If You Want Me - Episode 94
<Episode 94>
“Should have bought it on the way.”
Do-gyeom muttered to himself as he walked down the dark path. A black plastic bag dangled from his hand.
On the way back home with Seo-won, he was so excited that he didn’t think to buy a toothbrush and underwear. He didn’t intend to do anything to Seo-won and just wanted to sleep in the same house, but he was so thrilled like in childhood thinking of going on a picnic that he had no thoughts.
I must really like Seo-won a lot. I become a fool only in front of Seo-won.
When he returned from the supermarket with a silly smile, Seo-won was drying his hair with a towel with a sleepy face.
Maybe it was pajamas he wore here, but his appearance drying his hair with a towel while wearing baggy clothes was cute. Even though it was nothing special, whenever he saw Seo-won since long ago, he looked fluffy so he couldn’t erase the impression that he was cute.
Is it because he’s young…? Even when I see kids younger than Seo-won, I don’t think they’re cute. I think Seo-won was just born cute by nature.
Before, he went to the cafeteria for an errand and saw an employee pull up a celebrity photo on their phone and blabber that if they took the MBTI test, they would get CUTE. At that time, he couldn’t understand what nonsense they were spouting, but he thought it suited Seo-won perfectly.
I’m really hopeless too. As Do-gyeom was thinking that and quietly watching Seo-won, Seo-won must have sensed his presence and stopped drying his hair to look back at Do-gyeom.
“You’re back?”
“Yeah. Want me to dry your hair for you?”
“What? Ah, no? You should hurry and wash up too, young mas-, no, hyung.”
Do-gyeom lightly suggested, but Seo-won turned bright red and floundered like someone who heard dirty talk. He kept calling him hyung well, but he seemed flustered enough to almost call him young master.
It was a shame. He had asked thinking Seo-won’s hair looked soft to touch. While clicking his tongue inwardly, Do-gyeom didn’t show his disappointment outwardly and naturally changed the subject.
“Okay. You look sleepy, so if you’re tired, don’t wait and go to sleep first.”
“Hmm, yeah…”
Seo-won thought for a bit then nodded. Seo-won obediently nodding looked admirable. Even though it was nothing much.
Do-gyeom smiled faintly then went into the bathroom. Since Seo-won had just washed up, the bathroom was filled with moisture and warm steam, and there was a fragrant body wash scent.
Usually he was focused only on Seo-won’s pheromones so he didn’t know, but the faint body wash scent was this, it seemed. It was a sweet scent similar to baby lotion.
“You know what suits you.”
Do-gyeom chuckled and undressed. While thinking it was completely different from the body wash he used, he thought it suited Seo-won. Although Seo-won was an adult and not that young, maybe because he had seen him since young or because he gave a pure impression, he often had these absurd thoughts.
He didn’t expect to physically unite or sleep in the same bed, but maybe because it was a situation where Seo-won allowed him. He was in a good mood the whole time while washing up. When he finished preparing well and came out wearing only a towel, there were two clothes neatly folded in front of the bathroom. It seemed Seo-won had picked out big ones among his own clothes for Do-gyeom to wear to sleep.
There was a similar situation when he forcibly went down to find him on the island village… He thought it was very different from then and felt good about this too.
He changed clothes and went to the living room, but Seo-won was nowhere to be seen. The house was also dead quiet. The emotions that had been heightened the whole time sank like cold water was poured on them.
“…Yoon Seo-won?”
Do-gyeom called for Seo-won while going through the kitchen and living room, but there was no response. There was no one in the yard visible through the large window either.
Where did he go without a word? In this remote countryside where it was hard to even catch a car, and while he was washing at that, it made no sense for him to think of running away. Even if he ran away, it would be the same.
However, to Do-gyeom, Seo-won was already someone who had run away several times. He trusted and loved him, but because he had hurt Seo-won’s feelings a lot, he had no confidence that he wouldn’t try to leave again.
We agreed to date and even made a contract… If he disappeared without a word when we agreed to get married, it wouldn’t be that, right?
Even though he knew it wouldn’t be, his heart suddenly started beating fast and he became anxious. After thinking for a moment, Do-gyeom quickly searched the house for Seo-won.
“Seo-won.”
He’s not in the closet either… He opened the door to the second lit room, the bedroom, but here too it was only cluttered from organizing the move and Seo-won was nowhere to be seen.
Where is he when I’ve looked all over the house? As he was thinking of going out to look, suddenly the blanket on the bed caught his eye bulging out.
It didn’t look like a person, just a round bulge sticking out. With a feeling of ‘it can’t be’, as soon as he carefully approached and lifted the blanket, Do-gyeom let out a breath as if sighing.
“…Ha.”
It was none other than Seo-won curled up like a shrimp, sleeping.
He was sleeping this peacefully? I thought for that short moment that Seo-won had run away and my head was spinning… It was absurd but relieving so he couldn’t say anything.
Come to think of it, when the house is unusually quiet, the first thought is ‘is he sleeping?’, but why am I acting like I developed separation anxiety? Moreover, wasn’t I the one who told him to sleep first without waiting if he was sleepy?
Feeling both absurdity and relief, Do-gyeom squatted down, rested his arms and chin on the bed, and observed Seo-won’s face from the front.
“…He’s really sleeping.”
It’s nice to see him sleeping like this, but honestly, it’s a bit disappointing.
