5 Ways To Retire The Bad Girl - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“To the Risperio Empire-!”

Countless nobles followed the Emperor and raised their goblets high. “To the Risperio Empire.” The loud voice echoed through the banquet hall, followed by the strains of the orchestra as if in anticipation.

Setting her goblet down on the table out of courtesy, Aelia turned without hesitation. If she looked away for even a moment, someone would catch her.

The meaning of her gaze was clear. She knew they were trying to gauge her worth, trying to use her somehow.

In the past, She would have cringed at such attention, but not now. The blatant states were unpleasant for the first time in a long time.

Turning toward the terrace as if to flee, Aelia paused at the door. The owner of the footsteps following her was to blame.

“Wait here.”

Turning her head slightly, Aelia looked at Edwin and said firmly. He was her escort, but she had no intention of accompanying him everywhere.

“But…”

“Isn’t it enough to make sure I’m safe, that’s the extent of your duties?”

Edwin hesitated, but finally shut up. He couldn’t think of anything to say in response to her blunt tone.

Aelia closed the terrace door behind her and stared at Edwin. The shadow figure beyond the opaque glass was motionless, much like its master.

What kind of answer did she expect from him? Aelia let out a small sigh. She thought she’d laid it all down, but it seemed she hadn’t emptied it yet. The fact that she had dared to set her blade on Edwin was proof of that.

As an Imperial knight loyal to the Empire, as a man entrusted with her bodyguard, it was only natural that he should be concerned for her well-being.

“Like a fool.”

She muttered to herself and leaned her arms on the railing. Perhaps she should have gotten her new bodyguard sooner rather than later, Aelia thought to herself, too late. She could hear a loud noise in the distance, as if a group of commoner knights were having a drinking party somewhere.

No matter how much she mingled with the crowd, or how much she stood alone in the distance, the feeling of emptiness didn’t go away. She thought it was this bad when she went to school without a single close friend. Clenching her jaw, Aelia thought back to the not-so-distant past.

Surely her life as Han Se-ah was more recent than her past as Aelia, but somehow she couldn’t picture it easily.

“I shouldn’t be doing this already”.

Emotions swirled without knowing why. She didn’t like the way they were bouncing around, not knowing where they wanted to go.

She closed her eyes and tried to calm down, but the things that were bothering her wouldn’t be easily swallowed. As if to soothe her turbulent emotions, a cool breeze interrupted her thoughts.

“Are you starving in the Palace? Why do you look so thin every time I see you?”

The warmth that touched her cheeks was friendly with concern. Aelia slowly lifted her eyelids. His sudden approach didn’t startle her, whether it was the scent of his body on the wind or the fact that she’d been longing for another’s warmth.

Familiar colors seeped into her otherwise dark vision. His fiery red hair and clear golden eyes resembled the sun.

“Impossible. They tend to feed”

She wondered if she was lonely. She only met him a few times, but she was glad to see his face. Maybe it was because he was the first person she let into her place since she moved back here.

He stroked her lean cheek and perched on the railing. He stared at Aelia’s blue eyes, unwavering despite the fact that she had appeared out of thin air like a lie.

“Why? You don’t think I’ve been doing well?”

Aelia pulled his hand away from her cheek. She always showed up at her worst times, as if she knew what was going on. As if she knew she needed comfort. Aelia’s presence had come at an all-too-appropriate time, when she didn’t even realize it.

“If you say you’re having nightmares like last time, I’ll put you to bed again, so I’ll have an excuse to come to your room later.”

He always acted like he wanted her more, even though she was the one who needed him. There’s nothing to be gained by doing that. Aelia laughed, making a jilted sound. It felt like all the emotions that had been running wild a moment ago were falling into place.

“It’s okay, I have good dreams these days.”

Aelia’s lips curved into a smile at the memory of a simple, peaceful dream. She felt more at ease now that she’d let go of everything than she had when she’d been scrambling to hold onto so many things. Ever since she decided to think only of her own happiness, the impatience that had always made her uneasy was becoming okay.

He forced the corners of his mouth upward, as if he understood her laughter differently. But he was happy to see it, so he didn’t say anything else.

“Can I hold your hand?”

***

Regressed. It’s funny that Aelia could describe her situation with that one word. Even though she had a complicated time that couldn’t be described that way. The simplicity of the definition made it seem more difficult.

Clink!

The mug in Aelia’s grasp fell to the floor with a great force. Wasted. She slowly raised her head, coldly looking at the broken cup. Gazes that stared back at her with murderous intent. The familiar face was uncomfortable to see after so long.

“You were sleeping peacefully after what you did.”

The eyes, filled with anger, were cold as ice. Yes, those eyes. Her brother Kyle’s sharp words jolted her back to the present.

“What’s so hard about getting married a little earlier, when you’re going to do it anyway? Do you have any illusions that your choices are more important than the war?”

Unmoved by the barrage of words, Aelia gathered her thoughts. Marriage, and war. The two words easily reminded her of the present. The war the Emperor had started to unify the continent, and the way she ended it. The war he started to reunite the continents, which the Emperor had ended so arbitrarily.

“It matters, my choice. There has never been a time in my life when it hasn’t mattered.”

Aelia retorted lightly. In the past, she would have simply cried out in frustration, but now she couldn’t even snort at her anger.

Turning away from Kyle’s face, which was turning ugly in real time, Aelia pondered the memory. Her whole body tingled, too tired to have simply woken up. She heard a voice shouting something, and the next thing she knew, it was her, the one who’d been hit by the truck.

