If You Want Me - Episode 56
<Episode 56>
How many hours had they studied? The two left the library around six o’clock.
Seo-won seemed satisfied, as if studying at the library had been quite productive, but Do-gyeom felt differently.
After teaching Seo-won the math problem, Do-gyeom had felt unusually heated and distracted for some reason, making his subsequent studies feel like a blur. Even when he tried to consciously focus on solving math problems like before, it didn’t work well.
Feeling somewhat unsettled, Do-gyeom trudged home when a pink-signed ice cream shop caught his eye, glittering brightly.
The moment he saw it, Do-gyeom thought that seeing Seo-won eat like an idiot might help shake off this muddled feeling.
“Let’s have some ice cream before going home.”
“What? Aren’t we going straight home? I thought you didn’t even like sweets much.”
“It’s hot. Let’s go.”
Although Seo-won looked puzzled, Do-gyeom grabbed his wrist and entered the ice cream shop.
Being summer, he expected it to be crowded, but perhaps because it was dinnertime, it was less busy than anticipated. Do-gyeom made Seo-won sit in an empty seat and asked, “What flavor do you want?”
“I… Then, alien, I mean, chocolate flavor.”
“Wait here.”
Do-gyeom went to the counter and ordered two ice creams, cheesecake flavor for himself and chocolate with crunchy chocolate balls for Seo-won.
Even though Seo-won seemed reluctant before entering, he ate well when Do-gyeom actually bought him the ice cream. Do-gyeom himself didn’t particularly like sweets, so he only ate a bite or two, but he found joy in buying it for Seo-won every time.
As expected, watching Seo-won eat happily, the unsettling feeling gradually disappeared. As Do-gyeom rested his chin on his hand, openly observing Seo-won, Seo-won suddenly spoke as if he remembered something while eating the cheesecake-flavored ice cream.
“Come to think of it, tomorrow is your birthday, right?”
“Was it?”
“My mom mentioned it. She said she’s preparing for a party tomorrow.”
“They’re still doing that.”
A party, huh. Do-gyeom answered indifferently. He didn’t even know it was his birthday, as he didn’t consider it particularly special.
For Do-gyeom, his birthday was just an uncomfortable day. When he was young, he enjoyed the grand birthday parties his mother threw for him. It was a day when he was the main character, and everyone congratulated him. However, as he grew older, it seemed like more and more people were trying to take advantage of his birthday, so he gradually came to dislike it.
Most of the people who came to his birthday party, claiming to celebrate him, were people he had never even met before. They weren’t his age either, and it was frankly uncomfortable when much older adults came, pretended to be close, and treated him preciously, asking him to look upon them favorably.
I wish they wouldn’t hold a birthday party. As Do-gyeom was thinking that, Seo-won hesitantly asked after much fidgeting, “Is there anything you want to receive?”
“Not really…”
There wasn’t much he particularly wanted, as he already had most things. He could buy whatever he wanted, even if it wasn’t his birthday.
Do-gyeom answered vaguely, but then a sudden thought occurred to him, and he asked Seo-won in return, “Why, though? Are you going to buy me something?”
“Well… If it’s something I can afford.”
Seo-won wiggled his feet under the table, seemingly embarrassed.
Didn’t he say he received an allowance of 10,000 won a month? As far as Do-gyeom knew, even that was mostly spent on buying workbooks. The fact that Seo-won was willing to save that money to buy him a present felt quite admirable.
Do-gyeom could have easily said he wanted something small like a doll or a mechanical pencil, but somehow, even those seemed expensive by Seo-won’s standards. He didn’t want to take away Seo-won’s hard-earned money.
“It’s fine, just write me a letter.”
“A letter…? Are you sure that’s enough?”
“Yeah, but make it more than ten lines. I won’t accept it if it’s short.”
“…”
When Do-gyeom deliberately raised the difficulty, confusion appeared on Seo-won’s face. It was as if he was saying, “Just let me buy you a present instead.”
