I Became the Academy’s Disabled Student - Chapter 90

My body, which had been given grim diagnoses like permanent aftereffects, death during treatment, or retirement, was recovering splendidly beyond expectations.

My broken and crushed bones were healing, and my damaged organs were functioning properly.

My muscles were gradually recovering too, allowing me to not only walk but even run.

My body would soon be fully healed.

Moreover, soon enough, I might even have the energy to attempt regenerating my arm. I was still contemplating that issue.

And my mind, which controlled my body, had recovered significantly too.

Now, even when awake, I could think normally.

However, there were side effects.

As my reason gradually regained strength, actions taken when emotions had taken over my body while reason was pushed aside began to surface one by one…

My face flushed. Even without using Gop-hwa, my body felt heated. It was embarrassing. I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide…

I wanted to eliminate any possibility of being observed from the outside. I pulled the blanket over my body.

‘How long have I been holed up in the healing room…’

A few days had passed since Hong Yeon-hwa and Baek Ahrin visited. Since that day, my condition seemed to have improved a bit more.

It was probably because Hong Yeon-hwa transferred the warmth of Gop-hwa to me.

Gop-hwa… Perhaps using Changhae together caused some issues with my body temperature.

My body temperature, which had been erratic, suddenly becoming hot and cold, had somewhat normalized since that day.

Recalling the method of warmth transfer using Gop-hwa made my face heat up again.

The inside of the blanket felt like a sauna, and I kicked it off irritably.

– Whoosh

‘Ugh…’

The temperature in the healing room was controlled, but the air felt cold compared to my body temperature, hitting my skin.

I shivered and pulled the blanket back over me appropriately.

The memory of that day was an embarrassing one I didn’t want to recall.

Being held in Hong Yeon-hwa’s arms… I hated how accustomed I had become to it, but that wasn’t enough to make me kick the blanket.

However, having my belly touched was something entirely different. Especially when it was my bare skin and not just through clothes, it was even more embarrassing.

There were many other embarrassing memories. I had been quite childish in front of Professor Atra.

It was humiliating and shameful. Not just the actions themselves but the fact that I didn’t reject them and even thought they were pleasant at the time embarrassed me.

I wanted to reject it. I wanted to forget those memories and deny that I wasn’t in my right mind at the time…

‘But I can’t do that…’

In the past, I would have denied it, but now I couldn’t.

Taking a deep breath, I turned my body over. The soft texture of the bed pressed against my back.

My face was turned upward.

There was no sky to be seen. It was obvious since there was a ceiling. If I used the power of Observation? Maybe I could see it.

I moved my remaining right hand. I touched the place where my left arm should be.

The empty space where my left arm should have been was disheartening.

‘Damn it…’

During the struggle with Aerulus, I had assumed I would die there.

Thinking I wouldn’t make it out alive anyway, I decided to take that bastard down with me. In that process, I figured since I’d die regardless, I might as well sacrifice an arm.

But I survived. Minus an arm.

Sometimes, the phantom pain of my chewed-off arm drove me crazy.

‘If I knew I’d survive, I would’ve been more careful…’

It was a futile regret.

If I hadn’t used my arm as bait, if I hadn’t reached out to close the distance, the Changhae might have missed.

Using Changhae twice was impossible. If it missed the first time, I had no means to restrain him.

Naturally, my subsequent Midday Sun wouldn’t have hit, and I would’ve died there alone…

Regret filled me. As I lay there, reflecting, I realized there might have been better ways to handle it.

I even regretted not just running away… even now that I had survived.

But…

‘Even if I had run away, I would’ve regretted it.’

I would have regretted it either way. Would I have stopped at regret? Having become a person similar to my parents, would I have wanted to live?

‘…I shouldn’t deny it.’

I realized my unique abilities.

Mana Affinity and Jack of All Trades.

The system? Or something related to [Savior] that I thought had intervened and given me these abilities.

I was wrong. I had completely misunderstood. The spatial and observational powers I thought were spatial perception were granted, but these two were not.

These were abilities I had inherently possessed.

No one had interfered. It wasn’t an externally granted power. Even if it had been guided to bloom, it was an innate trait I had always held.

Why did I realize it only now? Being on the brink of death played a part.

To be precise, being on the brink of death, I realized the ‘uniqueness’ of myself.

There were distinct, albeit tiny, unique traits, as well as significant ones like Jack of All Trades and Mana Affinity that represented me.

So, going forward, I must not deny my uniqueness, the elements that make up who I am.

‘Lee Hayul.’

My name.

Regardless of who named me, it fundamentally represents me.

Lee Hayul, who runs around foolishly trying to save people because he can’t abandon his conscience, was me.

Lee Hayul, who wanted to cry and run away but ultimately didn’t and charged at the monster, was me.

Even now, regretting the choices made while surviving and thriving, is also me.

And.

Lee Hayul, who whimpered in Professor Atra’s arms, is also me.

Lee Hayul, who refused to take medicine despite not being able to taste bitterness, and sought warmth in a snug embrace because he didn’t like the cold, is also me.

Lee Hayul, who now feels embarrassed and ashamed of those times, is also me.

All of it is me. I must not deny it. I must not deny the uniqueness that makes up who I am.

It had taken me so long to realize my unique abilities because I had been in denial for so long.

