If You Want Me - Episode 68
<Episode 68>
It all seemed like a lie. That was the only way he could think of it. Rather, the thought that he might be coaxing him with nice words to get him off the island and then take him to the hospital gained credibility.
No matter what, isn’t it too much to use his feelings of liking him to do that? It’s not like he’s playing around with a person…
As Seo-won bit his lower lip, suppressing emotions that felt like tears would burst out, Do-gyeom covered his forehead with his palm as if he also didn’t expect this, and lamented.
“I misunderstood back then. Because you’re a recessive omega. So I couldn’t think that it was because I liked you.”
“What does me being a recessive omega have to do with that?”
Seo-won gave up even a hint of hope and answered coldly. He had liked him so much, but now it felt like even those feelings were depleted and he couldn’t believe his words.
As Seo-won turned cold and asked, Do-gyeom seemed a bit flustered. But as if he had no intention of backing down easily, he continued persuading.
“You might not know, but… usually dominant alphas aren’t drawn to recessive omegas by constitution. They say they don’t do such inefficient things.”
“Liking a recessive omega is an inefficient thing for a dominant alpha?”
“That’s what they all say. Because it’s hard to have superior traits if you meet a recessive omega.”
“Ha…”
Seo-won let out an empty laugh at Do-gyeom’s words.
Listening quietly, now he was even making disparaging remarks about recessive omegas.
Of course, it wasn’t wrong to say it was inefficient. Just as Seo-won originally had a high probability of manifesting as a beta, there was a familial influence on constitution.
That’s why it was a well-known fact that most people from wealthy families married between dominants and had children. Since it was proven that the dominant constitution was sturdy and superior, he could understand that everyone wanted their child to be born dominant.
But what? He’s not drawn to them by constitution because it’s inefficient? He had never heard such a thing. If he had said their levels didn’t match, or as such a solid family he had the fate of having to bear a dominant child so he couldn’t meet a recessive, and that’s why he had been denying his feelings, he might have understood.
“You should lie in moderation. Making disparaging remarks about recessive omegas while saying you like me? Do I look like an idiot who would believe that?”
“An idiot… Why are you talking like that? I’m not looking down on recessive omegas, it’s true. So it was a bit hard for me to admit that I liked you, thinking I was abnormal.”
“Admitting you like me is acknowledging you’re abnormal? Ha…”
The more he talked, the more suffocating it got. He knew that as an excellent dominant alpha, he might find other constitutions trivial. He was the one who had told him before that even if he graduated from a Korean university as a recessive omega, would there be a company that could use him?
Since the social atmosphere didn’t favor recessive omegas, he thought he could think that way. But… He didn’t know he had such discriminatory thoughts to this extent.
Honestly, it was even disappointing. How far do I have to see his bottom… It was as if the whole world was helping him let go of his feelings for him.
He was so tired that he didn’t even want to deal with him anymore. Seo-won let out a deep sigh and got up from the bench.
“Let’s stop. It would be less disappointing if you were honest.”
“What do you want me to be honest about? Sigh, what do I have to do for you to believe me?”
Do-gyeom spoke as if it was frustrating, but grabbed Seo-won’s wrist, telling him not to go.
The hand grabbing him was trembling slightly and the eyes looking up at him shone pitifully. If he had seen this before, he would have thought he was sincere and let it go, but his heart that had once turned cold showed no sign of melting. Rather, he reacted more cynically.
He’s really… good at acting. Well, he’s someone who’s good at everything.
He was about to coolly shake off his hand without bothering to answer anymore, but Do-gyeom opened his mouth faster than that.
“I love you.”
“…”
At the low voice, Seo-won flinched and stiffened.
Realizing Seo-won was shaken, Do-gyeom spoke again desperately.
“I love you, Seo-won.”
He pulled Seo-won’s hand he was holding and gently pressed his lips to the white back of his hand.
Smack. Smack… Like someone proposing, his lips lightly touched and left the back of his hand as if he couldn’t bear the loveliness.
As Seo-won stiffly froze and didn’t say anything, he must have thought it was hard to change his mind just by kissing the back of his hand, so his lips slowly climbed up his wrist.
Heat rose from where he touched and his body trembled finely. As he kept kissing and climbing up several times, his shoulders shook.
