I Became the Academy’s Disabled Student - Chapter 80

The massive beast charged, pushing the air aside, shrouded in a sinister mist of malice.

A drool of blood stretched between its gaping jaws, and eyes filled with killing intent aimed right at me.

All of it made me regret my immediate choice.

I gritted my teeth.

Whoosh! The sky’s wing feathers, hanging behind me, extended vertically. Soon they wrapped around my arms like thick gauntlets.

Into the wrapped sky’s wing feathers, I pumped a generous amount of Qi, inside and out. I was scraping the bottom of my magical reserves. My recovery couldn’t keep up with the consumption.

I hurled my fist.

Against the colossal forepaw, my hand seemed pitifully small and frail.

The Qi, intertwining with the surging Blood Cloud, flickered like a candle in the face of a storm.

Screech! A vicious claw from the foreleg slammed down onto my right arm. The Qi splintered. The sky’s wing feathers tore, the skin split open, and blood gushed out.

Crash! The huge forepaw swung down like a hammer. I blocked it with the opposite hand. Crack! A chilling noise transmitted from my arm as bundles of muscle around the bone ripped apart.

My body, unable to dissipate the shock, was pushed back. It felt like my upper body would collapse. I planted my legs firmly on the ground.

Yet, my legs dragged on. They trembled as if about to give out, inching backward bit by bit.

-Crash!

An immense shock spread throughout my body. My consciousness momentarily blurred.

The scenery changed.

Before I knew it, the door had shattered.

Having smashed through it with my body, I now rolled down the extended corridor.

It hurt. Pain whitewashed my brain. The invisible sights alternated between black and white.

A sense of crisis flowed along my spine. I tumbled over as if throwing my body forward. Thud! The thick foreleg crashed into where I had just been.

The claw pierced through the Qi, grazing my side. Blood spilled onto the floor. My consciousness rapidly dimmed.

Nausea roiled in my stomach. My internal organs twisted, threatening to spill out through the wounds. I wrapped the sky’s wing feathers around me to plug the holes.

Aerulus didn’t consider my condition. The forepaw shrouded in Blood Cloud and the widely opened jaws kept lunging at me.

Spatial perception wobbled unstably.

The pain drifted away. The sense of living was fading.

In my unseen field of view, a comfortably beckoning death approached with a gesture.

The comfort wasn’t alone. Compromise gestured next to it.

Escape now. It might be possible. At the very least, survival might be possible. Why am I doing this with people behind me? It’s nothing. Just abandon it. Aren’t I the most important? Live now and save later. There is no need for this right now. Later, I can save more people…

-Crack-!

I bit down hard. Cracks raced across my teeth. Blood from my gums gushed out.

This pain was vividly transmitted. Spitting out the welling blood, I shook my hand.

Crash! A barrage of slashes erupted from my grip, sweeping over Aerulus. The control was poor. My left hand was also caught in the onslaught.

I tumbled to the ground. My left hand, stripped of skin, barely touched the ground. Pain surged in. I struggled to my feet, staggering.

I forcefully dragged my leg forward.

Death had abruptly approached.

It was wrong.

The one approaching was me.

I was exposing my neck to death.

This wasn’t coercion. It wasn’t an unavoidable circumstance. It wasn’t an inescapable fate.

Wandering around in the rampaging dungeon was my choice. Killing the monsters was my choice, saving the people was my choice.

It was also my choice to block Aerulus outside, to crawl in here, to cling and fight with this monster.

‘I am…’

A vicious claw flew at me. I twisted my body to dodge. Bloodied slashes from the claws scraped my shoulder. Blood inevitably splattered. Strength drained from my left arm.

The onslaught continued. My body became battered. The Qi gradually dissipated. I thrashed my limbs in desperation, wringing out the circuits to manifest magic that included me in its range.

My body was increasingly pushed back. Against my will, my body bent more and more.

Right then, I wanted to run. I didn’t want to die, didn’t want to feel this pain, didn’t want to struggle with such a beast.

‘I am such a wretched human.’

In the dimly lit view, the past overlapped.

My life had barely spanned two decades. I hadn’t roamed the wide world freely.

But I had seen many people. Even if not face-to-face, the sea of knowledge was filled with various human spectacles.

