If You Want Me - Episode 18
<Episode 18>
What is this all of a sudden…
I opened my mouth to speak, but when he suddenly kissed me, my body stiffened in surprise.
As I was blinking cluelessly, a hand as big as a pot lid went under my loose t-shirt.
“Ngh…!”
Do-gyeom’s hand that went under the t-shirt pinched my protruding nipple.
Up until our first time being intimate, I didn’t even feel anything in my chest, but Do-gyeom had a tendency to obsess over my small buds.
Over the 6 years of being intimate 3-4 times a week, it had become a sensitive area just from a touch. Perhaps it became sensitive because there was never a chance for the swelling to go down.
Not only the physical stimulation, but the alpha pheromones flowing in through the kiss made my head hazy and body weaken.
I didn’t intend for this to happen today… I shouldn’t be doing this…
I seemed to succumb to my omega instincts and get swept away, but suddenly the two characters for “pregnancy” popped up vividly in my head that was being evaporated by the heat.
At those two characters, I came to my senses as if cold water had been dumped on me. I pushed against his chest with all my strength.
Do-gyeom, who had his kiss interrupted, seemed annoyed as he narrowed his brows and opened his eyes sharply.
“Haa… Why.”
“I, I said I have something… to tell you, young master.”
“Talk after we finish. It’s been two weeks.”
“This is… something I need to say now.”
“…”
When he entered the suite room, he looked to be in a good mood, but now he was extremely stern.
That was understandable. After returning from the US, I took time off, and thanks to his consideration I rested some more, so we were trying to be intimate for the first time in almost two weeks. We used to be intimate up to 4-5 times a week, but haven’t relieved pheromones at all for two weeks, so it must have accumulated a lot.
Do-gyeom sighed, controlled his urges, and made eye contact with me.
“What is it?”
In the two eyes meeting mine, there was an extremely displeased look that seemed to say “if you have something to say, say it quickly”, “why are you being a nuisance”, “it better not be anything trivial”…
In front of him, I was always obedient and tried to accommodate whatever he wanted as his loyal partner.
So it was extremely difficult to say this in front of him, but… I gulped my dry saliva, steeled myself, and carefully opened my mouth.
“I’m quitting being your partner… and living in your house too.”
“…What?”
“I’ll move my things out of the apartment soon. I’m sorry.”
Before Do-gyeom could say anything, I clearly stated my intention and apologized with a deep 90-degree bow.
After returning from the hospital, I made the tough decision to leave him without telling him and have the baby.
I didn’t particularly have any dreams about children, and even if it was the child of the person I liked, I thought there wasn’t much meaning to just having the baby alone. Not to mention how hard childcare was. Since my mom raised me alone, I knew better than anyone how difficult it was.
But strangely, my heart leaned more towards having the baby.
Since it had only been a few months, it was questionable to even call it a life yet, and it wasn’t that I had developed affection after finding out today.
However, low-fertility omegas not only had a low chance of conceiving, but if I got rid of it, it might become very difficult to ever have a child later, and that shook my heart. Getting rid of the baby was scary too, but the fear from the words that I may “never” be able to have a child was several times greater.
And whenever I was with Do-gyeom, I often had doubts about whether this was right. No matter how long I stayed as his partner, I couldn’t make his heart mine.
Rather than continuing this false hope, I reached the conclusion to sever ties with him using his child as an opportunity.
If there was one fortunate thing, it was that the contract I made with him didn’t specify a duration. It was made so either of us could terminate it first without any penalty.
So there was no issue even if I unilaterally said I was terminating it like this. But for some reason, I trembled with anxiety as if I had become a sinner.
As I acted differently than usual, Do-gyeom seemed a bit surprised and froze, then firmly grabbed both of my arms and asked as if it was strange.
“Wait, Yoon Seo-won. You need to speak so I can understand. Why are you suddenly saying you’re quitting? Didn’t you say to put that day behind us as a mistake?”
“…”
Not long ago, on the day we spent the heat cycle and rut together, Do-gyeom had suggested ending our partnership first but I refused.
I had even clung to him crying and begging. Because of that, Do-gyeom was seriously asking if there was a reason for my sudden change of heart.
A reason… It wouldn’t work to say I was quitting because this didn’t suit me and was shameful after doing it for the long period of 6 years, and even though the experiences with him were still painful and heavy, I was the one who climaxed and begged more on the bed.
And to make an excuse that someone else offered me better conditions, I was already receiving good terms, and he had the financial means to not be stingy about giving me a bit more money. Although I wasn’t sure if he would go as far as to raise the conditions to keep me.
I contemplated, moving my lips, then carefully spoke.