It seemed if he didn’t stop him, he would keep kissing here and there all over his body. Seo-won came to his senses with a start and pulled out his hand.
“No… stop, stop… Don’t say anymore.”
No matter how much of a man who was good at everything, it was hard to think this was acting too.
Until just now, he had suspected that he was lying that he liked him to make it easy to coax him. But since he didn’t come alone and even brought Secretary Bae, there was no need to go this far, catering to his whims and making such unbelievable confessions. With two alphas, it wasn’t even a big deal to forcibly take one recessive omega.
He was a man of unparalleled dignity, so there was even less reason for him to confess his love like this, kiss the back of his hand, and gaze at him with deep eyes.
“Ah, I get it. That you like me…”
“You believe me?”
At Seo-won’s words, Do-gyeom showed a relieved expression, urgently brightening up.
That made him more certain. It seemed it really wasn’t a lie, and he was genuinely drawn to him. But there was a problem with this too.
“Yes, but you’re having a huge misunderstanding right now.”
“…Misunderstanding?”
Do-gyeom frowned one eyebrow as if asking what that meant.
“You’ve imprinted on me one-sidedly, right? So it’s understandable you think you like me. Once the imprint is undone, you’ll regret why you clung to a recessive omega like me.”
“No I won’t!”
Seo-won said it meaning not to do something he would regret, but Do-gyeom denied it, raising his voice.
As Seo-won was startled and widened his eyes at the sudden loud voice, Do-gyeom seemed to realize his mistake, covered his mouth with his hand, and let out a lamenting sigh.
“No, sigh… I’m sorry for raising my voice. But if it was because of the imprint, I would have accepted when you confessed.”
“…”
“I don’t know why you can’t believe it, but it’s true. I’ve liked you for a long time.”
“Saying it’s been a long time… makes it even harder to believe.”
“I know, my attitude was lukewarm. But I couldn’t think of it as liking you back then.”
“No matter how much you didn’t know, do people usually react like that when someone they like confesses? It seems they wouldn’t show such a terrible reaction, even unconsciously.”
There were occasionally kids like that among those entering puberty. Kids who couldn’t express their affection to the child they liked, so they grumbled and bothered them for no reason.
If he had shown a reaction at that cute level, he might have understood. But Do-gyeom… wasn’t at that level. After showing such a terrible reaction to his confession, saying now that he had liked him for a long time made no sense.
As Seo-won coldly retorted, telling him not to lie, Do-gyeom showed a reaction of being absurd and unfair. He mumbled his lips as if it was complicated and desperately explained the reason.
“When did I ever show a terrible reaction… It might have seemed that way to you, but I was just so flustered then.”
“…”
“I never even thought you would like me while we were together, and then you suddenly said you were even pregnant…”
“Young master.”
Do-gyeom tried to explain, stumbling over his words unlike himself, but Seo-won opened his mouth without listening to the end of his words. His voice ceased as if it were a lie.
“Even so, nothing changes.”
“Why… does nothing change? We can just date.”
His asking voice shook a little. It was a very anxious voice, as if a whirlpool was spinning inside him.
“I told you I want to stop seeing you now. How many times do I have to say it?”
“…”
At Seo-won’s resolute rejection, Do-gyeom’s face completely contorted. He looked as if he would shed tears if poked.
Even though he had seen him get angry a few times, it was the first time seeing him crumble like this, so his heart stung.
His feelings for him weren’t the same as before, but perhaps because he saw his desperate appearance, his heart wavered a bit. He had even shed tears as soon as he saw him, and his gaze had been drawn to his haggard appearance, so it was more so.
According to the doctor, the one-sided imprint could be undone if he gave up his feelings for himself. He couldn’t understand the word “give up”, but anyway, it meant it could be undone.
What if he returned to his side now and his imprint suddenly came undone? The image of him abandoning him right away, saying it was a misunderstanding, was vivid before his eyes. Could he endure that then?
No, he wouldn’t be able to do that. Even though he had tried to let go of his feelings for several months, he still hadn’t been able to completely give up on his feelings for him, so if he went back now, it was obvious that he would like him even more than before.
So before his feelings grew even more. He had to push him away now.