I Became a Villainous Character with a Limited Lifespan - Episode 101

Episode 101

“…This secretary definitely acts according to Director Han’s intentions.”

Seung-hyun could differentiate between “Director Han Seung-hyun” and the current Seung-hyun, and so could Seok-hyung. So these words would sound different to the two of them, but to everyone else except them, they would be seen as the same person.

It wasn’t that Seung-hyun said those words hoping Jae-young would understand that subtle difference. He just wanted to make it clear, at least to himself, that he and Jae-young were different people.

“…So this matter too, that’s what you mean.”

“……”

Sometimes silence can also be an answer. Jae-young ruminated on that answer for a long time and smirked slightly.

He knew that Seung-hyun was quite afraid of something. He didn’t know what he was so afraid of, but it was painful for Jae-young to see Seung-hyun deliberately saying harsh words and pushing him away, so he didn’t ask and let it go.

Because his feelings for him were strong, he thought that if he stayed by his side, Seung-hyun would be able to find stability with him.

It would take time, but he thought they could do it if they had feelings and trust for each other. He thought that someday he would be able to hear about that unknown fear, and by then, their trust and love for each other would have deepened, so he thought he could understand whatever that fear was.

Jae-young had observed Seung-hyun closely and carefully more than anyone else. That’s why he could notice the trembling eyes and the anxiously twitching fingertips, even though Seung-hyun was pretending to be calm.

“…I’m sorry to you, Jae-young. You must have expected me to be a better person.”

“……”

“What can we do? Han Seung-hyun is originally that kind of person.”

Seung-hyun turned away, unable to meet Jae-young’s gaze. Yes, didn’t he know this would come up sooner or later?

Let’s end this properly now. Even if it means saying things he doesn’t mean. Even if it makes Jae-young think badly of him as a result.

‘Coming this far was a mistake in the first place.’

He knew it was his fault for not being able to draw a proper line. But even if he went back to the past, he wasn’t sure he could completely cut Jae-young out.

The memories filled with time more precious and happier than spending money meaninglessly were all engraved by Jae-young.

‘Still… the moments we were together were always fun.’

It was clearly his greed that kept extending the end of the relationship even though he knew it would end someday. But now it was really time to end it. The thread of a forcefully extended relationship was bound to break when stretched to its limit.

“Since you found out everything, we can’t even play pretend anymore.”

“……”

“It was fun in its own way, but you and I were originally in different places, so let’s just think of it as going back to where we belong.”

“Pretend.”

Jae-young, who had been silently looking at Seung-hyun, broke the long silence and opened his mouth. He clearly knew that what Seung-hyun was saying now was not all sincere.

Anyone else might not see it, but Jae-young could.

“…There’s no need to attach great meaning to it. I just needed a suitable distraction… and you also had a satisfactory time.”

Seung-hyun took a small deep breath. Jae-young seemed sufficiently shaken by these words alone, but he needed to be a bit more harsh for a complete end.

What would be good to say? What should he say to make Jae-young hate the sight of him? He wanted to say more hateful things, but nothing came out.

“I have never thought that we… were in a relationship that only met for each other’s benefit. I thought we were in a relationship where we could understand each other just by being next to each other.”

He didn’t want anything. He was just happy being by Seung-hyun’s side, and the time spent together was blissful. Except for the one thing he wanted to say the most but couldn’t.

He thought that if he just didn’t name his feelings for Seung-hyun or define their relationship, he could stay by his side.

“But now I really don’t know.”

He disliked the people who only talked about the rumored Seung-hyun. He thought it was pathetic how they could gossip so lightly without actually experiencing him, but inwardly he thought of himself as special.

Because the Seung-hyun he knew seemed to be his alone. He was glad that only he knew Seung-hyun, who seemed to be overly sharp or disinterested in anything, and had many cute aspects.

But now, to the point of feeling foolish, he couldn’t even guess Seung-hyun’s intentions, thinking he knew what kind of person he was.

Where does the truth begin and end? No, is there even any truth in what I know? Even though he could see the wavering eyes and trembling fingertips, he couldn’t be sure.

“I really don’t understand what you need, what you’re thinking, to cause this kind of trouble and say these things.”

“There’s no need to understand. Just… think of it as getting involved with the wrong person.”

Why did he enter that particular bar out of so many? If it weren’t for that coincidence, he wouldn’t have met Jae-young. Then he wouldn’t have gradually been drawn to Jae-young, and he wouldn’t have come to consider him special.

‘Then I wouldn’t have had to feel like this.’

It felt like someone was tearing his heart out. It was a painful feeling he didn’t want to experience, more agonizing than the attacks he had suffered a few times.

He had to say hurtful words, turn away after saying something that anyone would curse him for, but it was harder than he thought. It was as if someone was tightly holding his lips, and he couldn’t open his mouth.

“…If there’s a reason, please tell me. I don’t know much about companies or politics… but maybe I can understand a little. No, even if I can’t understand, just say something…”

Jae-young continued to speak instead of Seung-hyun. It was a lovely thing to say, stupidly wanting to believe in Seung-hyun even in this situation.

It would have been easier if he had gotten angry, asking if Seung-hyun had been deceiving him all this time, or what he wanted to do such a thing. Kindness could be this painful too. Seung-hyun chuckled softly.

“You were more of a fool than I thought, Jae-young.”

“……”

“I only want one thing. For you to no longer get involved with me and live quietly.”

What’s so good about wanting to believe in me? The memories with Jae-young were mostly happy moments, but that was entirely thanks to Jae-young.

It was always Jae-young who came to him first, made plans for the day, and said things that would make the other person happy. Seung-hyun just shared that time without rejecting it.

Even in his own opinion, he didn’t think he was such a good person. What part of him did Jae-young like, what was so good about being with him that he looked at Seung-hyun so earnestly with eyes wanting to believe?

“…Forget it ever happened and live on.”

“I can’t do that without even hearing the reason. Were the times we spent together just something so light that you can forget with a single word, Han Seung-hyun? So easily…”

“Is there a reason I can’t do that?”

Seung-hyun said something he didn’t even mean. He wouldn’t be able to forget the memories they shared or this moment until he took his last breath.

Unlike Jae-young, who had to live longer than he had lived so far, Seung-hyun didn’t have many days left, so he could probably endure it somehow.

“…No matter what you say, you have no intention of explaining at all.”

Jae-young said, biting his lower lip slightly and letting go. This wasn’t the first time he didn’t get a clear answer from Seung-hyun. Each time, he waited, thinking that Seung-hyun would answer someday if he waited.

He thought that when Seung-hyun became a little more comfortable with him, he would be able to define their current relationship and know what he was afraid of, but in the end, it seemed Seung-hyun was determined to push him away without saying anything.

Waiting wasn’t a difficult thing. If an answer came out by waiting, he could wait forever.

But now, there was nothing he could be sure of. The more his feelings grew, the more pain he felt. Jae-young released the strength from his hand that he had clenched into a fist so tightly that his nails dug into his palm.

“…I’m a bit tired.”

How long did he have to repeat this meaningless question and answer? Jae-young let out a small sigh. The moment was approaching when he had to admit that there were things that couldn’t be solved just with feelings of love.

If he turned away like this, it would be over. Then there was something he had to ask before that, something he had to say. Jae-young grabbed the wrist of Seung-hyun, who had turned away, and turned him around.