11. Imperial Banquet (5)

He didn’t say a single false word, and that’s because what he had just said was one of the things I had been telling myself all along.

My engagement with Kaelen is a strategic one, so I shouldn’t take it any further.

He has no feelings for me, so I should step back. It felt unsettling to hear words I had been saying to myself to deal with my feelings being spoken by someone else, although it was quite uncomfortable to hear them.

“Isn’t anyone talking about a strategic engagement? Who’s saying there are no feelings? That’s not it at all.”

“Then is it true?”

“I don’t know about Lord Kaelen’s feelings, but I’m telling you the truth. So, I don’t have any feelings for you at all.”

This was the one true sentiment I had just expressed. It was my true and honest feeling that I had never been able to reveal to anyone before. It burst out so passionately, maybe because it was the first time I had ever expressed these emotions.

Still, I held my composure and immediately drew a line regarding Kaelen’s feelings, thinking about the possibility of future developments. I knew that it was crucial not to let any hint of my own feelings escape.

However, even with this approach, it was clear that Lucas was disheartened. He sighed heavily with a defeated expression.

Being in unrequited love myself, I stared at him in a state of empathy, and it was then that I snapped out of it. Realizing that quite some time had passed, I suggested, “Shall we head back now? It feels like we’ve been away for too long.”

“Huh? Oh, but…”

“Lucas, just as your feelings are important to you, I want my feelings to be respected as well. So let’s end this conversation here.”

“I… I…”

It seemed that the fact that I had feelings for Kaelen was quite shocking, as Lucas struggled to articulate his words properly.

“Then, I hope that the next time we meet, we can greet each other as friends, just like before.”

“Uh, Helena!”

Seizing the opportunity to quickly get away from the spot, I turned around, but Lucas hurriedly called me.

I stopped my motion and turned to look at Lucas.

“We don’t know when it will be, but if by any chance your feelings for Lord Laverian disappear, could you consider my confession at that time?”

“My feelings for Kaelen will never disappear.”

I didn’t say anything to him and just turned around, walking away from the garden.

I didn’t want to engage in a conversation and complicate things further by providing an answer.

‘It’s hard.’

I came out to get some fresh air, but I suddenly felt my energy drain from my body.

I wanted to go home and rest. There were too many mentally draining events today.

I should tell Kaelen that I don’t feel well and ask if we can leave early.

If I say I’m not feeling well, he’ll probably let me go.

I didn’t really need his permission, but I felt like I should say goodbye properly to the person who accompanied me.

With that in mind, I headed towards the banquet hall to find Kaelen.

Just as I was nearing the banquet hall, it happened.

“Helena? It is Helena, right?”

The voice was familiar, and I turned my head to see who it was.

“Evelyn?”

“It’s Helena, right? How have you been all this time?”

Evelyn greeted me warmly with a smile and asked how I had been.

“Yeah, I’ve been doing well. How about you, Evelyn? It’s been such a long time.”

“I’ve been good too. Since we graduated from the academy, this is our first meeting, isn’t it?”

“That’s right. I heard you went on a long trip right after graduating, so we couldn’t stay in touch.”

“That was a smart move. Even if you had sent me letters, I probably couldn’t have replied. It was difficult for me to receive letters from my family. Still, I’m lucky I returned home before the start of the banquet so I could see you.”

“Yeah, I’m glad I ran into you like this.”

As we chatted and caught up on each other’s lives, Evelyn suddenly chuckled as if she remembered something amusing.

“By the way, I heard that Adelia got married?”

“Yeah, she got married just as she wished, to Calix Creighton.”

“I knew that would happen. They eventually got married.”

Seeing Evelyn’s cheerful smile, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.

If the story had followed the original narrative, Calix should have ended up with the novel’s heroine, Evelyn. But due to my minor intervention, the story had taken a completely different course. Calix fell in love with Adelia instead of Evelyn, which was the reason for my unease.

‘Sorry, Evelyn.’

As usual, I silently apologized to her in my heart, hoping that Evelyn would find an even better man.

“All of Adelia’s hard work finally paid off. I wish I could have seen it myself. But Helena, how about you?”

“Hmm?”

“How’s your relationship with the person you’ve had feelings for all these years?”

Seems like I got too lost in thought when there’s a person right in front of me. Evelyn waved her hand in front of my face.

“Huh? Me?”

“Well, haven’t you been in love with someone for a long time, just like Adelia? I don’t know who it is, but you know.”

“What?”

‘How does Evelyn know about this?’

Evelyn playfully tapped my shoulder as if to say, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, come on. Haven’t you been around me long enough to know about it? Helena, just like Adelia, you had your share of admirers during our academy days, right? Not as many as Adelia, of course, but you weren’t ignored either.”

“Wait, you mean people were interested in me during our academy days? Not Adelia? Why?”

I was genuinely surprised by Evelyn’s words and questioned her.

Seeing my surprised reaction, Evelyn shrugged her shoulders as if she couldn’t hold back her laughter.

“Of course, Adelia was quite popular because of her striking beauty, but from what I remember, Helena, you weren’t any less charming. It’s not like you’re unattractive. Plus, you’re always warm and kind to everyone.”

I began to feel my face turn red as Evelyn continued with her compliments. I tried to cool down my face by fanning myself with my hand.

“Don’t tease me, Evelyn. I feel embarrassed hearing compliments I never expected from you.”

Evelyn stood subtly by my side to avoid blocking the passage.

“Helena, you really didn’t know?”

“Huh? Uh, well…”

Evelyn chuckled as she watched me struggle to respond to her unexpected praise.

“But why were you outside the banquet? Were you planning to go home?”

“No, I just stepped outside the banquet hall for a moment. I was feeling a bit suffocated. Besides, Adelia isn’t here today, so it’s a bit boring.”

Evelyn’s words suddenly made me feel a strong wave of loneliness. I missed Adelia so much. I wanted to tell her about the emotions I felt today and spend the night talking with her.

‘Should I go see her?’

No, I shouldn’t. If I continued like this, I would always remain in the same place. Despite our close friendship, I had become too dependent on Adelia. As lonely as it might be, now was the best opportunity for me to become emotionally self-sufficient.

I quickly adjusted my thoughts and gathered my determination.

“Nevertheless, I wasn’t planning to go home; I was on my way back to the banquet hall.”

“That’s right. How about you, Evelyn?”

“Yeah, I came out because I felt stifled, but now I’m thinking about going back in.”

“Then let’s go in together.”

“Sure, let’s go. It’s a bit chilly because of the wind. We can have some warm tea together.”

We re-entered the banquet hall, chatting lightly as we did. Inside, it was still bustling with people and lively conversations.

“It’s still suffocating as soon as I come in.”

“Doesn’t Evelyn like these kinds of parties?”

“Yeah, I’m not really a fan of gatherings where people who aren’t particularly close put on a facade and have superficial conversations.”

“That’s so like you, Evelyn.”

I agreed with her words, laughing out loud.