If You Want Me - Episode 60
<Episode 60>
“I’m leaving for the day. Everyone go home early.”
Do-gyeom left the executive director’s office as soon as it was six o’clock.
Usually he had so much work that he rarely left on time, so the employees were quite surprised to see Do-gyeom sharply leaving work as soon as it was time. Since he was so rarely seen leaving work, a few small voices could be heard whispering “I’m seeing the director for the first time today.”
His high position as well as his attention-grabbing looks drew interest even just by him leaving, but Do-gyeom completely ignored those and got in his car.
“Head to Yoon Seo-won’s parents’ house.”
“Yes, sir.”
The driver answered concisely and immediately started the car. There was no need to explain the address as he had been there a few times before.
Both the company and Seo-won’s parents’ house were in Gangnam, so it wasn’t very far. There was some traffic congestion since it was rush hour, but they were still able to arrive at his house quite early.
He thought Yoon Seo-won might have gone down to the countryside by now since a few days had passed, but one couldn’t be sure. And since Seo-won was someone who really loved his mother, Do-gyeom thought there was about a 50% chance he would be at this house.
If only his mother was there it would be awkward, but… it would still be convenient to ask about Yoon Seo-won’s whereabouts. Since she was the person closest to him.
Thinking that, Do-gyeom got out of the car and slowly pressed the doorbell.
Ding dong!
The ringing doorbell sounded crisp.
Only after pressing the bell did reality sink in and his heart started pounding. Was this how Yoon Seo-won felt the day he confessed to him? It was hard to calm his excited heart.
He had tidied himself up before coming, but he was worried if he looked presentable enough and regretted not wearing lighter clothes to not look old. Even though he realized it was a lie that Seo-won liked Lee Jihwan, it still bothered him.
But the die was already cast. Since he couldn’t take it back, he was waiting while steadying the voice that Seo-won had previously complimented as good, when he heard the sound of the front door opening inside.
Soon the door opened with a rough bang! and quick footsteps gradually approached.
Was Seo-won rushing out knowing it was him? It had never happened before, but maybe he had figured out Do-gyeom was coming to confess and ran out.
As he was thinking that to his own liking and slightly raising the corners of his mouth-
“Seo-won!”
“…Mother?”
The person who appeared when the door opened was not Seo-won, but his mother.
He was taken aback. Not only was he surprised that someone else came out when he was certain Seo-won would… her appearance was also a little unfamiliar.
She seemed to have just rushed out in a hurry, so her slippers didn’t match, and it wasn’t her usual neat appearance. Her hair was disheveled, her skin dull… The dark circles under her eyes were especially deep.
Above all, it was strange how she was urgently calling for Seo-won, not him.
“Oh… Young master?”
While Do-gyeom blinked, not knowing what to say, a disappointed look appeared on her face as she grasped the situation.
What happened that she was so urgently looking for Yoon Seo-won? Do-gyeom tilted his head to one side and asked with a puzzled look.
“Did something happen?”
“…Did you come to see Seo-won?”
“Yes, but why? What’s going on?”
Do-gyeom answered indifferently, but it was unclear if she heard him or not with her vacant eyes. Her eyes were so hollow it was hard to tell where she was looking.
Was she sick somewhere? As Do-gyeom was carefully observing her condition, she moved her parched lips.
“Seo-won…”
“……”
“Please find Seo-won.”
She mumbled in a crawling voice, then looked up at Do-gyeom with teary eyes.
Until just now, she had a face with an expression too complex to describe, but suddenly her nose reddened and her face contorted as if she would burst into tears at any moment.
As she swayed, looking like she would collapse at any moment, Do-gyeom grabbed her with a startled face.
“You want me to find him? What do you mean by that?”
“He hasn’t come home or been reachable for a while now. He suddenly went somewhere and changed his phone number too…”
“……”
“I filed a missing persons report with the police but they just told me to wait a few more days since he’s an adult… But Seo-won isn’t that kind of kid.”
“…A missing persons report?”
What was this all of a sudden?
He had heard from Secretary Bae that Seo-won had canceled his phone. But he hadn’t thought deeply about it. His phone could have broken, or he could have had some change of heart.
But he never even considered that Seo-won’s mother wouldn’t be able to contact him either. To the point of filing a missing persons report.
His heart felt like it plummeted to the floor and all the blood drained from his body. He couldn’t believe it, but her state proved it was true.
Right when he realized he liked Yoon Seo-won, what was this…? It made no sense. What happened to Seo-won? An accident? He absolutely couldn’t regain his composure.
“Uh, when did he disappear? I’ll go look for him right away.”
“It’s been a few days. The last time I saw him… was the 13th.”
“……”
Do-gyeom froze like a stone upon hearing the date.
