If You Want Me - Episode 102
<Episode 102>
As we went deeper into the aquarium, the amazement only grew.
The next place we went was called the seafloor tunnel, where the walls and ceiling of the round passageway were all made of glass. It was a world of fish in all directions, as if this was what it would look like if a tunnel really formed under the sea.
Seo-won kept opening his mouth wide, saying “Wow, wow!” and turning his head here and there. I don’t know why the sight of unknown fish passing by is so amazing.
It seemed like the first time Seo-won had been to a place like this, so he was looking around eagerly. Unlike me, Do-gyeom, who was leisurely looking around, spoke while gazing at Seo-won.
“If I had known you would like it this much, I would have brought you earlier.”
“Ah…”
At Do-gyeom’s reaction, Seo-won stopped his frantic sightseeing and reflected on his behavior. From earlier, I had been immersed in watching the fish without exchanging a single word with him. With my eyes wide open, turning my head quickly, and continuously exclaiming…
I didn’t think much of it since I couldn’t see myself, but come to think of it, I wonder how foolish I looked. In his eyes, I must have looked like someone visiting an aquarium for the first time.
Thinking that way made me feel awkward and embarrassed. Seo-won forcibly pulled down the corners of his mouth that had been raised and spoke in a small voice.
“I was too excited, wasn’t I?”
“It’s nice to see, though.”
“…”
There’s no way it was nice to see. My appearance must have been funny and amusing to him…
Seo-won pouted his lips, and suddenly thought that he was the only one who was frantically watching while Do-gyeom was just following him. We were on a date to enjoy together, but somehow he was worried that they had come here just for him.
“But you don’t seem very impressed, Hyung.”
“I’ve been here a few times when it was being built, so it’s not that amazing to me.”
“I see…”
Seo-won let out a small sigh. It seemed that what he was thinking was right after all.
As if Do-gyeom knew what Seo-won was thinking without him saying it, he raised the corners of his mouth and spoke in a tone that told him not to worry about such things.
“But it’s fun for me too. Seeing your reactions.”
“No, you should be looking at the fish, not me…”
I’m not the one on display… It seems he was amused and watching my reactions from earlier.
Now I should observe more calmly. I tried hard to calm my excited heart and continue the tour, but Seo-won took a deep breath as he turned his gaze from Do-gyeom to the glass window.
“Gasp…!”
When I turned my head, a large white beluga had come so close to the glass that it seemed to be sticking to it, looking at us.
The appearance of the beluga was so cute that it wasn’t scary, but I was also off guard from talking with Do-gyeom, and I was startled by the huge presence filling my view.
Feeling my heart drop, Seo-won unknowingly clung to Do-gyeom, tightly holding his hand and shrinking his body. As Seo-won revealed his surprise with his whole body, Do-gyeom couldn’t hold back and burst into laughter.
“Whenever you get scared, you act so cute that it makes me want to startle you.”
“Hyung…”
“I’m kidding. If you greet the beluga, it’ll show you tricks. Do you want to try it?”
“…Tricks?”
“Yeah, wave at the beluga and see.”
Hand? This isn’t a circus, how could the beluga have received such training…?
I was suspicious that he might be teasing me. If I actually waved, it seemed like he would sneer, asking if I was fooled. Seo-won looked at Do-gyeom with doubtful eyes, but he was shining his eyes as if telling him to try it.
Is it for real? As Seo-won waved carefully at the beluga with half doubt and half curiosity, the beluga spun around and around in front of him as if it had been waiting, performing tricks. Even though it was happening right before my eyes, it felt so unrealistic, as if I was watching CG.
Unable to believe what he saw, Seo-won alternated between looking at Do-gyeom with a dumbfounded face and looking at the beluga.
“What, what is this? How is it doing this?”
“I heard that guy particularly likes people. He does that without even being taught.”
“Wow… How does he do that? I’ve heard that whales are smart, but…”
As Seo-won mumbled in amazement, staring at the beluga as if watching a circus, the beluga, who already seemed to be smiling, smiled with its eyes and suddenly swam quickly into the depths of the tunnel.
Although the beluga was gone, Seo-won still gazed at its receding figure as if it were still in front of him, immersed in the lingering feeling. For the first time, he realized that reality could be more beautiful and fantastic than dreams.
* * *
“Did you have fun?”
“Yes, immensely! It was really so beautiful. I especially loved seeing the beluga.”
When asked as we left the aquarium, Seo-won answered with sparkling eyes.
The aquarium date with Seo-won was a success. Do-gyeom honestly didn’t expect him to like it this much, but Seo-won kept exclaiming like a young child and couldn’t take his eyes off the tanks.
And in Seo-won’s appearance, Do-gyeom saw an overlap with his childhood self. Perhaps because I couldn’t give Seo-won enough trust, or because we had grown up too much, I felt that Seo-won couldn’t fully open his heart to me and built walls.
But today’s Seo-won was different. He expressed his emotions transparently and purely liked it, just like when he was young. Do-gyeom was touched as if Seo-won had completely opened his heart to him, and his heart swelled.
