If You Want Me - Episode 82
<Episode 82>
When Seo-won said not to worry about money with that thought, Ji-hee’s eyes widened. It was already shocking that what he had spent so far was Seo-won’s money, but to think he had been swiping someone else’s money. It was even more shocking.
“What? Y-y-young Master’s money? Is it okay to use Young Master’s money like this?”
“Yes, he said to use it as I please.”
“For what reason?”
“I told you before that I came to Seoul this time because Young Master persuaded me. This is part of that.”
“Using Young Master’s money is part of it?”
Ji-hee made an expression that she couldn’t understand. What kind of persuasion did Do-gyeom use that it included spending money extravagantly?
“Yes, he said he’d prefer if I didn’t work since I’m pregnant. He said to use this card for overall expenses for the baby and anything else I need to spend money on.”
“I understand if it’s for that, but… is it okay to buy my clothes with it too?”
“Yes, he said it doesn’t matter. Oh, and he said he put 100 million won in my account too. He said to use that if I need it, and to let him know if I need more.”
“100 million won?! No, why would you need more… What the…”
At Seo-won’s explanation, Ji-hee mumbled as if she understood if that was the case, but was startled at the mention of 100 million won. Even more surprised at the following remark that he would give more if needed, she stopped and started several times trying to say something. Her head was filled with too many thoughts.
Ji-hee closed her mouth for a moment and became lost in thought. She could understand Do-gyeom feeling some responsibility for the baby and supporting him since he even confessed. She thought giving a black card along with 100 million won was excessive, but Do-gyeom was a top chaebol in Korea so maybe his scale was different.
But maybe it was because she had never been in a situation like this? Even though she had heard explanations from Seo-won about what happened, she couldn’t understand this situation.
“I thought before he was the son of the housekeeper and Young Master. After that, a staff member and subordinate… Then suddenly you come back pregnant, he says he likes you, even has a one-sided imprint… And now you’re even receiving financial support from him?”
“…That’s how it turned out.”
“No, not that’s how it turned out… What exactly is your relationship?”
It seemed like they were seriously dating but also not… She didn’t understand why the world of these kids was so complicated.
When Ji-hee asked with such curiosity, Seo-won scratched his neck saying “Well…” and belatedly opened his mouth.
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far either… Rather than what kind of relationship, isn’t it that we’re together because we need each other?”
“A relationship based on need?”
“Yes. Young Master needs me because of the one-sided imprint, and I need to protect the baby. It seems like a relationship that will become nothing once the imprint is broken.”
I don’t know how to explain this… Seo-won self-deprecatingly muttered. It was so bitter that there was no other way to explain this situation.
As he muttered in an unconfident voice, Ji-hee looked at Seo-won with a serious expression and said,
“Seo-won. You seem… you seem to have changed.”
“Me?”
“How should I say it… You never used to be like this, but you seem very tired now. You seem to have become more suspicious too.”
“…”
Ji-hee couldn’t fully understand the heartache her child had experienced. Even if she heard about it, it wasn’t something she experienced herself, and their environments and personalities were different too.
However, she could clearly tell that her child, whom she had watched all her life, had changed. Her child was not this self-deprecating and gloomy. He was timid and fearful, but not to this extent. Seeing him change as if he had been greatly hurt and traumatized, it pained her heart as his parent.
You could have a little more confidence… She said with such regret, but Seo-won shook his head with a powerless smile.
“I know too. But… I don’t want to be rejected twice. I think this is just right.”
“I can’t say anything if that’s how you feel, but… are you really happy now? Are you satisfied?”
“…”
Seo-won tightly closed his mouth at Ji-hee’s question.
If asked if he was satisfied with the current situation, he wasn’t. His desire for Do-gyeom’s love was the same as ever, and every time he handed over the black card at the register, it felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t.
But he had no idea how to make things better than they were now. Running away was useless, and what more did he have to do when Do-gyeom had an alpha omega who could replace him…
Even as Seo-won felt himself becoming gloomy, he stubbornly refused to bend his opinion.
“Still, I want to try it. We might unexpectedly be a good match.”
“…Okay. Then let’s buy some clothes for you after eating. I’m done with mine now.”
She spoke with a dissatisfied face, as if there was nothing she could do about Seo-won’s will. Seo-won slowly nodded at that.
As they were talking, the waiter must have prepared the food, moving the dishes onto the table. Although Seo-won’s mood was at rock bottom due to the earlier conversation, he picked up his spoon thinking it would get better as he ate.
* * *
“Seo-won, are you really okay with just that? You bought a lot for mom.”
As soon as Seo-won left the men’s clothing store, Ji-hee asked, drooping her eyebrows in a八shape. The implication was that he bought a lot when choosing his mother’s clothes, but why wasn’t he picking out his own clothes?
“Hmm… There aren’t as many clothes I like as I thought. Still, this is enough for me. I won’t have to worry about clothes to wear this year.”
“There were a lot of pretty clothes though…”
Seo-won gave an awkward laugh at his mother’s regretful words. They say people who have spent money know how to spend it, and people who have worn clothes know how to pick them well. When he actually tried to buy his own clothes, nothing caught his eye.
Still, following Do-gyeom around, he knew how wealthy madams around his mother’s age dressed and what the trends were, so it was easy to choose his mother’s clothes, bags, and such. They had a fairly good relationship as mother and son, so he also knew what style she liked.