“I found someone I love.”
“What?”
“So I don’t think I can… continue this kind of relationship with you anymore, young master. I’m sorry.”
I demanded the end of this relationship with a reason that was a bit absurd even to me.
To tell the person I liked that I found someone else to love so I couldn’t be with him anymore. The thought that this situation was too self-deprecating and bitter made my eyes hot.
But if I cried, it would reveal that I wasn’t quitting for that reason. My vision blurred but I suppressed it hard to keep the tears from falling.
As I secretly bit my lower lip and pinched my thigh to hold back tears, there was no response from Do-gyeom.
An awkward silence flowed to the point it was uncomfortable. Suddenly, Do-gyeom asked a strange question.
“Who is it?”
It was an unexpected question. Because I thought he wouldn’t care who I was seeing.
I was a bit flustered, but as childhood friends who had known each other for a long time, he could be curious. After some thought, I answered.
“That’s… difficult for me to tell you, young master.”
“It’s obvious anyone you know would be someone around me, and you’re trying to hide that?”
“I’m sorry.”
I kept repeating that I was sorry. There was no other person, so I had nothing else to say either.
As I continuously avoided answering, he exuded an aura from his whole body that showed how unpleasant he found this situation. The fact that his pheromones enveloping the surroundings had subsided was proof of that.
Even in my opinion, I must have been a very convenient partner for him to relieve pheromones with. A low-fertility omega with a low chance of pregnancy who was also thoroughly discreet. And I obediently did as he asked no matter what. Since it was an unrequited love, there were some requests I accommodated, so it would be hard for him to find a partner as good as me.
Perhaps because of that, he seemed reluctant to let me go. As if he would offer some good conditions, I carefully added.
“Young master, the condition was that you would also terminate the partner contract if you found someone you love. I’m in that situation too. I don’t think I can continue this anymore. I’m sorry.”
“No, that’s… Sigh.”
Do-gyeom tried to say something but seemed at a loss for words as he let out a big sigh.
He looked down at me with eyes that seemed to have a lot to say, then ran his hand roughly through his hair and spoke as if complaining.
“Do as you like.”
“…Thank you for everything until now.”
With Do-gyeom’s permission, I bowed deeply to him in a respectful farewell and stepped past him.
Once I left this place, I would no longer have a reason to face Do-gyeom. He was someone hard to meet even by chance.
That was the most regrettable, but I left the room with heavy steps.
As soon as I closed the hotel room door and came out to the hallway, my legs gave out and I sank to the spot.
“Hic…”
The hot tears I had been holding back flowed down my cheeks.
We were really strangers now. If only I hadn’t made that mistake that day, I wouldn’t have ended things with Do-gyeom so abruptly like this.
While deeply regretting that, I tried to think it was for the best, because if it weren’t for this, I might have remained by his side as his partner forever.
* * *
“Vice President. I’ve compiled a list of new partner candidates. Please choose someone you like.”
In the executive office, Do-gyeom who had been working on other tasks stopped what he was doing at Secretary Bae’s words and took the file.
Having not been intimate for over a month since returning from the US, Do-gyeom had been struggling recently with pain from pheromone buildup. It was the first time he was having such trouble with pheromones even at the age of thirty-one.
He had been intimate with Yoon Seo-won 3-4 times a week, saying it was to relieve pheromone buildup, but actually there was no need to do it that frequently.
Taking him around to major schedules and overlapping bodies that often was purely his own greed, and usually being intimate about once a month didn’t cause much discomfort. When he studied abroad, he even resolved it by taking medication to regulate pheromones.
But for some reason, the medicine to regulate pheromones didn’t resolve it this time. It seemed this pain would only subside if he met a real omega.
Do-gyeom opened the file Secretary Bae handed him with an uncomfortable look. Inside was information on five low-fertility omegas. Since they had been carefully filtered, they would at least be safe omegas who wouldn’t act recklessly.
Since all he needed to do was overlap bodies and release pheromones, the only thing to look at was the face. As Do-gyeom flipped through the papers without much thought, Secretary Bae who had been watching spoke as if to show he had put in some extra consideration.
“I tried to narrow it down to people as similar to Mr. Yoon Seo-won as possible.”
“…Yoon Seo-won? Why?”
Do-gyeom raised his head, narrowing his brows at the indifferent question asking why he did such a useless thing.
Secretary Bae seemed quite flustered and answered while shifting his eyes a little.
“Didn’t you maintain a long partnership with Mr. Yoon Seo-won? It seemed your tastes matched well, and your personalities were compatible too.”
Translation Notes:
1 More free chap today, Happy Father’s Day to all fathers!