‘If only I had acknowledged my feelings for Seo-won a little earlier and enjoyed love, I could have seen more of this side of him…’
Do-gyeom regretted and reproached himself every day he dated Seo-won because he felt that regret. Not only that, but due to his excessively good memory, he recalled how he had put up walls and treated Seo-won harshly because he was a pheromone partner, and he wanted to hit his past self. Even though he knew that such regrets only consumed emotions and didn’t change anything, he kept having those thoughts.
You can’t pick up the time that has passed, but can’t you fill it by loving fervently from now on?
Don’t repeat the same mistakes, and avoid things Seo-won might dislike by learning from past events.
Do-gyeom thought like that and responded to Seo-won’s chattering like a chick.
“Let’s come again next time.”
“Okay.”
Seo-won smiled and nodded at the words promising a next time.
As Do-gyeom got into the car thinking that he should treat Seo-won to a nice dinner and perfectly end the date, his phone in his pocket vibrated for a long time.
There’s no one to call at this time. Is it Secretary Bae? Thinking it might be urgent work, he took out his phone before grabbing the steering wheel, and the three letters “Mother” were shining on the screen.
“…Tsk.”
Of all times, when I’m with Seo-won… Do-gyeom clicked his tongue softly, looking at the screen with sunken eyes.
It wasn’t that he simply disliked getting a call from his mother, but he knew she would hate it if she found out he was with Seo-won right now. Moreover, more than half the time she called, it was about marriage meetings. It wasn’t a call he wanted to take even when he was alone.
Do-gyeom reluctantly grabbed the driver’s side handle with the opposite hand and spoke to Seo-won in the passenger seat.
“Seo-won, I got a call from my mother. I’ll take it and come back in a bit.”
“Ah… go ahead.”
As Seo-won nodded his head in understanding, something… felt awkward.
Seo-won didn’t tell me not to take it, and his expression was the same as usual, but it felt somewhat unpleasant and like there was a wall.
The date was successful, but… why is he suddenly like this? Did I do something wrong again? I wanted to ask, but the ringing phone in my hand bothered me.
For now, I should take the call and ask when I come back. Unable to resist the urging of the phone, Do-gyeom got out of the car and pressed the answer button.
“Yes, Mother.”
– Do-gyeom. Where are you now? I rang the doorbell but there was no response… The door lock password was changed too?
Listening, it seemed she had come to his house. Last time she came without notice too, why is she here again this time? Do-gyeom wiped his face with his large palm and replied in a calm voice.
“…I’m out right now for something. And I told you not to come without notice.”
– Do I need permission to go to my son’s house?
She answered as if she was disappointed. It was a question of what’s wrong with a mother visiting her son’s house between family members.
It’s not that he couldn’t understand her position, but she also needed to understand him. It wasn’t that he told her not to come at all, but was the request to contact him before coming so difficult?
Like today, she could come uninvited and get stood up, so he couldn’t understand at all why she was doing this.
“I’ll be late today, so please go back now. I’ll come visit next time.”
– No, I’ll wait.
“You’ll wait even though you don’t know when I’ll be home?”
– I have something to say, Mom. There’s a cafe in front of your house. I’ll wait while having tea, so take your time coming.
“…”
She answered in a noble tone. As if telling him not to worry and finish what he was doing before coming.
But her true intention of telling him to come right away was clearly read. Who would feel at ease when she says she’ll wait in front of the house until he comes?
“It’ll take me a long time. If it’s urgent, just tell me over the phone.”
– It’s important, so no. I’ll wait.
“Mother…”
Do-gyeom was about to say that he would go late at night if she went back home, but the call was cut off there.
Do-gyeom looked at the darkened phone screen with absurd and dumbfounded eyes and let out a deep sigh.
“Sigh…”
Why is Mother suddenly acting like this? I knew she was usually stubborn, but today the intensity was even stronger. The image of her stubbornly staying even if he left a message was vividly drawn.
It wasn’t an urgent matter with Seo-won, but today’s date could be daringly called perfect. I wanted to treat him to a nice dinner in this atmosphere and completely win Seo-won’s heart… I never dreamed of being interrupted like this.
Do-gyeom sighed heavily as if the ground would sink, and belatedly got into the car. Looking at Seo-won sitting obediently in the passenger seat, Do-gyeom felt twice as much regret and apologized as if apologizing.
“Seo-won. I’m really sorry, but… I don’t think I can have dinner with you.”
“What? It’s okay if we can’t have dinner, but why all of a sudden? Did something happen?”
“Sigh, well… My mother came to my house without notice and says she’ll wait. I think she has something important to say.”
Do-gyeom answered in a difficult tone. Then Seo-won made a subtle expression like when he checked the caller earlier, but soon understood.
“Ah… If it’s something like that, it can’t be helped… Okay.”
“Sorry. I’ll drop you off in front of your house.”
“I can take a taxi. Don’t worry about me and go home quickly.”
“No, it’s on the way anyway. Put on your seat belt.”
It wasn’t exactly on the way. But I didn’t want to send him back in a taxi like this. Even though the date was ruined, I wanted to take responsibility until the end. Because I want to leave today’s memory as good as possible, even a little bit.
When Do-gyeom spoke, Seo-won hesitated and put on his seat belt. Only then did Do-gyeom relax his stiff expression and grab the steering wheel.
Come to think of it, the atmosphere was flowing well, and I thought I could score perfectly with Seo-won today… Do-gyeom felt a bitter taste, greatly regretting missing a good opportunity.