I Broke Up With The Country - Chapter 4

“Be reborn?”

“You will lose your memories, be born anew, and live a new life as a completely different person.”

Suddenly, a wave of anger surged through me. If there was a god, I wanted to bring them before me right now and confront them.

“What’s the point of that? You said it was my destiny to become a queen. Then even if I’m reborn, it’ll be the same life. Studying until I drop, working until I drop, and in the end, being betrayed.”

“Becoming a queen is your destiny. Being betrayed is not. Even if you become a queen again, your next life could be different.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

I shouted at the man, not because I was angry at him, but because I loathed the god who had predetermined my fate.

“Do you think I wanted to become a queen? I had no other choice. That’s what my mother said. There was no other future to hope for.”

As I poured out my words, the heat returned to my eyes.

The truth was, I didn’t want to live that way. I wanted to laugh freely, play freely, love freely, and live quietly, cherished by family and friends, just like an ordinary lady. Even if only for a moment, I wanted to live an ordinary life.

But I endured, telling myself I must be a good queen for everyone, and that those I cared about would all be proud of me.

But it was all a lie. What I thought was a failure to meet expectations was everyone’s true feelings.

As I stood there crying for a long time, the man, who had remained silent, suddenly spoke.

“Then how about being reborn just as you are now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Normally, a reincarnated soul loses all memories of its previous life. But if you wish, I can allow you to be reborn with your current memories intact.”

As my turbulent emotions settled, reason slowly returned.

“Is that possible?”

“If you wish , It can happen right now.”

To keep my memories and start a new life—it meant I would be given the chance to start everything over again.

In my past life, I devoted myself entirely to becoming a good queen.

I studied to become a queen, met people to become a queen, and sacrificed the joy of love, marriage, and children to become a queen.

I knew very well how to get closer to the throne, what kind of person was deemed fit to be a queen, and what disqualified one from becoming a queen.

If I were reborn with all my memories, perhaps I could avoid living the same life again.

Of course, it wouldn’t be easy to change a destiny set by a god. But the god’s decrees were not always absolute. In fact, the god was more irresponsible and incompetent than any human on earth.

Has even one of the god’s commandments in the scriptures ever been fulfilled?

“Honor your wife.”

My father discarded my mother, the queen, as if to make a point.

“Treat your young child as a treasure.”

My father rejected me, his own child, simply because I was a daughter and never sought me out again.

“Do not betray your friends.”

My closest friend, Marquis Lamian, betrayed me.

Even when everyone boldly defied the words of the gods and absurd things happened on earth, the god remained silent.

“Become a queen.”

So, there was no reason to follow the fate inscribed on my soul by the gods.

“Fine. Let me be reborn.”

I made up my mind and looked at him. The tears that had been flowing from my eyes had long since dried.

Suddenly, a strange light appeared in the man’s eyes as he looked at me.

“In return, could you do just one thing for me?”

“What should I do?”

“Just one thing.”

In the next moment, a peculiar glint sparkled in the man’s eyes.

“Just remember me.”

***

Harsh breathing, the stench of blood, and the damp, heavy bedclothes.

I failed my arms and legs and opened my eyes wide. It felt like I had been submerged in deep water and was being forcibly pulled back out.

Breath suddenly rushed into my lungs. I gasped for air.

After a while, I was able to breathe comfortably. My limbs moved properly. I opened my eyes and looked around. A magnificently decorated ceiling came into my blurry view.

“Your Highness…?”

Someone asked in a surprised voice.

I blinked my dim eyes repeatedly and turned my head towards the source of the voice.

It was a woman I had never seen before. Her shabby clothes made her look like a maid.

As I stared at her blankly, she suddenly looked horrified and got up from her seat.

“Oh my! Your Highness the Princess!”

Princess… Your Highness?

It was an unfamiliar title.

After my mother was ousted from her position as queen, I had always been treated as a bastard child. I never received the honorific “Your Highness” or even royal respect.

And since becoming queen, my title has been “Your Majesty” rather than “Your Highness.” Instances of being called “Princess Your Highness” had been rare.

Could it be that I was born as a legitimate princess this time?

But something seemed off. The arms in my view were excessively long.

I began to examine my body piece by piece as it came into view. Long, smooth legs, a slim waist, a rounded chest—clearly an adult body, not a baby’s.

If I were truly reborn, I should be a newborn baby by now, shouldn’t I?

“Everyone, come quickly! The Princess Your Highness has awakened!”

The maid shouted loudly and rushed out of the room.

I got out of bed in a daze. My body felt heavy, but it wasn’t too difficult to sit up.

Moments later, unfamiliar people rushed into the room.

“Oh, my goodness! Thank you, God!”

“Your Highness, are you coming to? Do you recognize me?”

“Quickly, go get the doctor!”

A crowd of unfamiliar women surged in, grabbing my hands, checking my head, crying and laughing, creating a commotion.

I couldn’t respond at all. As my mind gradually cleared, confusing questions flooded my thoughts.

Why am I not a newborn? Who are these people? Why is everyone making such a fuss?

While I sat there in confusion, another person suddenly entered the bedroom. This time, it was a man with a beard.

“Princess Your Highness!”

The man rushed over and knelt in front of the bed.

“Your Highness! Are you alright?”

His eyes were shaking uncontrollably. It seemed as if he would end his life immediately if I said I wasn’t alright.

“Y-yes, I’m okay.”

I reassured him, even though I wasn’t sure what was okay. Only then did the man, like the others, begin to cry tears of relief.

“Ah, thank you, God! I really thought Your Highness had passed away. If you truly had… I would…”

“You thought I was dead?”

“Yes. I was certain…”

At that moment, heavy footsteps echoed from the end of the hallway.

Soon, a broad-shouldered man entered the room. The people around hurriedly bowed. The man approached me as if the others didn’t exist.

“Estelle!”

Estelle?

It was the first time I’d heard that name. As I blinked in confusion, the bearded man, trembling, began to speak.

“Your Majesty, P-Princess Your Highness…”

“Be quiet.”

With a cold command, the bearded man fell silent.

I scrutinized the man in front of me, trying to make sense of the situation.

If he’s ‘Your Majesty’… is he the king of this era?

As the word “king” flashed through my mind, I quickly straighten my posture. I moved my legs out of the bed to show my respect.

“Your Majesty, I am honored to meet you…”

“Don’t get up, stay seated!”

At the king’s command, I froze in place. Before I could say anything, the king had moved closer and began to question me.

“How did you wake up? Are you alright? Why are you treating this father like this? Huh? Estelle!”

I couldn’t answer any of his questions. But it seemed the king didn’t need any answers, as he began to weep as he looked at me.

“No, no. It’s enough now. You’re alive, yes. You’re alive.”

Suddenly, he reached out to me. I flinched and shrank back in surprise.

In the next moment, he wrapped me in his long arms. I was so startled that I remained stiff in a sitting position.

“Thank you.”

The tearful voice reached my ears. I unconsciously placed my hand on the king’s shoulder.

I had never felt such warmth before.

“…Thank you for staying alive.”

Tears fell from the king’s eyes onto my shoulder. He held me even tighter, his tears dripping steadily. Warmth radiated from his broad chest.

It was so warm… and unfamiliar.

I remained embraced in his overly warm arms for a long time, feeling uncomfortable yet comforted.