When I said let’s sleep over for a day, it’s not that I didn’t expect it. I thought we would chat about this and that while sleeping in the same bed, play around, and fall asleep happily.
‘But I didn’t think about the single bed and Seo-won’s body condition…’
We’re not a couple sleeping in separate rooms or a couple that fought. Being in the same house, and having to sleep apart from Seo-won who’s this cute like a baby squirrel at that, was regrettable.
If he could, he wanted to keep gazing at Seo-won who was soundly sleeping, but if he kept the lights on and did this, it seemed Seo-won would wake up soon. Knowing it was a time he should sleep well, he didn’t want to disturb him.
Do-gyeom turned off the lights for him and carefully left the room. Thinking it was late and there was nothing to do, he lay down on the sofa and tried to sleep.
He closed his eyes and stayed still for a while, but contrary to his mind, he couldn’t fall asleep. It seemed he wasn’t tired in the first place and the bedding was more uncomfortable than usual. He thought of working at a time like this, but his work tablet was in the car and he couldn’t do that in case he woke up Seo-won while going back and forth.
Having no choice, he tossed and turned in boredom, and suddenly he heard a rustling sound.
“…Hmm?”
He had taken off the shirt he was wearing and changed into the pajamas Seo-won prepared, hanging the shirt on the sofa, but when he touched the shirt while tossing and turning, there was a sound like paper crumpling.
Why is there such a sound from the shirt…? As he thought it was strange, he suddenly remembered putting Seo-won’s letter in the front pocket.
“Ah, I was going to read the letter.”
Seo-won told him to read it later so he forcibly suppressed his curiosity, but he had completely forgotten about its existence.
Seeing that he finally gave it when asked, it doesn’t seem to have any grand content, but maybe because it was a letter written long ago, he seemed reluctant to give it. He had held back in case Seo-won got angry if he read it in front of him, but since he was alone, it seemed okay to read it.
Do-gyeom sat up and carefully took out the letter from the front pocket so it wouldn’t crumple. When he opened the envelope and took out the letter paper, Seo-won’s neat handwriting caught his eye.
The handwriting wasn’t very different from now, so Do-gyeom chuckled and read it carefully.
To. Young Master Seo Do-gyeom
Hello, happy birthday Young Master.
I hope you are especially happy today, more than any other day. I heard you’re having a birthday party tomorrow, so eat a lot of delicious things and have a good day.
Ah, and I really wanted to buy you a present and thought about it a lot. But Young Master, you already have everything… Honestly, I don’t know what to give you. Next time, if there’s something you want, please tell me. Expensive things are a bit hard, but I’ll try my best within what I can buy for you.
“Saying he’ll buy something for me…”
Do-gyeom muttered while reading Seo-won’s letter. In Do-gyeom’s eyes, even the current Seo-won didn’t look well-off, so at this time when he was a student, he looked even poorer.
It was obvious that if he asked him to buy something, Seo-won would buy it even if he had to overextend himself, so he asked for a letter instead of a present. And as Seo-won said, he could buy most things himself, so rather than receiving a valuable gift, he preferred receiving a sincere letter.
He really doesn’t know my heart at all. Do-gyeom laughed hollowly and continued reading the letter.
And… I was too embarrassed to say it, but I look forward to playing with Young Master every day and I like it. I want to keep getting along well with Young Master in the future too.
I want to stay by Young Master’s side even when I get older. I’ll celebrate your birthday every year, so even if I have to leave the mansion someday, I hope we can keep in touch. I probably won’t be able to contact you as often as now since you’ll be busy then.
Still, I hope you won’t forget the memories we shared together.
Always be grateful and happy.
From. Yoon Seo-won
“…Cute.”
Then and now.
Even though there wasn’t any special content, imagining little Seo-won writing the letter while fiddling his small hands in the duty room, he couldn’t hold back his laughter.
Do-gyeom, who read it several times as if savoring it, carefully put the letter away again and quietly went to Seo-won’s room.
Until earlier, Seo-won was curled up sleeping like a shrimp, but now he was lying on his side, sleeping so soundly that he wouldn’t know even if carried on his back. Although the single bed looked narrow, thanks to him lying sideways, it seemed like he could somehow squeeze in and sleep if he tried.
Do-gyeom slyly hugged Seo-won and dug into the spot next to him. Because Do-gyeom’s build was so large, it looked like he would roll off to the floor at this rate, but pressing his body tightly against Seo-won, it felt quite stable.
He wore baggy clothes so it wasn’t very noticeable, but hugging him tightly like this, his protruding belly could be felt.
Both Tteokbokki inside and Seo-won felt like his.
Truthfully, Do-gyeom had never really felt the embrace of family since he was young. While acknowledging that he enjoyed benefits here and there, his father was indifferent and his mother… she liked him but that love felt a bit twisted and he felt she saw him as an avatar of her business acumen.
So he didn’t place much meaning on things like family… But as he told Seo-won before, strangely, when he was with Seo-won, he wanted to get married and start a family together. He could be sure this wasn’t a simple thought that arose because of the imprint.
“…I want to get married.”
Do-gyeom muttered softly and buried his face in Seo-won’s shoulder. As his breath touched, Seo-won mumbled as if ticklish and flinched slightly.
He didn’t know what kind of child Tteokbokki would be, who they would resemble in appearance, or what their personality would be like. However, the thought that if it was him, Seo-won, and Tteokbokki, they could form a happier family than anyone else didn’t fade all night.