I Became a Villainous Character with a Limited Lifespan - Episode 122

Episode 122

“……”

To Seung-hyun, who didn’t even realize that Seok-hyung’s traces had disappeared, this situation felt unreal. Is this a dream? Am I having this dream because I miss him so much but know I can’t see him?

But the loneliness he felt just a moment ago was too vivid for that. The haggard face of Jae-young, who was panting in front of him, didn’t exist in Seung-hyun’s memory.

“……”

Neither Seung-hyun nor Jae-young could say anything for a long time and just looked at each other. Because the face of the other person they were seeing for the first time in a while was so haggard.

It seemed like there were quite a few things they wanted to say, but the moment they saw that face, they forgot everything.

“Why, no. How…?”

Seung-hyun was the first to open his mouth. He thought they would never meet again, so how did he know about this house and come here?

“If Secretary Lee comes…”

“You won’t see Secretary Lee again.”

Jae-young said while catching his breath. For some reason, he will no longer look for Seung-hyun. He couldn’t understand the reason, but that one thing he could be sure of.

The tired and somewhat relieved voice told him that Seok-hyung would not return.

“Did you do something to him?”

Seung-hyun, who couldn’t know such circumstances, hesitated and asked. Does he think I did something to Secretary Lee? Jae-young let out a hollow laugh and said,

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t lay a hand on him. Secretary Lee personally contacted me and told me the address of this house.”

“Why would Secretary Lee do such a thing…?”

Although Jae-young wasn’t the type to lie, it was a situation that was completely incomprehensible.

“That’s what I want to ask. He said he no longer had the confidence to face you, so what happened that made Secretary Lee say such a thing?”

“……”

Seung-hyun recalled Seok-hyung’s face from a moment ago. A somewhat relieved face, speaking to him differently from usual.

It was Seok-hyung who couldn’t let go of him in the end even though he knew the current Seung-hyun wasn’t “Han Seung-hyun.” His lack of confidence to face Seung-hyun anymore was probably because he could no longer deny that the crumbling Seung-hyun was a completely different person from the director he knew.

But there was no need to even tell Jae-young his whereabouts. Seung-hyun remained silent, still unable to escape the question.

Jae-young was also just as curious about what had happened between Seok-hyung and Seung-hyun, but their situation was more important than that. Jae-young took a step closer to Seung-hyun.

“…Your face has become very gaunt.”

A large, warm hand cupped one side of Seung-hyun’s cheek. At the warmth he felt for the first time in a long time, Seung-hyun trembled his lips for a moment, almost leaning into that hand.

He thought he shouldn’t get involved with him anymore, that it had to be that way. But the moment he saw his face, he was just happy to the point that such determination didn’t matter.

“Why did you do this alone, making me sad?”

However, the moment he heard the worried voice, the thought of whether this was a dream returned to reality. He belatedly recalled why he had to avoid Jae-young, why he regretted meeting him so much.

He had never imagined facing each other again in this situation. Moreover, judging from Jae-young’s current attitude, although he didn’t seem to fully know Seung-hyun’s condition, he seemed to have some idea.

He had expected rumors about his physical condition to spread since there was a commotion with Tae-sung, but he didn’t know how detailed the content of those rumors were.

Whether it was known as a temporary phenomenon or known in such detail that it couldn’t be hidden. After pondering for a moment, Seung-hyun soon lowered his head, thinking it didn’t matter anyway.

‘It’s not something that can be hidden forever anyway, and…’

A face that looked like it would cry at any moment and trembling hands. An attitude as if he had already prepared his heart. Seung-hyun dropped his head at the face that seemed to quickly see through any clumsy lies.

“…How much do you know?”

Seung-hyun gave up hiding and asked. Jae-young, who had been looking at Seung-hyun who couldn’t make eye contact for a long time, said,

“I heard that the painkillers at your house are not the kind prescribed to ordinary patients.”

“!!”

Seung-hyun’s eyes widened at the unexpected answer. He had thought Jae-young would have heard the rumors at most and hadn’t anticipated at all that he had found out even before that.