There were many living in the present. Among them, many were happier than me.

A comfortable nest that was neither cold nor hot. Parents who loved their children. Circumstances that didn’t warrant great concerns about the future.

Envy tore at my guts. I couldn’t aim for such a life, didn’t have a wholesome disposition to strive for it.

Looking up made my stomach hurt. I had no confidence to climb up there. It seemed impossible to achieve that kind of happiness.

So, I deliberately looked down. I focused on the depth I could descend to at any moment.

There were many happier than me. So, I searched for those who were unhappier.

There were many happy people, but there were twice as many unhappy ones.

I was always beaten like a dog by my parents. And in this world, so many parents did the same.

Parents had torn at my belly.

Regardless, I lived. There were those who became butchered meat at their parents’ hands and some left in snowbanks to become ice.

I had never had a proper meal at my parents’ home. I was always starving. I remember consuming more cigarette ashes and alcohol than food.

I didn’t starve to death. In many places, it wasn’t about starving but rather dying of starvation.

I wasn’t loved by my parents. There were too many parents in this world who didn’t love their children.

Even in the present, that was the case. It was the same in the 21st century. Even the information recorded about them said so.

The 20th century. What about the even more difficult times before? The 19th century, the 18th century, the 17th century…

I considered all the eras of human existence, the cases of those unjustly buried without record.

Dare I count them? How many miseries were there? As many as there were happy—if not, incomparably more.

I took solace in that.

There were too many unhappier than me. I was not part of the relatively unhappy group. My circumstances were decent.

To whine about being unhappy with such trivial matters would be pathetic. Those truly unhappy were buried in the cold ground before they could even whine.

I was average.

So, don’t make a fuss.

I kept repeating this to myself. Even in my thoughts, it was a despicable and ugly notion.

Looking at happiness, I had no confidence to ascend, yet at the bottom, I masturbated to unhappiness.

I hated that part of me.

-“Aren’t you just like that vermin?”

Whenever that happened, my parents’ words filled my mind. Their voices made me nauseous just to recall, but I couldn’t help but remember.

-“You do nothing but consume. Even pigs leave behind meat when they die, but what about you? Huh?”

My parents didn’t love me. I longed for affection, but they didn’t give it.

Parents should naturally embrace their offspring, but mine didn’t.

For some reason, the language I understood without learning was always filled with curses. Negative emotions like disgust, contempt, jealousy, and envy overflowed.

They were wrong. Assuming the moral and social knowledge I learned is correct, they were wrong on both fronts: as parents and as humans.

-“You shouldn’t have been born.”

-“Why were you born, I didn’t want to give birth to something like this.”

-“Disgusting child.”

Dirty and revolting. Vile and selfish. An individual who shouldn’t have been born.

My parents were wrong. That’s what I believed. Therefore, everything they said had to be wrong.

When I mulled over my own ugliness, I couldn’t always deny it.

I felt like trash, matching what my parents said, taking comfort in others’ misfortune.

It had been years since my parents died, yet I still couldn’t escape their shadow, and I seemed too wretched.

I had to deny it.

I couldn’t even lie that I was a good person.

I rarely did minor good deeds in life.

I never took initiative. I never went out of my way to find and help others with their inconveniences.

Because it was out of my sight. Because I couldn’t see it. Because seeking it out to help, if not certain, was far too troublesome and annoying.

Also, because I couldn’t do it. Because I couldn’t save people dying on the other side of the globe. Because I couldn’t solve all the hunger and pain in the world. Because my ability was too poor to help others.

There were times when I couldn’t make such excuses.

Issues inside my field of vision. Matters I could definitely help with.

Beyond that, right now, at this moment, there was something only I could do.

It was the same then. I didn’t remember exactly, but it was an ordinary day.

There was a car running unstably, and someone who couldn’t get out of the way in time. There was no one but me nearby.

I was the only one who could help, and I had more than enough capacity to do so.

So, I threw myself at it. I pushed the person out of the way, and I was the one hit. My leg became useless.

‘I…’

It’s the same now.

With spatial perception, I could feel everyone in need of help.

Among the superhumans caught in the rampage, I was the strongest.

Right now, I was the only one who could block Aerulus.

‘I have to deny it.’