The most basic method to train unique abilities is to reflect on oneself.

I learned this at Shio-ram, and I knew it from the original work’s knowledge.

Yet, I never applied it to myself. I prematurely concluded that it wouldn’t be effective for me because I was special and different.

I made a mistake. It couldn’t be helped. I am not omniscient and omnipotent; I am not a perfect superhuman without mistakes.

But if I made a mistake, I must strive not to repeat it next time.

So, I must accept it. Even the embarrassing and shameful Lee Hayul is ultimately me,

And the dirty-hearted Lee Hayul who regrets saving people is also me.

‘I don’t want to regret.’

Living as a human means inevitably having to choose among various options.

The moments of choice won’t end with just once; they will come countless times throughout life.

Someone wishy-washy like me will regret every moment.

But I want to regret less.

I regret not running away at Shipnaha, but if I had run, I would have regretted it to the point of wanting to end my life.

It was an incident within my awareness.

It was a crisis I could sufficiently help with.

It was a crisis only I could resolve.

That’s why I charged in.

Then, what should I do moving forward?

I recalled the knowledge from the original work.

The Tower of Necromancy.

The Tower of Eternal Winter.

The Tower of Purgatory.

Disasters I whimsically thought of as my ultimate goal.

I knew those towers would become active soon.

I also knew the damage would exceed the level of ruining a country or two.

I recognized the incident. I knew I could help with it, even if only a little.

So, am I the only one who can resolve it? There are many people better than me, do I really have to do it?

I continued my thoughts absentmindedly.

‘Ah.’

While pondering, I suddenly extended my right arm.

I grabbed the box placed on the floor next to the bed. Carefully, I pulled it into my arms.

The box, which fit snugly in my arms, was filled with countless papers.

I had gained quite a bit of fame from the Shipnaha incident. Many images of me, released from the recognition-disabling magic through an artifact containing the power of Observation, were captured.

They said they edited it appropriately so that it wouldn’t cause me too much trouble and then broadcasted it.

As a result, my recognition and fame increased significantly, and letters poured in, enough to fill this box.

This box wasn’t the only one.

Many letters were from people I directly saved, and many were from others who heard the news globally.

I blankly caressed the letters.

They were a bit crumpled and felt cold to the touch.

But they also felt warm at the same time.

‘…I.’

I didn’t want to die. I valued myself more than others. I wanted to break the curse and live peacefully. I wanted to eat delicious food and live a leisurely life.

‘I want to be happy.’

That’s what Lee Hayul, the person, wanted.

I wanted to be happy.

And if possible, I wanted others to be happy too.

Happy laughter sounded better than unhappy crying.

Hearing that handwritten letters full of gratitude arrived even in this modern era where the internet was restored through the Tower of Harmony, I felt a sense of pride swell in my chest.

If possible, I wanted others to be happy too.

At my level, if I could dare to, I wanted to be happy, and I wanted others to be happy too.

Is it possible? The letters gave me the answer.

Professor Atra told me. The visitors during the hospital visit told me.

There were people I couldn’t save, but there were also people I saved. They said there were people who wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t stepped in. Thanks to my intervention, many who were supposed to die survived.

‘I’ve decided.’

I’ve set my goal once again.

In any case, I have to prevent apocalyptic disasters to survive myself.

I don’t want to die miserably. I don’t want to live happily but die shortly.

I’ll do my best.

So that I can regret less.

So that I can later say I did my best at that time.

The sky was still not visible. It was blocked by the ceiling, so it was obvious.

Also, it was obvious I couldn’t see it because I was looking down.

Thinking I could see above while looking down was foolish.

From now on… I will strive to lift my head.

Facing death made me realize many things.

It was laughable to be perpetually caught in the shadow of my dead parents. It was time to shake it off.

I steadied my mind and restructured my path for growth.

My plan to obtain the Necklace of Confession had failed miserably, so I devised a new plan.

I assumed that hidden pieces with easy acquisition difficulty, including the Necklace of Confession, would already be taken, and I thought of elements I could use.

‘Ah, but the necklace is such a pity…’

If I had at least sold it, I could have made a lot of money…

It was a huge regret. If I had obtained the Necklace of Confession, I could continue to ignore the Curse of Silence in the future.

But what can be done about reality? I could only swallow my regret.

– Creak

“Did anything happen?”

After a few hours passed, Professor Atra, who had left for personal errands, rushed in.

She strode towards me and hugged me as I sat on the bed.

Soft and warm heat enveloped my body completely.

‘…I’m happy.’

I accepted myself.

So I must not deny this feeling…

* * *

Finally discharged, it was the day after I returned to Shio-ram.

“Our family isn’t that great, so this is all I can give you, hehe… But I think it will definitely help you, Hayul!”

In Elia’s outstretched hand… Resting in her palm was a neatly arranged necklace.

From the information collected by the power of Observation, I felt the shape of the necklace.

A silver necklace that, rather than being fancy, was better described as simple.

The immature power of Observation also partially grasped the providence contained in the necklace.

A providence that reads the wearer’s mind and expresses it through voice…

‘This…’

The same appearance. Plus, an oddly familiar ability…

‘It’s the Necklace of Confession…’

The item I had given up on obtaining, why was it here…

I stood there, gaping in astonishment.

End of Chapter