“…It’s not…”

Jae-young’s hand trembled as he carefully opened his mouth as if asking him to say it wasn’t such a serious matter. Although he thought he would directly meet him and hear from him, that it wouldn’t be the case, anxiety was deeply rooted in his mind.

The thoughts he had been pushing away, thinking that seeing his face first and talking first were the priorities, engulfed Jae-young the moment he saw Seung-hyun’s haggard face, as if they had been waiting.

“Please say something.”

The relief of finally meeting him was short-lived, and Jae-young waited for Seung-hyun’s answer without being able to say anything. He hoped he would answer that it was nothing serious, that it was an overreaction, but the unanswered response increased Jae-young’s anxiety.

Where should he start? Seung-hyun hesitated for a long time and opened his mouth.

“Why did you come? Didn’t we agree to end our story there?”

He didn’t want to say it. Whether he said it or not, it was equally painful, so he wanted to end it without saying it himself.

It was fine even if he was told he was running away, that he was a coward. Because he was that afraid and didn’t want to face this situation where he had to tell his condition himself.

“Why did you come all the way here just to hear something, making a person so…”

The truth was, he knew why Jae-young had looked for him like that, why he kept looking for him again as if nothing had happened even after hearing hurtful words.

Even though he guessed it was for the same reason he had wanted to see Jae-young even though he knew what the better choice was, sharp words kept spilling out.

“…miserable.”

He thought if there had been no Jae-young, if he hadn’t become precious to him. If he hadn’t known what love was, how desperate it made people, he wouldn’t have been this miserable.

His mind was such a mess that he didn’t even know the direction of his hatred was wrong, that these words would do no good for either of them.

“You should have just thought ah, this is how it is, this is the end. There are all sorts of strange people, so why did you have to drag it out all the way here?”

With the thought that he could no longer hide it, that he had finally come to face the situation he had wanted to avoid so much, he couldn’t raise his head. He just spat out his anger with the wrong destination towards the floor.

“Are you satisfied now?”

An appearance that was even thinner and more unsightly than the last time they met. A voice that was shaking in a mess, putting forth only immediate emotions.

He didn’t want to show this side of himself. Even if he became a bad person, he really didn’t want to show this shameful appearance.

In the end, even after being caught, the words he said, asking if he was satisfied after seeing him like this, made it even more bitter.

“……”

He might die soon, no. He will die. Seung-hyun faltered without being able to say those words. Jae-young was not a slow-witted person, and he said he knew what kind of medicine the painkiller Seung-hyun was taking was.

That voice asking him to say it wasn’t so, those trembling hands. It was as good as telling him that Jae-young already knew about Seung-hyun’s condition, but the words wouldn’t easily come out.

“…I regret meeting you, Ju Jae-young. If there was only one moment I could change in my life, I would go back to that day and leave that bar without looking back.”

“Am I such a regrettable moment for Han Seung-hyun?”

Jae-young withdrew his hand and asked. Seung-hyun nodded. Jae-young was the person who made him feel the most diverse emotions in his entire life, which had been unremarkable before he became “Han Seung-hyun,” no, since he became “Han Seung-hyun.”

“Yes.” 

The thought crossed his mind that he would regret these words as soon as he turned around, but he didn’t care.

The most lovely moment, the most regrettable moment, the happiest moment, the saddest moment. He was there in every moment with the word “most” attached to it. Seung-hyun smiled without telling him that fact.

“You too, by now, don’t you regret meeting me? What’s so good about me, you should have just…”

“That’s right. Certainly, it might have been better if we hadn’t met.”

Seung-hyun raised his head at the calm answer. That’s what he wanted to hear, he had hoped Jae-young would get angrier and leave him behind. For a moment, he felt a pain as if his heart was sinking.

“…But if I leave Han Seung-hyun like this, I’m sure I’ll regret it even more.”

The eyes he met as he raised his head held a sense of emptiness. Those eyes that always sparkled as if they found Seung-hyun lovely whenever they looked at him now felt so empty it made his heart ache.