10. Imperial Banquet (4)

“That… Adelia recently got married to Calix Creighton. Did you hear about it?”

“I heard about Adelia’s marriage, of course.”

“Oh, really?”

Lucas, who I thought would be shocked, answered nonchalantly.

“Yeah. And, the Creighton family’s estate is quite a distance from here, right? That’s why she couldn’t make it to the banquet?”

“Yeah, that’s right. She won’t be coming to the capital for a while. It would have been nice if you could have attended the wedding, Lucas.”

“Yeah, it would have been nice. But there was no way around it. To attend the banquet today, I couldn’t just quit my knight training in the middle.”

“Oh, that’s why you couldn’t come.”

“Anyway, even if I had gone to the wedding, it might have been more of a nuisance to Adelia.”

Lucas said with a proud smile.

“No, I’m sure everyone would have welcomed Lucas because the more people there to congratulate her, the better.”

“Do you think so?”

“Yeah, and well… it’s like a memory from the past, right?”

“Helena! Please, don’t bring up that incident.”

“Huh?”

When I mentioned the confession incident, Lucas blocked me with a shocked expression on his face.

“Just thinking about that day still makes me want to hit my head.”

Saying that, Lucas covered his head in apparent distress.

“You were young back then. So, don’t torment yourself too much.”

I comforted him with a slight smile.

“It’s probably more agonizing for you to know about it than anyone else. Oh, I was definitely crazy back then.”

“Huh?”

Looking at Lucas, who was saying incomprehensible words, he simply smiled and didn’t say anything else.

“You know, Helena.”

Instead, he suddenly lowered his voice and called me.

“Why?”

“Would you like to go outside for a bit to get some fresh air?”

“Fresh air?”

“Yeah. I have something to say to you…”

“Is that so?”

I didn’t know what he wanted to say, but it seemed like a good time.

While I was having a conversation with Lucas, I felt like I was constantly being watched from somewhere, and I wanted to get away from here too.

“Sure, let’s go.”

I walked toward the door with Lucas.

And the feeling of someone persistently watching me finally faded as I stepped out of the banquet hall.

“Phew.”

As I took in the cool breeze, my once-constricted chest finally felt some relief. I let out a sigh of relief internally and took a deep breath of the fresh air.

“Shall we go to the garden? I heard there’s a garden nearby filled with rare flowers.”

“Rare flowers? Sure, let’s go in that direction.”

I had no reason to refuse Lucas’s suggestion, as I’ve always had a fondness for flowers.

I nodded in agreement to Lucas’s proposal and we started walking towards the garden, which wasn’t far from the banquet hall.

As we approached, a gentle floral fragrance wafted through the wind.

“It smells lovely.”

“Indeed?”

“I’m glad we came out.”

As the scent grew stronger, I started to feel better.

“Thank goodness. Let’s go further inside.”

“Sure.”

We entered the garden filled with the fragrance of flowers, just as Lucas had suggested.

True to Lucas’s words, the garden was adorned with flowers I had never seen before.

“Wow, what kind of flower is this? They look so unique.”

I was captivated by the beautiful flowers, even though I prided myself on knowing a lot about flowers.

“I’ve never seen these flowers before.”

Despite my knowledge of flowers, the ones I was observing were entirely new to me.

“Where do these flowers bloom?”

Among the various flowers, a bunch of white, snowflake-like blossoms particularly caught my eye.

“I heard you can find them in the northern part of the continent.”

“Up north? It must be much colder there than the capital. It’s incredible how they can bloom so beautifully even in the cold. These must be really resilient flowers.”

“That’s right. It’s just that when I look at them, it reminds me of you, Helena.”

“Huh?”

“With their purity, strength, and vitality, these flowers remind me of you.”

Lucas emphasized the same words again.

I gazed at Lucas, feeling slightly embarrassed by his compliment, and didn’t say a word.

“Helena, I told you I have something to say.”

“Yeah.”

The relaxed atmosphere suddenly turned serious.

Lucas closed his lips tightly, seeming lost in thought.

I waited in silence until he decided to speak again.

After some time, Lucas finally opened his mouth.

“I love you.”

I was shocked by his unexpected confession and couldn’t hide my astonishment.

“…What?”

I couldn’t hide my surprise, and I asked Lucas.

“I know I might seem strange, but… I’ve always wanted to tell you about these feelings.”

“Wait a moment, Lucas.”

I thought he might be acting strangely because he hadn’t seen me in a long time. I wanted to confirm if he had been drinking or something, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask, ‘Have you been drinking? I’m not Adelia.’

So, I called his name quickly.

But Lucas began pouring out his confession like a bombshell, not stopping even for a moment.

“I tried to suppress my feelings. Helena, you’re Adelia’s closest friend, and… you have an engagement.”

‘Is he possibly under the influence of alcohol or something because it’s been a while since he last saw me?’

I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying.

However, Lucas didn’t stop speaking, and his confession continued.

“But it wasn’t easy to suppress it. My heart was already leaning towards you. Of course, it wasn’t like this from the beginning. I used to have feelings for Adelia. But after that incident, everyone avoided me, and you were the only one who paid attention to me.”

I was just trying to help him because he was infatuated with someone else. But because of that, this was happening.

I had no feelings for Lucas, and I still hadn’t sorted out my feelings for Kaelen. That’s why I couldn’t respond to Lucas’s emotions.

“It was only now that I realized… I never truly understood feelings of liking and loving someone until I faced them.”

‘What is this…’

Even though he had confessed to Adelia like crazy, he was saying it was just a liking, not love?

“Sigh.”

I let out a sigh internally, shaking my head in disbelief, as today had been a series of bewildering events.

“Lucas, this is…”

“Helena, can you please listen to my words to the end? I mustered the courage to say everything I’ve been holding inside.”

I couldn’t answer his confession properly as the situation got more tense, but Lucas just continued.

“I worked hard to stand before you with confidence. I haven’t joined the Imperial Guard yet, but I’m more confident than anyone else. So…”

“Wait, Lucas, wait a moment.”

I knew that the more I prolonged this conversation, the more difficult it would be to respond to his confession.

“There are many questions I want to ask, but first, regarding your confession earlier, I’m sorry, but I can’t accept your feelings.”

“Helena, if you just listen to me a bit more…”

“No, and as you mentioned, I’m engaged. I’m not in a situation to entertain such a confession. Even if I weren’t, I have never felt more for you than just being friends.”

“Friend?”

“Yes. So, in the context of our friendship, I feel a bit confused by your one-sided expression of emotions after not seeing each other for so long, Lucas.”

I drew the line at friendship, rejecting his confession.

Unrequited love…

I’ve been through it, so I know how difficult it is to not have your feelings reciprocated by someone you like. Nevertheless, if there’s no way to make them accept your feelings, it’s better to be cold and rational than to have an ambiguous attitude.

“I’m sorry, Helena. It seems like I pushed my feelings too much, and you might be confused from your perspective. But Helena, can you think a bit more about my confession? We’ve been engaged, and we haven’t made any progress in our relationship for years.”

Even in the face of my strong rejection, Lucas didn’t back down. He persisted and tried to force my heart to his side.

His actions were both bewildering and infuriating. In fact, I felt guilty about Adelia’s situation with Lucas. So, when he confessed, I tried my best to kindly reject him. However, when he questioned Kaelen’s and my relationship and treated it lightly, I began to feel a rising anger and resentment.

But I couldn’t accept his words.