Seeing that, Do-gyeom let out a chuckle. He had suggested a letter as an alternative because he felt bad about taking Seo-won’s precious money, but he was curious to see what that tiny head of his would write.
* * *
“I’m home.”
The next day. After finishing his classes and returning home, the house seemed unusually bustling. They seemed to be preparing for his nineteenth birthday party.
What a bother… Do-gyeom took a cursory glance at the decorations being put up in the mansion and headed straight to the servants’ quarters where Seo-won stayed after just washing his hands. Rather than the birthday party, he was more interested in whether Seo-won had completed the mission he gave him yesterday.
What did he write in the letter? With anticipation filling his heart, Do-gyeom carefully avoided the eyes of the servants and gently opened the door to the servants’ quarters.
“…”
But the room was as quiet as a mouse. Do-gyeom thought no one was there, but then he noticed Seo-won lying on the floor, covered with a blanket.
Usually, Seo-won would look back from behind and smile brightly when Do-gyeom came, but today, he didn’t move at all. Is he sleeping? It’s the exam period, so he must be tired.
Thinking that, Do-gyeom was about to come back later, but upon closer inspection, he noticed the blanket slightly rising and falling.
“Hic…”
Making a very small sound.
What’s going on…? Feeling something strange, Do-gyeom carefully approached and saw that Seo-won was crying. Pitifully, even suppressing his sobs.
Without even knowing why he was crying, just seeing him weep made Do-gyeom’s heart ache as if it was being squeezed. Do-gyeom sat beside Seo-won and asked, checking his condition, “Seo-won, why are you crying?”
Did something bad happen at school? Does something hurt? All sorts of worries flooded in.
When Do-gyeom carefully asked, Seo-won, who had been sobbing and crying, slowly opened his eyes. Perhaps because tears had gathered, Do-gyeom’s reflection seemed to be visible in his transparent eyes.
“Hic…”
Do-gyeom had asked to comfort him, telling him not to cry, but for some reason, as soon as Seo-won saw Do-gyeom, he shed even more tears. The tears that had pooled in the corners of his eyes flowed down his temples in streams.
Seeing him cry while lying down had already made Do-gyeom’s heart tighten, but now, seeing him bawl at the sight of Do-gyeom, it felt like his heart would tear apart.
Do-gyeom wanted to tell him not to cry and console him somehow, but he had never comforted a crying person before, so he didn’t know how to handle it.
“Why, why are you like this? Does it hurt somewhere?”
“Hic, hic… Sob…”
“Why is your face so red?”
Do-gyeom placed his hand on Seo-won’s cheek, his face filled with worry.
Seo-won’s face felt hot under Do-gyeom’s palm. Is it not because something happened, but because he’s sick? Thinking he might have a fever, Do-gyeom was about to get a thermometer when suddenly, Seo-won rubbed his cheek against Do-gyeom’s hand. Seo-won’s tears smeared on Do-gyeom’s hand.
This is strange… Do-gyeom couldn’t move at all, as if he had a small, fragile animal on his hand. It felt like if he moved, he would shatter everything.
Barely able to breathe and stiffly frozen, Seo-won, who had been rubbing his cheek on Do-gyeom’s palm, suddenly opened his eyes and looked at Do-gyeom. A hint of reason seemed to have returned to his eyes.
“I’m sorry… It felt cool.”
“…”
I’m not mad. You can do it more…
Such thoughts crossed Do-gyeom’s mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to say them out loud. He couldn’t understand why he was having such thoughts himself.
Do-gyeom clenched and unclenched his hand, feeling the lingering sensation, and naturally changed the subject, saying, “No… There’s nothing to apologize for. But your body is like a fireball. Did you go to the hospital? Did you take any medicine?”
“No…”
“What? You’re on the verge of death, and you didn’t go to the hospital? I’ll call someone…”
“No, no, you can’t!”
Do-gyeom thought it was foolish that Seo-won didn’t go to the hospital when he was so sick and tried to take him to the hospital immediately, but Seo-won grabbed him urgently.
