I Became The Spearman Of The Academy - c49
Chapter 49. Can a Person Be This Pure?
***
As Chunsung tried to stop the two people, Grecia unconsciously grabbed his arm.
Grab.
Seeing Chunsung flinch in surprise, Grecia awkwardly let go of his arm.
“…”
Even as she released her hand… clear dissatisfaction welled up in her heart.
Today was clearly the day Han Chunsung had promised to be with her. But suddenly saying he’d spend time with others too, it diminished the meaning of her efforts to be with him.
There was a clear difference between being alone together and spending time with multiple people.
Naturally, the time to converse with him would decrease, and attention would be divided among others. As a result, the time for her to understand Han Chunsung would be significantly reduced.
So why did Han Chunsung arbitrarily try to be with other people?
Her recent refusal seemed extremely rational to her.
She had clearly received a promise from him, and she was trying to be with him today. There was no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about her actions now.
“Grecia. Are you… angry?”
She blinked at the cautious question.
“Why do you think I’m angry?”
“Well, your expression looks that way right now.”
“Do I look like that?”
“Yeah. You really seem angry.”
At those words, she unconsciously touched her face.
…Although she didn’t know what expression she was making, it was certainly an unsatisfied one.
As she was the type whose thoughts were directly reflected on her face, she nodded without hesitation.
“To be honest, I’m a little angry.”
“Where… are you angry about?”
As he asked as if he didn’t understand at all, she wondered if she was the strange one.
Had she done something Han Chunsung couldn’t understand? She didn’t feel that way.
After all, he was the one who promised her last night. Han Chunsung was the one who readily said he’d spend today with her.
So, she didn’t think her request to be with him now was unreasonable.
But she didn’t know why she should feel like she had done something wrong.
“Grecia. I thought it would definitely be better if we trained together with Leonhardt and Yumia. They’re both outstanding people.”
She found herself nodding unconsciously at his calm explanation.
She agreed with that.
Those two were among the top contenders even within A1 Class. While Leonhardt as the top student was a given, even Yumia was more skilled than expected.
“That’s true.”
“…It’s not just ‘that’s true’. I’d like you to explain properly and specifically. Why you felt bad about my actions just now.”
As he asked calmly, she found herself meeting his gaze unconsciously.
“…”
His characteristic black eyes didn’t seem to be angry with her or probing.
They were just… calm.
“…”
As she hesitated for a moment, her feelings were complex.
Thinking about it, Han Chunsung was quite different from others. He calmly asks for reasons, even to her words.
Even when surprised by her words, he doesn’t try to ignore her. He doesn’t get overly upset by her attitude when they’re together.
Everything felt very different, from start to finish.
“You need to tell me properly so that I can avoid doing things that make you feel bad next time. Let me say this first, I’m not asking you this with any other emotions.”
At his explanatory words… she found herself nodding unconsciously.
She felt that way too.
“Because you said you’d be with other people too.”
“…And?”
“It made me feel bad.”
She conveyed her feelings exactly as she felt them.
Even as she saw Han Chunsung hesitate at her words, she knew to some extent that what she was saying was strange.
But she couldn’t express it any other way.
She directly conveys the immediate emotions she feels to the other person.
That’s what her sister had taught her.
ㅡIf you reflect your inner truth, the person listening to you will surely accept it.
Rather than trying to deceive the other person by roundabout speech, it’s better to treat them with sincerity.
So she had treated people that way until now.
“So, to summarize… You said you’d spend time with me. But when I said I’d spend time with others too, it made you feel bad. Is that right?”
As he slowly broke it down, it was surprisingly well understood.
Although there might be other emotions in detail, that was exactly it right now.
How could other people spend time with him without any cost, when I had to talk and gain time with Han Chunsung?
And were they trying to interfere with my time with him?
It would surely take a very long time for me to understand Han Chunsung.
Even now, I don’t know how much time I need to invest to understand Han Chunsung… but it would surely take longer if he’s with other people.
“……”
Was my answer shocking to Han Chunsung? As he looked at me and suddenly behaved awkwardly, I found myself asking.
“Han Chunsung… do you dislike me for being like this too?”
Would Han Chunsung dislike me like other people?
I found myself asking involuntarily. The clear gazes of people who pretended to be okay but actually avoided me came to mind vividly.
Their gazes that looked at me as if I was strange, as if something wasn’t normal.
So naturally, I distanced myself from people who looked at me that way.
And at some point, I became reluctant to approach people at all.
I didn’t want to be rejected by deliberately approaching them. I didn’t want to receive such gazes either.
If they avoid me even when I show my inner truth like this… there’s no reason for me to approach them either.
And now, even Han Chunsung…
“No. I don’t dislike you for being like that.”
“…You don’t dislike me?”
“Of course, your words are surprising, but I know they’re all sincere. My feelings hearing those words are really strange, but… I can’t say you’re bad for being like that.”
