I Was Rejected by the Main Character in a Romantic Fantasy. - Chapter 73

TN: Thank Nepper for the chapter.

Duke Papyrus calmly nodded at my question.

“Well… you see.”

The text he read must be the novel I read, and in that, “I” wouldn’t be the protagonist. Neither Felix nor Shin-woo.

Because Sylvia is the protagonist of that novel. The protagonist I knew and the one Papyrus knew couldn’t be different.

Then why did he think I was the protagonist?

Papyrus seemed to be pondering how to explain this fact. As I watched him, I took a sip of tea to calm my complex feelings.

“It’s not something I decide. I simply read what was written.”

“…Are you saying that what I read and Your Grace read are different?”

“To be precise, the original text and the text I read recently have changed.”

“It changed?”

I exhaled deeply and listened carefully to Papyrus’ words.

If what he said was true, it meant the text I read was different.

“That’s correct. It wasn’t long ago.”

“…Is that possible?”

“As this is also my first time encountering such a situation, I looked into whether there were any precedents.”

It seemed Papyrus also found this situation strange. He said he had looked into previous records of the Geyrus family.

“But while there were records of minor modifications to the content of texts that had been read, there were no cases of the content changing completely.”

“…”

“Moreover, there were no cases of the protagonist changing.”

“So it’s an unprecedented case.”

Of course, cases of the world’s protagonist changing would be extremely rare. I nodded, agreeing with Papyrus’ words.

“That’s right. Perhaps it’s the first time this has happened since this continent was born.”

“…”

I fell silent for a while, lost in thought. Papyrus also remained quiet, as if understanding my complex feelings, waiting for my thoughts to settle.

I had become the protagonist of the world. Of course, that doesn’t mean the genre has completely changed. If it had, Papyrus wouldn’t be this calm.

‘…Come to think of it.’

“I have a question.”

“What is it? Feel free to ask.”

Papyrus’s bombshell statement was so shocking that I had forgotten my original purpose for coming here.

“Where is Felix?”

“… He’s right in front of my eyes?”

Papyrus tilted his head as if he didn’t understand my words and answered nonchalantly. I shook my head seriously at his response.

“I meant to ask if you know where the original owner of this body went.”

“…Ah, is that what you meant?”

Papyrus smiled slightly at my words and nodded, calmly stroking his chin. It seemed a somewhat serious issue for me, but it didn’t seem to be for him.

“…By the way, what was your name in the previous world?”

“It was Shin-woo Lee.”

“Mr. Shin-woo Lee. Let me ask you one thing.”

Although I asked the question, he didn’t answer and instead posed a question to me. Since I needed to be humble now, I had no choice but to answer his question.

“…What is it?”

“Why do you,”

I clearly thought that he didn’t consider my question to be significant.

But when he asked this, his eyes shone more seriously and brightly than ever before.

“Think of yourself as Shin-woo Lee?”

***

What is the simplest way to define one’s existence?

The easiest way to define and explain myself, Shin-woo Lee, is…

I think it’s the memories that make up who I am.

‘Memories.’

I believe that a being’s existence is constituted by the memories and experiences it has lived through and accumulated.

For example, consider a person who has no relationships with anyone else. He lived deep in the mountains with his parents, but after his parents died, no one knew of his existence.

Imagine if such a person loses their memory due to an accident in the mountains. Who he is, his name, how he lived, and who his parents were.

If he loses all of that…

If it were me.

Could I really think of ‘me’ as ‘me?’ When I’ve lost everything that makes up who I am?

I don’t think so. That’s why I naturally believed ‘I’ am ‘Shin-woo Lee.’

I answered Papyrus’ words like this: I have memories of being Shin-woo Lee, and I had all of Shin-woo Lee’s memories from the moment I opened my eyes again.

I think of myself as Shin-woo Lee.

Papyrus nodded, agreeing with my words after hearing them.

“That’s correct. Memories are indeed the biggest factor in constituting oneself.”

No matter how clearly God exists in this world, and thus the power of religion is strong, I don’t think that’s evidence of the existence of souls.

I’m not even sure if the concept of a soul has such great significance.

Papyrus, who was stroking his chin and mulling over my words, tilted his head and asked another question.

“Yet you still think you’re not Felix?”

“…I am Shin-woo Lee.”

Shin-woo Lee, who also has Felix’s memories.

Shin-woo Lee, who has Felix’s memories because he was possessed by his body.

That’s who I am, I told Papyrus. Despite my sharp tone, he still didn’t even think to straighten his tilted head as he continued speaking.

“According to what you said, didn’t you say you’re Shin-woo Lee because you have his memories?”

“That’s right.”

“You also have Felix’s memories, so why do you think of yourself solely as Shin-woo Lee?”

“…Because I have Felix’s memories, am I Felix? Or am I Shin-woo Lee?”

Yes, to be honest.

I wasn’t certain either. I gradually lost my memories as Shin-woo Lee and Felix’s memories surfaced.

If memories are clear evidence explaining one’s existence, maybe I was losing my existence as Shin-woo Lee and regaining my existence as Felix.

I asked Papyrus with a trembling voice. Only then did he straighten his head and smile broadly.

“Mr. Shin-woo.”

“…Yes.”

“Why are you trying to define your existence as just one thing?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Either Felix or Shin-woo Lee. Does it have to be one or the other?”

I was about to answer Papyrus, but suddenly, I had to close my mouth and think.

But this time, Papyrus didn’t seem to want to wait for my thoughts.

“I don’t think there’s a need to think that way.”

Either Felix or Shin-woo Lee.

Isn’t that the only way to think in this situation? Who would think of themselves as both in this situation? Maybe some people would, but at least I wasn’t one of them.

“If you have Felix’s memories and also Shin-woo Lee’s memories, it means you don’t need to think of yourself as one or the other.”

“…”

“Mr. Shin-woo.”

“…Yes.”

My head was still spinning, but suddenly, I thought it was because I hadn’t accepted reality.

“Memories can sometimes be vague. That’s why we record history and memories we don’t want to forget.”

“…”

“But as time passes, memories are always bound to be forgotten, and very old memories tend to be altered. Therefore, while your current thinking is reasonable, it can’t be said to be absolutely correct.”

We lose memories from when we were very young.

Memories that were painful at the time become fond recollections as time passes, and even memories that remain good, when examined closely, might not have been entirely good.

Papyrus wasn’t saying that my way of defining my existence was wrong.

Simply.

“What if you think of your memories as Shin-woo Lee as very old memories, and in the process of retrieving those memories, you lost some of your current memories and are now regaining them?”

“That’s…”

“Don’t deny yourself, your own existence.”

“Are you saying I should accept the fact that I am myself and not myself?”

“Why must you be either Felix or Shin-woo Lee? Is that what existence is?”

“… It’s what common sense…”

It doesn’t make sense.

I quietly exhaled while rubbing my face with dry hands.

“Is it common sense for you to awaken in another world? It doesn’t always flow according to common sense. Mr. Shin-woo, you need to clearly understand that fact.”

I came to find an answer.

But finding an answer has become even more difficult.

No, it would be more accurate to say that accepting the answer has become more difficult.