I shouldn’t become the bastard my parents talked about. I shouldn’t become the trash they talked about. I had to deny them.

But here, in this place where no one else can help, if I turn my back and flee…

I will never be able to deny it for the rest of my life. I won’t be able to make excuses to myself.

If someone asks me if I was unfairly treated by my parents, I won’t be able to answer without a moment’s hesitation.

‘That can’t happen.’

Crack! The tooth barely holding on cracked as if it would break at any moment.

I launched my fist.

Thud! A rough resonance transmitted. Aerulus’s form was slightly pushed back. The eyes of the monster bearing down on me widened.

Aerulus recoiled. Perhaps it considered the dying prey’s final resistance worth observing.

My hand trembled. I forcibly fit the awkwardly bent fingers back into place and clenched my fist.

My left arm lacked strength. I grabbed the protruding bone and twisted it back into place.

I don’t want to die. I don’t like getting hurt, and I don’t like pain.

But I don’t want to live with regret after running away here. I don’t want to live without being able to make excuses.

That’s the kind of human I am. Even before the kindness of helping others, I couldn’t back down for my own sake.

‘I’ll block it.’

As far as I can, because only I can… I have to.

I will block this monster. I’ll do the best I can.

If I survive later, I should be able to proudly say that I did my best at the time.

The thoughts of a being called ‘me.’

One of the elements that make up and support me.

A belief that distinguishes me from others.

A uniqueness that sets me apart from other entities.

Perhaps it’s because I’m facing death.

While feeling the sensation of disappearing, paradoxically, the entity known as ‘me’ became vividly clear.

-Thud!

At that moment, something resounded greatly within me.

-Thud!

The rough waves shook my mind.

-Thud!

The waves continued.

The dying heart throbbed loudly.

With each beat, my uniqueness became conscious.

‘Ah.’

It was only in the face of imminent death that I became aware.

A bitter laugh escaped me.

Magic Affinity and Jack-of-all-Trades.

They weren’t given to me. No one had given them to me. I had merely realized what ‘I’ inherently possessed.

Spatial perception… that was indeed given. And there were two, not just one.

Above all, I don’t know why I have these things.

Questions abounded, but for now, life was more pressing, so I shelved them.

Slowly, time that had been dragging was returning to normal.

-Creak- A sound of something breaking echoed in the corridor. Not from teeth, not from bones breaking, but from something else.

Aerulus, who had been watching me, flinched and lifted its head.

Its gaze turned upward.

There was no sky to be seen.

It was blocked by the ceiling, after all.

A sneer broke out. The sneer was directed at me.

‘This isn’t a game; it’s reality.’

Don’t treat the world like a game. It’s reality, so think properly.

That ceiling was obstructing my realization of my uniqueness.

Because it’s not a game. A world without magic or supernatural powers, that was the common sense I knew.

As much as I’m in this world now, I’m a human from the original world.

The narrow-minded thought that I couldn’t possibly have a unique ability in the original world, a belief that I had blindly assumed and devoutly believed in.

Crash!

A section of the already cracked ceiling collapsed. Debris from the ceiling showered down on Aerulus.

Also.

Spatial perception fell apart.

Spatial perception? That was wrong. It was just my hasty attempt to bundle together two tremendous things at my own level.

As the thing I called spatial perception collapsed, ‘information’ disappeared. The updating of the map stopped. Sensation remained, but the map was a poor substitute for just a moment ago.

It didn’t matter.

I knew how to restore this map.

-Ding!

Through my clouded mind, I could hear the sound of an alarm.

What could it be? It’s strange.

My smartwatch had disconnected long ago.

-Ding!

[The player is becoming aware of their uniqueness.]

[Your unique ability ‘Magic Affinity’ grows.]

[Your unique ability ‘Jack-of-all-Trades’ grows.]

[Reading the player’s emotions.]

[Player correction system: Measuring.]

…

▶Mental State:

‘On the Cusp of Death’: Standing in the face of death.

‘Savior’: Saving those in danger.

‘Goodness’: An intention belonging to goodness.

‘Sacrifice’: Giving up one’s own for others or for a purpose.

…

[Partially fulfilling the conditions.]

[The Savior correction system temporarily activates.]

[Assisting the savior.]

…