However, when he actually tried to choose clothes for himself to wear, his hand didn’t readily reach out. He ended up criticizing this and that, thinking it wouldn’t suit him or he probably wouldn’t wear it if he bought it. He was buying it thinking he would freely spend Do-gyeom’s money anyway, and he could just not wear it if he didn’t like it… But he couldn’t do that.
In the end, Seo-won picked out three or four sets of tops and bottoms that he could wear this season and left the men’s clothing store. For Seo-won who only bought a few pieces of clothing a year, it was close to overspending, but if he thought of it as something he was doing to make Do-gyeom’s affection fall, it was a very small splurge.
Seo-won asked the staff to send most of the luggage home, then sat down to rest in the rest area located in the center of the department store.
“Phew…”
As soon as he sat down, Seo-won unconsciously tapped and rubbed his lower back with his hand.
Not only had his stamina decreased after pregnancy, but his lower back ached dully from time to time. It was probably because his belly was getting heavier.
Seo-won narrowed his eyes slightly and let out a small sigh that only he could hear. But Ji-hee must have heard it too, because she rubbed Seo-won’s back for him with a worried face.
“If you’re tired, should we go back now? I think we can stop now. It’s not like today is the only day. The department store, we can come again next time.”
“…Shall we?”
“Yeah. I’m tired now too, so let’s sit for a bit and then go in.”
He didn’t think he could spend all of Do-gyeom’s money today. He felt he had sufficiently done his job for today as an example. Seo-won nodded at her words, saying let’s do that.
After resting for a bit, he got up from his seat to go back now. As he was about to leave the department store and call a taxi, Seo-won’s gaze suddenly fixed on one place.
“I… Mom. Let’s stop by there for a bit.”
“Huh? Okay.”
At Seo-won’s request, Ji-hee looked at the building and nodded.
That place was none other than a baby supplies store.
Seo-won thought there wouldn’t be much he could buy since he didn’t even know the baby’s gender yet and the baby wasn’t born. He hadn’t thought it was necessary yet either.
But for some reason, the small baby clothes visible even from outside the building caught his eye and he wanted to go in and see.
Ding-a-ling!
“Welcome.”
As Seo-won and Ji-hee opened the door and entered the store, the small bell attached to the door rang and an employee smiled brightly and greeted the two.
The employee must not have seen the pregnant person, because they spoke with a friendly face.
“Are you looking for something specific? If it’s a gift, I can recommend something.”
“Oh, no… We’re not looking for anything, we’ll just look around.”
“Ah! Then feel free to look around. Let me know if you have any questions.”
The employee stepped back without asking further, as if not wanting to burden them. They were a kind employee.
Mom also quietly looked around inside, and Seo-won also turned his gaze here and there, taking in the baby supplies inside.
There were many lovely items that would catch the eye of first-time parents. Pacifier clips, teethers, rabbit and teddy bear stuffed animals that would be cute to hold with tiny hands, and cute mobiles to hang from the ceiling.
Seo-won smiled faintly at the lovely designs.
‘It would have been nice if Young Master came together too… Tteokbokki would like it a lot too.’
Seo-won, who had unconsciously had such thoughts, shook his head vigorously to erase the thought. Are you crazy. Why are you thinking that? There won’t be such a thing anyway, so it’s best for him not to have expectations.
The sight of him loving Tteokbokki that Seo-won saw must have all been lies too. He wasn’t usually very fond of children, so his admiration upon seeing Tteokbokki must have been an act.
He stopped thinking useless thoughts and was looking at the items again when Seo-won’s eyes were suddenly captivated by one item.
“It’s cute…”
What Seo-won discovered was a pair of shoes smaller than his palm. They were knitted with thick beige yarn and were so lovely and cute.
Tteokbokki would look so cute wearing these shoes. He thought so even though he didn’t know what Tteokbokki looked like.
As he was touching the shoes without realizing it and was lost in appreciation for a while, his mother, who had quickly looked around, stood next to Seo-won and asked in a small voice.
“Do you like that?”
“…Because it’s cute. But it might not fit, right?”
“If it’s pretty, you should buy it. If you buy 120 to 130, the baby will be able to wear them for a long time. Or even just buying it and keeping it in the room makes you feel different. I did that before you were born too.”
Ji-hee led him towards buying it, saying it wasn’t necessarily useless. He was tempted by the words that the baby would be able to wear them for a long time, but he was a little worried that if he bought them and Tteokbokki couldn’t be born well, it would only hurt his heart. The hospital said the baby was growing well, but still, he was an alpha omega and it was true that he was anxious…
As he was worrying for that reason, his mother glanced at him and asked.
“Should I buy this for you?”
“…No, I’ll buy it.”
His mother must have thought he felt guilty about spending too much money, so she talked about buying it herself.
Seo-won pondered for a moment and bought the baby shoes, then left the store. He hadn’t intended to buy something like this, but now that he bought it, he felt proud.
After taking a taxi and returning home, Seo-won put the baby shoes on his desk and stared at them for a long time.
Looking at them, he suddenly felt like donating to a single mother support group, so he abruptly donated 30 million won. When buying clothes, it felt like buying something that didn’t fit… but somehow when buying shoes for the baby and donating, it felt like he did the right thing.
Even though it was the same act of spending money, he vaguely thought there were things that were right for him to do.