The 13th. It wasn’t a special date, but that day was definitely…
“He went out for a bit in the morning saying he had something to do… Then he sent a message saying he had something he needed to do, and that was the last.”
“……”
“Do you… know something?”
Seeing Do-gyeom’s expression turn chilly, she cautiously asked as if sensing his unusual reaction.
He had to answer but his mouth wouldn’t easily open as if it was glued shut.
How could he not know? That day…
“That morning, I was… with him.”
It was the day Yoon Seo-won confessed to him.
Do-gyeom moved his lips a few times like a criminal making a confession, and only after a long while did he barely make a sound. At that, her eyes widened as if she never even considered the possibility.
“You were with him? D-did Seo-won say anything that day?”
She grabbed Do-gyeom’s hand tightly. Her trembling hand desperate to grasp even a single clue to find her son was pitiful.
To help a mother searching for her son who disappeared overnight, he had to disclose anything. But he couldn’t bring himself to say that Seo-won had confessed his love to him that day, and that he was even pregnant with his child.
What did he say to Yoon Seo-won that day? He remembered not even replying to his sincere confession that he had only liked him for years, and even cursing harshly at the news of the pregnancy.
The back of Yoon Seo-won walking out of the director’s office coldly came to mind, as Do-gyeom had told him that he must be crazy to give his heart to someone like him and that he never wanted to see him again.
Could he have left because of him? Yoon Seo-won, who had gone down to the remote countryside saying he would end their relationship as pheromone partners, could have done that this time too.
But the situation wasn’t the same as back then. Now his phone was completely canceled and he had even left without telling his mother his whereabouts. There was no doubt he had stubbornly made up his mind to leave Do-gyeom.
He wanted to think that was the case.
But what if it wasn’t? What if there had been an accident? What if someone bad had harmed him?
Or even… what if he had made an extreme choice?
Everything went dark before his eyes. He thought he had the most brilliant mind, but right now it was like it was broken and he couldn’t think at all.
* * *
“Haa…”
On the day of the confession, as soon as Seo-won left Do-gyeom’s company, he sank to the floor right there.
He could feel passersby glancing at him, but he couldn’t stand up with no strength in his legs. He didn’t remember how he left the executive director’s office and the building.
He was afraid to go home. He had been secretly raising the child because he was scared of being abandoned by Do-gyeom, but after rashly confessing and seeing his cold reaction with his own eyes, he felt so sad and struggling that he had no will to do anything.
He thought he never expected to become someone special to Do-gyeom, that it was enough just to be by his side, but apparently not. After being rejected by him, it didn’t feel like a simple wound from a breakup, but like he had lost a goal in life and was adrift in a vast ocean.
“What should I do…? I really don’t know…”
He felt empty. If he received sincere comfort by his mother’s side, it would surely make him feel a bit better, but if he stayed in Seoul, Do-gyeom might come and tell him to get rid of the baby.
He hadn’t said that today, but he could have forgotten in his shock at the bombshell. Seeing his reaction, cursing and asking if Seo-won hadn’t taken birth control with a pale face, it was obvious he would make such a demand before long.
“I can’t do that.”
His thoughts reaching there, Seo-won fiercely focused his eyes and grasped his mind properly.
He recalled what the doctor had said before, that he needed to become even stronger at times like this. If he crumbled, it would be the end for the baby too.
To Seo-won, Do-gyeom was an influential existence that occupied more than half his life, a beloved, but his child was just as precious. Hadn’t he vowed to protect little Sticky Rice and give birth no matter what?
Suddenly, he remembered what his mother said yesterday – that if he got dumped and was told to get rid of the baby, he could go abroad. He also thought disappearing for his and the baby’s sake wouldn’t be so bad.
Should he leave without thinking about money or anything? He had that thought, but unfortunately, his body wasn’t in a condition for that. If he took a plane during pregnancy, the risk of miscarriage would increase. It was the same for a cruise, not just a plane.
Damn it, was there nowhere to run? In the devastating situation, Seo-won wiped his haggard face and suddenly had a thought.
Wasn’t there somewhere in Korea too… where he could hide away?
Last time, his whereabouts had been discovered too easily, but if he didn’t act like before, maybe he wouldn’t be found out. Because last time, he rented a place under his name, and the new number was also under his name. He had also distributed his contact information while trying to find freelance work. It must have been a piece of cake for Do-gyeom to find his information.
Knowing his carelessness in the past, he felt like he could run away even better. Seo-won bit his lower lip hard, then put strength in his legs and stood up from his spot.
This time, I absolutely won’t be found out easily.
I’ll go somewhere no one knows.
With a firm resolve, the first thing Seo-won did was take out his cell phone.