If You Want Me - Episode 85
<Episode 85>
“S-Seo-won?”
When Seo-won suddenly started crying without a word, Do-gyeom stuttered as if greatly flustered. His two eyes that met Seo-won’s were seen wandering for a moment, not knowing what to do.
Do-gyeom visibly stiffened, then soon took a step closer to Seo-won and embraced his upper body. Naturally, Seo-won ended up burying his face in Do-gyeom’s firm shoulders.
“Hic…”
“Why, hah… Why are you crying? Don’t cry.”
Do-gyeom urgently blurted out random words to comfort Seo-won. He was embracing him and patting his back to console him, but his tone and voice were filled with signs of wandering. Even without knowing why he was crying, he looked like he was at a loss trying to comfort him because he wanted to.
It was a clumsy consolation, and Seo-won was someone who would be startled just by overlapping hands. However, this time, he didn’t feel like pushing Do-gyeom away.
Seo-won gently grabbed Do-gyeom’s waist and buried his face in his firm shoulders. After soaking Do-gyeom’s shirt with tears for a long time, Seo-won belatedly mumbled in a sobbing voice,
“Hic… If you do this much and later say it was because of the one-sided imprint… hic, I’ll really be in big trouble. Then you’d really be a bad person…”
“I won’t. I was just too late to realize. Like a fool.”
“Really…?”
“Yeah, just trust me one more time.”
Do-gyeom spoke as if begging.
Truthfully, Seo-won was still confused. He thought Do-gyeom’s feelings of liking him could be artificial feelings that arose from “accidentally” imprinting on him.
Some people might say if he imprinted, even by mistake, doesn’t that mean he likes him, what’s the problem with that, but Seo-won didn’t like that kind of love. It might be that he wanted something too dramatic, but he wanted a love where hearts connected, not a love done out of having no choice due to an imprint.
So even while rejecting Do-gyeom thinking it wasn’t sincere, on the other hand, he was excessively swayed by Do-gyeom’s actions. When he was very young, they were in the relationship of a young master and a housekeeper’s son, and before, they were in the superior and subordinate relationship of pheromone partners, so he thought maybe bending to Do-gyeom was a habit that hadn’t been fixed yet…
Looking back now, the thought occurred to him that perhaps unconsciously, the feeling of receiving love from Do-gyeom was so good that he was dragged along.
To the extent that he had such thoughts, he also wanted to try believing in Do-gyeom.
What should I do? As he hesitated, afraid of his own figure getting hurt, Do-gyeom continued.
“I know I didn’t give you much trust. I also know why you can’t like me.”
“…”
“But now that I know my feelings, I won’t do that anymore. I know you might not be able to believe these words either, but I… I want you to imprint on me.”
“Imprint…?”
“Yeah.”
Imprint? When Seo-won asked to confirm if he heard correctly, Do-gyeom released his embracing hands, took a step back, and nodded.
Seo-won looked at him with surprised eyes and swallowed. With a one-sided imprint, there was at least a way to undo it. Resignation. A mutual imprint could also be undone if they wanted to, but if they had a mutual imprint, they would like each other so much they would die, so there would be no chance to resign.
In other words, saying he wanted a mutual imprint went beyond simply saying let’s meet or let’s date… It was no different from promising a lifetime together.
As he fixed his gaze on Do-gyeom, wondering if he meant it sincerely, Do-gyeom spoke as if driving it in.
“I want to marry you.”
“…”
Marriage…
They had already known each other for a long time, and considering they had held hands, hugged, kissed, had sex, and even gotten pregnant, they could get married before dating. It was fairly common to skip everything else and get married just out of a sense of responsibility for the child.
However, he never dreamed he would hear such words from Do-gyeom. It was too soon since he confessed he liked him, and he didn’t know Do-gyeom was thinking that far.
When Seo-won was dumbfounded and couldn’t say anything, Do-gyeom made a bitter smile.
“I know I’m being too hasty, and it might seem like I’m doing this because of the one-sided imprint. But I’m sincere. To the extent that I want to watch Tteokbokki grow up by your side and be together…”
“…”
“Not like before, now I want to seriously be with you.”
Do-gyeom confessed while making direct eye contact with Seo-won. His completely black eyes contained a firm will not to lie.
When Seo-won didn’t say anything with a surprised face, Do-gyeom smiled weakly as if he expected such a reaction and opened his mouth.
“I didn’t bring it up asking you to do it right away. It could be burdensome and you might not like it. But I sincerely want a future where I imprint with you, marry you, and be together with Tteokbokki.”
