the appearance of Do-gyeom that he had seen since he was five years old until now, there was never a time when he didn’t look cool.
“No… It’s not that I like it better, it’s just refreshing.”
“Should I dress like that?”
Although he said that being captivated by the photo wasn’t for that reason, Do-gyeom actively appealed. As if to say that if you like it, I’ll show you how I look dressed like that too.
There’s no need for that at all. I didn’t look at it for that reason…
The right thing to do is to answer no right away, but the problem is… I hesitated because I was a bit captivated.