His hand was as small as a young child’s, and perhaps because he was sick, there was no strength in his grip. However, Do-gyeom couldn’t do anything, just like when Seo-won had rubbed his cheek on Do-gyeom’s hand earlier… as if an immense force had grabbed him.
Suddenly, Do-gyeom’s insides felt hot. He swallowed, feeling his throat burn.
“…Why can’t I?”
“No one else can know… that you met with me, young master…”
“When you’re on the brink of death, is that the issue right now?”
Do-gyeom thought Seo-won might have some serious reason, but… He’s not going to the hospital for that reason alone? In that condition?
It was frustrating. Do-gyeom spoke almost angrily, but Seo-won didn’t let go of his grip or budge on his opinion.
“If I get kicked out of here… I might never see you again, young master…”
“…”
Get kicked out…?
Do-gyeom had often threatened Seo-won with that when they were young, but he had never once thought it would actually happen.
He knew his parents would be furious if they found out he was secretly meeting with Seo-won. But the thought of never seeing him again… scared Do-gyeom too.
Seo-won must not want to part ways either, just like me. Understanding his feelings, Do-gyeom had no choice but to sit down next to him, their hips touching.
“Then, when is your mother coming back?”
“After your birthday party ends.”
The servants busily preparing for the birthday party in the living room came to mind. There was still a long way to go before the preparations were finished. That meant there was still a long time before Seo-won’s mother would return…
“Damn it, why was I born on a day like this…”
Do-gyeom muttered self-deprecatingly, his thoughts reaching that point.
Why was I born on a day like this? It’s not even a special day, but they’re decorating to hold a party, which felt bitter. If it weren’t today, he could have informed Seo-won’s mother and taken him to the hospital…
Still, as they continued to talk, Seo-won’s condition seemed to stabilize little by little. Do-gyeom knew it was hard to be alone when sick, so just staying by his side might have had an effect.
Do-gyeom was relieved that he could be of some help. As they somehow calmed Seo-won down and talked about this and that, a pleasant scent suddenly brushed past Do-gyeom’s nose.
It couldn’t be a scent coming from outside, as the door was tightly closed. Do-gyeom keenly raised his sense of smell, trying to find the source of the scent, and it seemed to be coming from Seo-won.
“Why do you suddenly smell good?”
“Me? I’ve been sweating a lot, though? I think it’s coming from you, young master, not me.”
“From me?”
“Yes, did you spray perfume?”
“No.”
No way. Do-gyeom’s mother often wore a lot of perfume, and whenever he was near her, it sometimes made his nose and head hurt, so he had a negative view of it. There was no way he would have sprayed perfume.
Do-gyeom denied it, thinking that way, but Seo-won made a puzzled expression.
“Wait… Can you come closer for a moment?”
“Why?”
Why tell someone to come and go? Do-gyeom had a prickly thought, but the other person was a patient. Do-gyeom had no choice but to lower his body and move closer to Seo-won.
Try doing something unnecessary. Do-gyeom was about to say something right away, but Seo-won suddenly hugged his neck and pulled him in.
It was a small force, but caught off guard, Do-gyeom was helplessly pulled in. Being suddenly pulled, he almost pressed his lips against Seo-won’s neck.
Do-gyeom’s heart was pounding in surprise, and when he buried his nose in Seo-won’s neck, the scent he had smelled earlier felt much stronger. Indeed… Seo-won smelled good.
No, but this scent… It’s not just giving a pleasant impression.
“I knew it was coming from you, young master. Then it must be your body scent.”
Seo-won’s voice ringing in Do-gyeom’s ear felt ticklish and stimulating, as if it was sticking to his mucous membrane. That was also when Do-gyeom felt a sudden tug in his lower abdomen.
“Huh…?”
“Damn it, Seo-won.”
Do-gyeom momentarily lost his reason. When he came to his senses, he was kissing Seo-won.