Why, despite her bewilderment, she quickly accepted the reversal of time. It was because this was Aelia’s third life.

Aelia Risperio is dead. She had been reincarnated as Han Se-ah in Korea, but her life had also ended abruptly. On a rainy day, without warning. Perhaps it was fate, orchestrated by something called God.

Even discovering after reincarnation that her previous life had been a work of fiction might have been part of that fate. Even if that was the case, it would not be a good fate to return to a place she considered hell.

“Aelia Risperio!”

“Aelia Risperio!”

The familiar voice echoed the words from the book. Kyle would yell it whenever his anger reached a fever pitch. And then Aelia Risperio, the villainess of the story, would burst into tears or spew evil.

She did. That’s what she was supposed to do.

“Speak softly, I can hear you.”

A faint hint of irritation creeps into Aelia’s voice. What’s the big deal about coming here first thing in the morning. Her head throbbed with the fatigue that was already creeping in. She rubbed her forehead and sighed heavily. The tightness in her chest was annoying.

“You don’t show any signs of remorse.”

“That’s because I haven’t done anything worthy of remorse.”

Aelia shrugged her shoulders, her face imposing. She was only seventeen, barely old enough to come of age, but the Emperor’s hidden daughter and the heroine of this novel were different.

“What was so wrong with informing the kingdom that Velita was eighteen?”

It wasn’t that she genuinely wanted her to marry instead; young Aelia just wanted to live, and had no other intentions. If she changed her mind and said she wanted Velita in the kingdom, the Emperor would have no choice but to make her a vassal through war. It was a calculated move.

Her stomach churned. It felt like something was about to explode. It wasn’t a feeling of injustice or sadness. It was like eating something wrong.

“The Kingdom of Harben never even knew of Velita’s existence in the first place, and all I had to do was sacrifice you and it would be over!”

“Uhuk, uhuk, ugh…”

Blood came out of Aelia’s mouth as she coughed. She covered her mouth for a moment, but it was clear that it was blood that soaked the palm of her hand. Aelia looked at the blanket that was starting to turn red. She should have been suspicious straight away when the maid handed her a glass of milk. It felt strange to hand it over before she even got out of bed, but with Kyke appearing, she didn’t have time to think deeper.

“What kind of trick is this again?”

Aelia, ignoring Kyle’s question, stood up. This was after wiping the blood stains around her mouth with her sleeve. If her mother  had seen it, she would have been scared. Whether it’s dirty clothes or herself suddenly vomiting blood. It would be either a worry or a scolding.

“Whatever the case, it’s none of your business.”

Aelia spoke sharply, suppressing the burning in her throat. A familiar feeling. Aelia sighed, trying hard to regurgitate blood flowing inside her. It was poison. It’s been a long time, and it makes her even more sick.

“The day we found the Empire’s lost princess, you said you wanted to end the war. It was all for the good of the Empire.”

Kyle clenched his teeth and turned away. Aelia was all too familiar with this situation. Everything she did was a disservice to the House, a disgrace to the Empire. She just wanted to be loved. She didn’t ask for much. If she had a little bit of breathing space, it wouldn’t have been so hard.

“If it is for the good of the Empire that you do so, Your Highness, I will gladly yield.”

Rubbing her stiff neck, Aelia pushed herself up from the bed. Dodging shards of broken glass, she stood up and faced forward, her gaze locking with Kyle’s, who was armed with a plastic fury.

“What?”

“You know, maybe the Emperor of Harben has unusual tastes. His Highness will have to marry someday, but I think it’s a little early.”

Aelia smiled at Kyle’s frown. For the sake of the Empire, the words were just the wrapping paper for this marriage. It was all just the Emperor’s selfishness, his desire to give Velita the symbolism of a princess. The one who brought peace to the continent. She had already been labeled as such. Even though it was Aelia who was sacrificed.

Wiping the blood from the corner of her mouth once more with her sleeve, Aelia brushed past Kyle and headed for the nightstand. Kyle’s gaze stung as he followed her, as if he suspected she was up to no good. She sighed heavily, hating that futile suspicion.

Aelia opened the second drawer of her nightstand, grabbed one of the many small bottles of water, and downed it in one gulp. It was the antidote to the poison she had ingested. It would take some time to fully detoxify, but it seemed to ease the pain in her chest.

Kyle’s mouth clamped shut as if he was speechless, and Aelia kept her smile on her face as she watched his rigid expression. There was no point in getting angry. She knew he was like this anyway, and she knew that no matter how angry or sad she was with him, it would be a waste of emotion.

“I don’t think a life in the Empire makes me very happy.”

Living for herself feels like living fully and happily. In her first life, she hadn’t known it until she died: she was always lonely, jealous, and manipulative, hungry for the affection of others. If she had forgotten what it was like to be a child, she would have lived it all over again.

Tuk, tuk. Aelia’s hand brushed Kyle’s shoulder lightly. She didn’t care that her hand stained the hem of his shirt with dried blood. A family like this wasn’t worth hanging on to in the first place. Aelia suddenly felt sorry for her former life.

Stepping away from Kyle, Aelia rang the bell on the nightstand. The person who entered as if expecting her was no stranger. But it wasn’t the woman who had handed her the milk earlier.

“Aelia.”

Ignoring Kyle’s attempts to add more words, Aelia raised her hand. With a loud crack, the handmaid’s face turned. Aelia was the only one in the room who remained silent.

“I’m a bit busy, Your Highness, as you can see.”

“…”

Kyle took a step back as Aelia looked back at him. Her eyes were still, unmoved, a look he’d never seen in her before.