As he spoke with a faint smile, I found myself staring blankly at that smile.
‘He doesn’t dislike me. He can’t say I’m bad for being like this…’
It was the first time.
Someone who said such things to me…
And indeed, I felt that Han Chunsung was different from others.
He was definitely different.
I didn’t know exactly how he was different from others.
But he was certainly different. Beyond his extraordinary talent and mental completeness… he felt fundamentally different.
“Well then, Grecia. Let’s go train. You asked me to watch you train, right?”
As he asked so lightly as if everything was fine now.
I nodded blankly and opened my mouth.
“…That’s right.”
Click.
As I took steps towards where I had trained before, I felt strange.
A sense of relief at Han Chunsung’s attitude.
And at the same time, I had to feel great regret.
Even at this moment…
I couldn’t understand Han Chunsung at all.
…Rather, the closer I got to him, the more I felt I couldn’t understand him.
***
ㅡPurity.
It’s often said that children’s purity shines because it’s untainted.
Some people believe that just looking at pure children seems to erase one’s own impurities, giving meaning to the word ‘purity’ itself.
Children are thought to express their emotions straightforwardly, reflecting their likes and dislikes without thinking, just as they feel them.
And Chunsung originally didn’t like children very much.
‘Not all children are pure just because they’re children.’
He felt that as times changed, children’s purity had become tainted.
Even when looking at young children, he had often doubted whether their actions were truly born of purity, or if they were cunning.
So he thought about the essence of the word ‘purity’ itself, rather than automatically associating it with children.
And now.
He was truly feeling the essence of the word ‘purity’.
“…”
“…”
There was no conversation between them as they walked.
But it didn’t feel uncomfortable.
I understood why Grecia spoke that way, and I felt the sincerity in her words.
The sincerity that I often couldn’t feel even when talking to young children felt so strong when talking to Grecia, as if it was powerfully pounding my chest. Rather, it made me acknowledge her.
That there could be someone so pure despite being an adult.
It was quite different from the purity I felt when facing Grecia last night.
…How cleanly a person who truly reflects themselves purely can appear.
It had a magic that momentarily prevented the person dealing with them from thinking anything else.
It felt instinctively that I shouldn’t treat her falsely. That I shouldn’t hurt her.
So now, my heart was filled with understanding and similar emotions, thinking that Grecia could be like this.
‘It was very unexpected.’
I involuntarily recalled Grecia’s gaze as she looked at me just a moment ago.
I had momentarily seen the fear, anxiety, and worry in Grecia’s eyes, which always seemed to speak calmly and confidently.
When Grecia asked if I disliked her, I couldn’t say anything for a moment.
I clearly felt the strangeness in her way of speaking, and I had been surprised by her words countless times until now.
Just a moment ago, I was quite flustered by Grecia saying things that Leonhardt and Yumia might misunderstand.
But now.
Her attitude in response to my continuous questions struck my heart strongly with another shock.
Grecia wasn’t speaking without knowing her own way of communication.
She knew that her way of speaking might sound strange to others.
Yet she deliberately speaks that way.
Recalling how she spoke calmly and nonchalantly when there were high-ranking people like instructors, I could be sure.
She was speaking like that on purpose.
When there are people she feels she can get along with, she tries to reflect herself without reservation and show her true feelings.
Her attitude of trying to purely convey the emotions she feels at that moment to the other person without deception.
Can that… really be said to be wrong?
‘How can she speak like that?’
She was the purest person I had ever met… I even felt sorry for not answering immediately.
Click.
Arriving at the training area, Grecia gently drew her sword from its sheath.
A crude iron sword without any patterns.
“Then, Han Chunsung. I’d like you to look at me directly and give me your honest impressions.”
“…Okay. Got it.”
As Grecia calmly asked me, I nodded, erasing my thoughts.
Although she was about to handle a sword, what Grecia was asking for wasn’t just about how she handled the sword.
It was about whether there were any unnecessary movements or inadequacies in her movements as she manifested her Talent with the sword.
I should be able to see that just by watching.
Step.
As I stood at a certain distance from her side to watch, Grecia slowly took a deep breath.
The faint sound of her breath was heard for a moment, then Grecia suddenly kicked off the ground and launched her body.
As I watched her intently, I was greatly surprised.
ㅡ! ㅡㅡㅡ!
Fierce gales suddenly engulfed the entire area.
At the same time, Grecia was moving within those gales as if lightly floating.
ㅡㅡ!
ㅡㅡㅡㅡ!!
With just a light swing of her sword, she intensely strikes the target dummy.
She was completely surpassing my expectations.
“…….”
A bright light was enveloping Grecia’s form now.
A brilliant and bright blue light that seemed to captivate everyone’s gaze, it was certainly not something like mana.
The omen called the light of blessing…
It was clearly residing in her body now.