“…”
Rather than burdensome or disliking it, he was surprised…
He could have said let’s take a little more time, let’s think about it more, and passed over this situation. But perhaps it was because his emotions became too heightened after the misunderstanding was cleared up. Seo-won thought for a moment, then replied to Do-gyeom’s words assuming “what if”.
“I understand what you mean, Young Master. But… would it be okay even if I can never imprint on you?”
“Why are you already thinking like that?”
When Seo-won asked with the impossibility of imprinting in mind, Do-gyeom’s eyebrows drooped in a 八 shape.
If both weren’t imprinted and only one had a one-sided imprint, even if they met with good feelings, one side couldn’t help but feel insecure. Because one person could leave at any time.
It wasn’t that Seo-won didn’t want to imprint on Do-gyeom. If they were to seriously be together, he also wanted to imprint on him and have a love where they couldn’t live without each other. However…
“Well… I’ve liked you for a long time but haven’t imprinted on you until now. And it’s true there are parts that are hard to believe… So maybe I won’t be able to ever imprint on you.”
“…”
“Imprinting… is based on trust.”
As he saw before on a Q&A site, imprinting wasn’t something everyone could do just by loving each other. Like love, it had to be premised on complete trust in each other.
The reason Seo-won hadn’t accidentally imprinted on Do-gyeom even after liking him for so long and physically uniting countless times… must have been because he thought there was no way Do-gyeom could love him.
Do-gyeom said he had liked him for a long time, kept asking him to believe in him, and Seo-won also somewhat believed him, but the hurt he received from Do-gyeom was also big. Because the situation in which Do-gyeom imprinted on him wasn’t ordinary, he ended up having bad thoughts that maybe Do-gyeom abnormally imprinted on him.
So even if he gave Do-gyeom a chance… Even if it really led to the marriage Do-gyeom hoped for, he wasn’t confident if he could imprint on Do-gyeom.
When Seo-won asked with that part in mind, Do-gyeom thought for a bit and then spoke.
“Not being able to imprint doesn’t mean your feelings are a lie.”
“…”
“If we try and it doesn’t work… then that will be my fault for being lacking. I’ll make an effort.”
Do-gyeom said there was no need to imprint on him, but at the same time, he took responsibility saying it would be his fault for not giving Seo-won trust if they met but Seo-won couldn’t imprint.
“Please like me a little. Seo-won.”
“…”
At his words as if driving it in, Seo-won bit the inside of his mouth.
His reason said not yet, that he couldn’t believe it, but his heart kept following Do-gyeom. That discrepancy was so hard on him.
Even if he believed Do-gyeom truly loved him, a difficult future together was clearly visible. So he knew it was right to pull out his foot at this point.
However, people didn’t always make ideal choices. Just because he had a one-sided love for Do-gyeom, he became his pheromone partner, continued that relationship for 6 years, and one day ended up having a child after spending a heat cycle and rut together. On top of that, it was a series of unexpected things including Do-gyeom having a one-sided imprint on him.
As a result, he wanted to try dating while receiving love at least once, the way he had hoped and wished for so much. That desire suddenly raised its head, making it hard to refuse.
Until now, he had retreated even after receiving Do-gyeom’s confession because he was afraid of being rejected by him, but they were just going to try meeting for now… He wanted to stop having a hard time and try doing something like real lovers.
Like how he did with his mom today, he wanted to go to a baby supplies store with Do-gyeom and pick out things for the baby. Even if it was a midsummer night’s dream, he wanted to try it.
Because it seemed like if it wasn’t with him, he wouldn’t be able to experience this kind of love.
“I’ll try believing that you liked me…”
“…”
“Please help me love you again.”
Greed snowballed and kept growing, and after agonizing, Seo-won hesitantly opened his mouth.
Then Do-gyeom’s eyes that were quietly listening widened for a moment. As if he never even dreamed a positive answer would come from Seo-won, he was surprised and then gradually contorted his face.
“…Seo-won.”
Speaking in a slightly shaking voice, before showing any definite reaction, he cupped Seo-won’s cheeks with both hands.
Do-gyeom bent his waist and pressed his lips against Seo-won’s soft lips.
“Mmph…”
Seo-won was a little surprised by the kiss that came without warning, but gently closed his eyes.
Now that he decided to believe in Do-gyeom… He didn’t think he should refuse.
He wanted to accept Do-gyeom without any more bad thoughts.